UPJOKE
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Camouflage Jokes

Sergeant: “Smith! I didn’t see you at camouflage practice today!”

Private Smith: “Thank you, Sir!”

Some people love camouflage clothing

But I don’t see the appeal

I was going to start a camouflage plane company

But I just can’t see it taking off

Why is it spelled camouflage?

And not

Why do people wear camouflage?

I don't know I've never seen one.

To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket...

You can hide but you can't run!

Camouflage training

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."

"Thank you very much, sir."

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Have you heard of the new camouflage condoms?

Now they'll never see you cumming!

My wife bought me a camouflage cover for my dictionary and it's just what I always wanted

I'd like to thank her, but I can't find the words

If a tree falls.....

A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.

Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"

Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!"

For fashion week, Paris covered the famous Eiffel Tower in camouflage

I'll be honest, I don't see the attraction.

A local man has been trying to invent a camouflage suit for dolphins

While it seems like a cool idea, I just don't see the porpoise

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My wife claims that men in camouflage look really sexy.

I just don’t see it.

Camouflage clothing is so ugly...

It's no wonder you don't see anyone wearing it.

I went to the store to buy camouflage pants...

but I didn't see any.

The camouflage test

\- **Soldier**: Hello commander Robert!

\-**Commander**: Hello! I didn't see you at the camouflage test...

\-**Soldier** :Thanks commander Robert!

How does a dog camouflage itself in the forest?

It barks.


My 4 yo made this up.

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How do elephants camouflage themselves in the jungle?

They paint their balls pink and hide up cherry tree's.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?


Giraffes eating the berries.

The first annual meeting of the camouflage club was disastrous.

It looked like nobody showed up.

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Camouflage

The General was reviewing the troops during camouflage training when suddenly a tree trunk starts jumping around.

"Soldier, what are you doing?" screamed the General.

"When the bird shit on my arm, I didn't move a muscle," said the private. "And when the dog pissed on my leg, I kept ...

My wife ran into the room suddenly and yelled: “Quick! Do you know of anything physical that gives off no smells? Zero. Sort of like an olfactory camouflage that would be utterly invisible to the nose?”

Confused, I thought for a moment, and then replied: “What you are describing makes absolutely no scents”

September 15th is national camouflage day.

I hope I don't see anyone celebrating.

What do you call a Karen wearing hunting camouflage?

Bossy Oak.

A mother Chameleon was so overcome with joy when her eggs hatched that her camouflage dropped.

Looking down excitedly, she exclaimed, "I've become apparent!"

I convinced my friend to not purchase a camouflage jacket.

It's something I couldn't see him wearing.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

The shop owner said that they had the best camouflage trousers ever. He must have been jeering at me.

What do you call a girl wearing camouflage?

Heidi.

Typical! No one has turned up at Camouflage Club

Again!

Why do hardcore kids wear camouflage?

Because they don't want to be scene.



If you were in high school in the mid 2000s, you get it.

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Today I saw a girl wearing camouflage pants.

They didn't show her ass very well.

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How does an elephant camouflage? & What's the loudest thing in the forest?

He paints his balls in red and climbs on a cherry tree & A giraffe eating a cherry.

General: soldier I did not see you in camouflage class today!

Soldier: Thanks, Sir....





Yes this is me ... I fixed the original post....

If I owned a condom shop, it would be called Camouflage Condoms

Because, “you’d never see us coming”

There's this new camouflage being developped that apparently makes soldiers invisible!

You have to not see it to believe it.

I bought a package of camouflage condoms last night

She never saw me coming

Camouflage

What do you call a pig who's good at hiding among pine trees ?
.
.
.
Porkypine

Purple is the best color for camouflage

Have you ever seen a soldier in violet ?

I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today

but I couldn't find it.

Why does the Pirate Wear Camouflage Underwear?

To hide his booty.

My camouflage is only 70% functional

Ouf

My friend promised me he was going to the camouflage convention

But I never saw him there!

What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage?

A croaking device.

I wanted to make a camouflage joke

But I couldn't seem to find any

This is the anniversary of my great great great grandfather inventing camouflage.

Not that anyone noticed.

What do you call John Cena in camouflage?

Redundant

English is the Devil’s language

Why is it spelled: camouflage

And not:

What do you call an alligator in a camouflage vest?

A private investigator.

Did you hear about the new camouflage turban?

It helps you hide and Sikh.

I was looking for some camouflage trousers earlier...

But I couldn't find any

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

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Im wearing my camouflaged underwear.

They'll never see me cuming

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.



A few other excellent puns:

He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? - Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.

A ...

Camouflage can be seen as a form of lying

Except it can't.

That's the 3rd time in 3 weeks

That I've been to camouflage club, and no one else was there!

I was going to apply for a job in the army,

But I just couldn’t see myself in camouflage.

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?
Punch: Because they are already "in the skies".

Thank you, I'll see myself out.

I got hit by a truck with a camouflage paint job.

It came out of nowhere.

There was this guy on the road

There was this guy on the road who was found painted grey with a white push bike symbol painted on. He said he lays down on roads to camouflage himself waiting for people to ride their bikes over him because he enjoyed the feeling.

This guy was a real cycle path.

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A guy from the city decides to go hunting

He spends a bunch of money getting all the right equipment and gear and camouflage outfit, etc. then heads out to hunt some geese. He finds his local hunting grounds and heads out with his rifle. He spends all day not seeing a single animal, and just before he decides to give up, he sees a flock o...

A soldier, airman, marine, and a sailor walk into a bar...

The soldier boasts, "Our camouflage is so good, we put 50 men in the desert and only 20 were found."

The airman retorts, "That's nothing. Our camouflage is so effective, we put 50 jets in the sky, and only 15 were found!"

The marine says, with a big grin, "Amateurs, our camouflage is s...

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