Catfish Jokes

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One’s a scum-sucking bottom feeding scavenger and the other is a catfish.

No clue how it baits the hook with those tiny paws.

One's a scum-sucking bottomfeeder. The other's a fish.

It kept knocking stuff off of the water table

They hired a Java Developer remotely but when they finally met him in real life, he turned out to be a JavaScript developer!

The bass next door was too loud

You have to use clickbait.

That’s gotta be a record! She was squeezed into yoga pants at the end of the bar.

What's a hammerfer? Fer driving nails.

My 8year old friend thinks this is the greatest joke, I thought so too when I was his age.

My coworker said “I’ve never had good catfish”

Someone else replied “you haven’t been on the internet long enough!”

I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

An elephant in the room.

That weighed 280 lbs on Tinder

One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried.

*-Hannibal Lecter*

Teach a man how to catfish, and he eats for life

I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.

A string ray!

He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .

Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?

One day, very tragically, Catf... read more

He sits down and the waiter approaches him.

Do you want to hear the daily specials sir? He asks.

"No thank you", says Todd, "let me smell your hand and I'll tell you want I'd like today".

So the waiter reluctantly proceeds to offer his hand to be smelled by this weird customer.<... read more

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for t... read more

It’s that catfishing is surprisingly easy online

Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ...

All he caught were catfish.

My teacher was telling us about this joke today so I thought I would share.

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and
goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there wearing... read more

Obvious catfish situation

She says, “Alright, what does the pig give you?” And the kids all reply with “Bacon!” Then the teacher goes “what does the cow give you?” And the kids go “Beef!” And as a joke the teacher goes “What about the Catfish!” And another teacher looking haggard with a cold sore looking uncomfortable goes “... read more

A catfish.

Because either-net works when he’s catfishing.

but most of them these days are catfish.

Even though there are still many fish in the sea, he was netted into a relationship and got catfished.

On Friday afternoon, a man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go on a fishing trip with my boss. We'll be gone a week. This is a great chance for me to work on that promotion! Would you please pack some clothes for me and set out my rod and tackle box. I’ll swing by the hou... read more

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, in Mobile , and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"


"Well Ar... read more