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Ponds Jokes

Just hurt my wrists digging a hole between two koi ponds.

I think it's carpal tunnel.

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Mr and Mrs Ponds

Mr Ponds was a voracious reader , who had read books on every possible subject. Mrs Ponds on the other hand was a woman of action. She actually went out and experienced things herself. Whether it be big adventures or small local activities, she occupied her time doing things.


At dinner pa...

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Through a poorly-worded genie wish, a man now has a 20-inch-long penis.

While the bragging rights were good for a few days, the man soon realizes that his dick is uncomfortable and unusable, and he must find a solution. He begins asking the local enchanters and witches if they have any suggestions, and finally gets a lead that the enchanted forest over yonder is home to...

Two college girls went skinny dipping in a pond

Suddenly a farmer comes over with a bucket and they scream and cover themselves.

"What are you doing, you pervert?!" One of them shouts.

The farmer then pours the bucket of fish into the water.

"Oh don't worry, I'm just here to feed the alligators,"

A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the desk and says "buk".

So the librarian gives the chicken a book. The chicken walks outside with the book and comes back 5 minutes later without the book.

"Buk, buk" says the chicken again, so the librarian gives it another book, it walks outside and returns with no book.

"Buk, buk" it says, and the same ...

3 ducks were arrested for blowing bubbles at the pond

So the judge asks to see the first duck and he says 'my name is ducky and I was arrested at the pond for blowing bubbles'. The judge asks to see the second duck and he says 'my name is ducky and I was arrested at the pond for blowing bubbles'. The judge then asks to see the third duck and he says 'm...

A Vole and the Farmer

A Vole and the Farmer are sitting on a tractor tire after a long day of working. Farmer goes "what in the Sam hell are you so tired over you didn't do a damn thing but just sit around like a field mouse"

Well the vole says "a life of a vole is very hard. We do lots of things such as burrow t...

Three ducks went to court after being arrested

When the judge calls upon the first duck, he asks him, "what's your name?"

The duck responds, "Quack."

And what did you get arrested for?

The duck says, "I got arrested for blowing bubbles in the pond."
And he goes on his way.

The judge calls upon the second duck, an...

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The mermaid joke

The guy that has only one testicle was swimming in the pond and all of a sudden someone grabs him from his testicle. He looks down and sees a mermaid is holding his ball.
Then mermaid asks:
plus 1 or minus 1?
The shocked and scared guy says:
plus 1.
Tge mermaid lets him go and swim...

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