Do y‌‌ou e‌‌ver w‌‌ake u‌‌p, k‌‌iss t‌‌he p‌‌erson s‌‌leeping b‌‌eside y‌‌ou a‌‌nd f‌‌eel g‌‌lad t‌‌hat y‌‌ou're a‌‌live?

I j‌‌ust d‌‌id a‌‌nd a‌‌pparently w‌‌ill n‌‌ot b‌‌e a‌‌llowed o‌‌n t‌‌his a‌‌irline a‌‌gain.

When an eel bites your eye and you think you might die..

...that’s a Moray.

I didn't believe my wife when she could make a delicious dinner out of an electric eel.

But when I tried it, I was shocked!

Did you know that it’s wrong to breed eels with eagles?

It’s eel-eagle.

When you swim in the creek and an eel bites your cheek

that's a moray!

He asked: how do you f‌‌eel a‌‌bout s‌‌ex?

She replied: well I like it i‌‌nfrequently.

He said: is that o‌‌ne word or t‌‌wo?

What do you call an Eel which loves the new Star Wars trilogy?

A More-Rey Eel

What did the Italian marine biologist say when asked to identify an eel?

That's a moray!



I'll see myself out...

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore

When you suddenly squeal 'cause you stepped on an eel that’s a moray!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The eel shop

A Japanese laborer was so poor he couldn’t afford any side dishes and ate only rice. At lunch he would take his bento box and sit behind an unagi restaurant. Before each bite he would inhale the delicious smell coming from the restaurant and then put the plain rice into his mouth.

After a co...

Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?

It’s Eeleagle

What kind of eels can travel on land?

Wheels.

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

“Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised and asked

“Fur-eel man?”

When an eel strikes your heel and severe pain you feel...

... That's a moray.

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

Sea life joke

So the flounder was chatting with his eel friend and asked
"Have you heard about the new twin squid?"
And the eel replied
"Yeah, I heard they were totally i-Tentacle"

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that seafood.

I feel kinda eel.

I met the most interesting eel the other day. His name was Oscar Neale and he lived in a tiny wooden house.

They called him "Shack Eel O. Neale"

Why is the eel considered the most romantic animal?

Because its a moray.

How to Kill an Eel

"Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnn...

How many Hungarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the eel, the other to screw in the hovercraft.

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

If you met an eel in a top hat...

...that would be Sir Eel.

(say it out loud)

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.

I identify as an elongated fish.

People say I'm mentally eel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

sea

When you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
When your eyes glass over and shine like you’ve broken your spine, that’s a moray.
The ambulance bells will ring, and they’ll ting
And you’ll siiiiing
“That’s a moray”
When the jaws open wide and there’s more teeth ...

Who was the first ever to use electricity?

Eels

What do you call a long, skinny fish wearing makeup and a suit of armor?

Pretty Sir Eel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Marble Statues

There are these two beautiful marble statues on either side of a big open piazza. For centuries they have stood frozen, staring longingly into each other's eyes.

One day the gods look down upon them with pity and decide to grant them one hour of mortal life. The statues, overwhelmed with joy,...

That's the last time I eat seafood.

It made me feel a bit...eel.

What do you call a Jewish fish?

Isra-eel.

Trip to the aquarium joke

The other week I was in the aquarium having a whale of a time (pardon the pun). I saw sea horses, sharks, turtles, the whole shebang. But I couldn't wait to get to my favourite creature. I don't know why but I've always been fascinated by eels. I did a project on them in primary school and since the...

I just learned how to read Braille

I was always unsure, is it “Bray-eel-ay”? Maybe it’s “Brah-el”?

I just found out earlier it’s “Brale”

The more you know...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a multi billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.

A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've got a deal you can't refuse. Whoever can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leeches may have whatever his heart desires."

No one replies so the man gives up.

All of a sudden the man hears a sp...

I have an uncle in Texas

He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long....

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

I think I met a medieval water snake

But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.

It was totally Sir Eel.

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