UPJOKE
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Eel Jokes

Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?

It’s Eeleagle

I didn't believe my wife when she could make a delicious dinner out of an electric eel.

But when I tried it, I was shocked!

An alligator asked an electric eel, “hey, can I touch you?”

Electric eel: Yes, but I’d have to charge you.

Did you know that it’s wrong to breed eels with eagles?

It’s eel-eagle.

What kind of eels can travel on land?

Wheels.

What happens when two eels fall in love?

They develop eelings for each other

What’s Dean Martin’s favourite eel?

That’s a moray.

What kind of eel hits your eye like a big pizza pie?

That's a Moray.

When an eel strikes your heel and severe pain you feel...

... That's a moray.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The eel shop

A Japanese laborer was so poor he couldn’t afford any side dishes and ate only rice. At lunch he would take his bento box and sit behind an unagi restaurant. Before each bite he would inhale the delicious smell coming from the restaurant and then put the plain rice into his mouth.

After a co...

What's the difference between an eel and a lawyer?

One's an ugly, slimy, scaly, cold blooded parasitic scum-sucking bottom-feeder,



and the other is a fish that's shaped like a snake.

What do electric eels like to swim in?

Fresh Watter

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

What do you call an eel with a talk show?

Moray Povich

What did Dean Martin scream when he bumped an eel while scuba diving?

That’s Amorè!

What did the Italian marine biologist say when asked to identify an eel?

That's a moray!



I'll see myself out...

If you met an eel in a top hat...

...that would be Sir Eel.

(say it out loud)

How to Kill an Eel

"Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnn...

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.

A man walks up to a fisherman, asking for an eel

A man walked up to a fisherman, asking for an eel to purchase. The fisherman says that he needs not any payment, but will give him an eel for free if he listens to a joke of his. The man thinks this a good deal, so he accepts.

The fisherman then proceeds to tell the man one of the best jokes,...

I met the most interesting eel the other day. His name was Oscar Neale and he lived in a tiny wooden house.

They called him "Shack Eel O. Neale"

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

“Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised and asked

“Fur-eel man?”

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

Teacher in class asks riddles. She asks little Johnny:

"It's a small animal with 4 legs. What is it?"

Little Johnny says: "Dog."

Teacher replies: "But could be a cat too. Alright, another one. It's a long, thin animal with no legs."

Little Johnny: "A snake."

Teacher: "Could be. But could also be an eel."

Little Johnny:...

Which two fish you need to make a shoe?

Sole and eel.

Sea life joke

So the flounder was chatting with his eel friend and asked
"Have you heard about the new twin squid?"
And the eel replied
"Yeah, I heard they were totally i-Tentacle"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the new Nazi documents that have been uncovered?

They were conducting experiments involving mixing the DNA of electric eels, dogs, and captured British soldiers.

According to the plans they were quite eel-lab-brit.

Ps: sorry...

A Newfoundlander in 1992

The Year is 1992, an Ontarian and a Newfy are waiting in line for social welfare benefits. The Newfie asks the Ontarian

“So why are you here?”

The Ontarian says “I was laid off from my manufacturing job because it’s the early nineties, why are you here?”

“I’m here because of the...

I identify as an elongated fish...

People say im mentally eel

Trip to the aquarium joke

The other week I was in the aquarium having a whale of a time (pardon the pun). I saw sea horses, sharks, turtles, the whole shebang. But I couldn't wait to get to my favourite creature. I don't know why but I've always been fascinated by eels. I did a project on them in primary school and since the...

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that seafood.

I feel kinda eel.

I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t trust marine biologists

Something about them feels….. fishy

What do you get when you mix a squirrel with an eel?

A squirrel.

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore

When you suddenly squeal 'cause you stepped on an eel that’s a moray!

How many Hungarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the eel, the other to screw in the hovercraft.

What do you call a Jewish fish?

Isra-eel.

What do you call a long, skinny fish wearing makeup and a suit of armor?

Pretty Sir Eel

That's the last time I eat seafood.

It made me feel a bit...eel.

Who was the first ever to use electricity?

Eels

A might King was nearing the end of his life, and knew he needed a suitor for his daughter before he died.

In order to find the bravest, mightiest, most valiant man in the Kingdom (and perhaps cull out a few of the weaker ones), the King decided to host a challenge.

He invited the *entire* Kingdom to gather around a large pool that he filled with snakes, alligators, eels, and every other kind of d...

sea

When you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
When your eyes glass over and shine like you’ve broken your spine, that’s a moray.
The ambulance bells will ring, and they’ll ting
And you’ll siiiiing
“That’s a moray”
When the jaws open wide and there’s more teeth ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a multi billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.

A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've got a deal you can't refuse. Whoever can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leeches may have whatever his heart desires."

No one replies so the man gives up.

All of a sudden the man hears a sp...

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
<...

I have an uncle in Texas

He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long....

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