To be sung: When you scuba dive, and an eel grabs your thigh,

that's a moray.

Did you know that it is wrong to breed eels with eagles?

It’s because it is eel-eagle.

Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?

It’s Eeleagle

I didn't believe my wife when she could make a delicious dinner out of an electric eel.

But when I tried it, I was shocked!

What happens when two eels fall in love?

They develop eelings for each other

What do you get when you mix a squirrel with an eel?

A squirrel.

Teacher in class asks riddles. She asks little Johnny:

"It's a small animal with 4 legs. What is it?"

Little Johnny says: "Dog."

Teacher replies: "But could be a cat too. Alright, another one. It's a long, thin animal with no legs."

Little Johnny: "A snake."

Teacher: "Could be. But could also be an eel."

Little Johnny:...

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The eel shop

A Japanese laborer was so poor he couldn’t afford any side dishes and ate only rice. At lunch he would take his bento box and sit behind an unagi restaurant. Before each bite he would inhale the delicious smell coming from the restaurant and then put the plain rice into his mouth.

After a co...

Do y‌‌ou e‌‌ver w‌‌ake u‌‌p, k‌‌iss t‌‌he p‌‌erson s‌‌leeping b‌‌eside y‌‌ou a‌‌nd f‌‌eel g‌‌lad t‌‌hat y‌‌ou're a‌‌live?

I j‌‌ust d‌‌id a‌‌nd a‌‌pparently w‌‌ill n‌‌ot b‌‌e a‌‌llowed o‌‌n t‌‌his a‌‌irline a‌‌gain.

What’s Dean Martin’s favourite eel?

That’s a moray.

What do electric eels like to swim in?

Fresh Watter

When you swim in the creek and an eel bites your cheek

that's a moray!

What's the difference between an eel and a lawyer?

One's an ugly, slimy, scaly, cold blooded parasitic scum-sucking bottom-feeder,



and the other is a fish that's shaped like a snake.

When an eel bites your eye and you think you might die..

...that’s a Moray.

How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?

Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.

What kind of eels can travel on land?

Wheels.

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

What did the Italian marine biologist say when asked to identify an eel?

That's a moray!



I'll see myself out...

What do you call an Eel which loves the new Star Wars trilogy?

A More-Rey Eel

When an eel strikes your heel and severe pain you feel...

... That's a moray.

He asked: how do you f‌‌eel a‌‌bout s‌‌ex?

She replied: well I like it i‌‌nfrequently.

He said: is that o‌‌ne word or t‌‌wo?

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Did you hear about the new Nazi documents that have been uncovered?

They were conducting experiments involving mixing the DNA of electric eels, dogs, and captured British soldiers.

According to the plans they were quite eel-lab-brit.

Ps: sorry...

How to Kill an Eel

"Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather
curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnn...

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

If you met an eel in a top hat...

...that would be Sir Eel.

(say it out loud)

A‌‌n o‌‌ld d‌‌ying m‌‌an i‌‌nvites 3‌‌ o‌‌f h‌‌is f‌‌riends t‌‌o h‌‌is d‌‌eathbed a‌‌nd a‌‌sks a‌‌ f‌‌avor.

H‌‌‌‌e s‌‌‌‌ays, "‌‌‌‌We've b‌‌‌‌een a‌‌‌‌s b‌‌‌‌rothers f‌‌‌‌or l‌‌‌‌onger t‌‌‌‌han I‌‌‌‌ c‌‌‌‌an r‌‌‌‌emember, a‌‌‌‌nd w‌‌‌‌hile I‌‌‌‌ w‌‌‌‌as n‌‌‌‌ot r‌‌‌‌ich i‌‌‌‌n l‌‌‌‌ife, I‌‌‌‌ w‌‌‌‌ould l‌‌‌‌ike t‌‌‌‌o b‌‌‌‌ring s‌‌‌‌ome w‌‌‌‌ealth w‌‌‌‌ith m‌‌‌‌e a‌‌‌‌s I‌‌‌‌ d‌‌‌‌ie. I‌‌‌‌f y‌‌‌‌ou c‌‌‌‌o...

I met the most interesting eel the other day. His name was Oscar Neale and he lived in a tiny wooden house.

They called him "Shack Eel O. Neale"

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.

Sea life joke

So the flounder was chatting with his eel friend and asked
"Have you heard about the new twin squid?"
And the eel replied
"Yeah, I heard they were totally i-Tentacle"

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

I identify as an elongated fish...

People say im mentally eel

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore

When you suddenly squeal 'cause you stepped on an eel that’s a moray!

I knew I shouldn't have eaten that seafood.

I feel kinda eel.

How many Hungarians does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the eel, the other to screw in the hovercraft.

sea

When you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
When your eyes glass over and shine like you’ve broken your spine, that’s a moray.
The ambulance bells will ring, and they’ll ting
And you’ll siiiiing
“That’s a moray”
When the jaws open wide and there’s more teeth ...

Trip to the aquarium joke

The other week I was in the aquarium having a whale of a time (pardon the pun). I saw sea horses, sharks, turtles, the whole shebang. But I couldn't wait to get to my favourite creature. I don't know why but I've always been fascinated by eels. I did a project on them in primary school and since the...

What do you call a long, skinny fish wearing makeup and a suit of armor?

Pretty Sir Eel

What do you call a Jewish fish?

Isra-eel.

That's the last time I eat seafood.

It made me feel a bit...eel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a multi billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.

A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've got a deal you can't refuse. Whoever can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leeches may have whatever his heart desires."

No one replies so the man gives up.

All of a sudden the man hears a sp...

The captain's supple young bride...

... fell into the bay at low tide.
You could tell by the squeals
that some of the eels
had found a dark place to hide.

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
<...

I have an uncle in Texas

He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long....

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

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