Why can't you breed an eel with an eagle?

Because it's eeleagle.

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The eel shop

A Japanese laborer was so poor he couldn’t afford any side dishes and ate only rice. At lunch he would take his bento box and sit behind an unagi restaurant. Before each bite he would inhale the delicious smell coming from the restaurant and then put the plain rice into his mouth.

After a co...

How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?

Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.

What kind of eels can travel on land?

Wheels.

When an eel strikes your heel and severe pain you feel...

... That's a moray.

A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant...

Its called Eel-on Musk.

Trip to the aquarium joke

The other week I was in the aquarium having a whale of a time (pardon the pun). I saw sea horses, sharks, turtles, the whole shebang. But I couldn't wait to get to my favourite creature. I don't know why but I've always been fascinated by eels. I did a project on them in primary school and since the...

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A group of eels are chilling in the river...

When a full tuxedo comes drifting downstream.

Danny, the leader of the bunch, turns to his three pals.

"Holy shit guys, now's our chance!"

"Yeah!" says Tommy, "Let's get drunk!"

So Tommy threads himself through the pants of the tux in a U shape, forming a nice looking pai...

If you met an eel in a top hat...

...that would be Sir Eel.

(say it out loud)

I met the most interesting eel the other day. His name was Oscar Neale and he lived in a tiny wooden house.

They called him "Shack Eel O. Neale"

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

"It's a Moray."

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

What's Dean Martin's favorite eel?

That's a moray.

Death of an Eel

Little Johnny was 7 years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious.

He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to J...

sea

When you swim in the sea, and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.
When your eyes glass over and shine like you’ve broken your spine, that’s a moray.
The ambulance bells will ring, and they’ll ting
And you’ll siiiiing
“That’s a moray”
When the jaws open wide and there’s more teeth ...

I identify as an elongated fish.

People say I'm mentally eel.

That's the last time I eat seafood.

It made me feel a bit...eel.

What do you call a long, skinny fish wearing makeup and a suit of armor?

Pretty Sir Eel

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Two Marble Statues

There are these two beautiful marble statues on either side of a big open piazza. For centuries they have stood frozen, staring longingly into each other's eyes.

One day the gods look down upon them with pity and decide to grant them one hour of mortal life. The statues, overwhelmed with joy,...

What do you call a Jewish fish?

Isra-eel.

I just learned how to read Braille

I was always unsure, is it “Bray-eel-ay”? Maybe it’s “Brah-el”?

I just found out earlier it’s “Brale”

The more you know...

I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas.

There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed.

I have an uncle in Texas

He's a wealthy guy, made it big in oil. He recently decided to build a new pool for his house. Of course, being a Texan it couldn't be just any pool. He decided to build the biggest pool of anyone he knew. I don't know exactly how big it was, but it had to be at least a couple hundred yards long....

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One day a multi billionaire was bored, so he asked his butler to get him 3 men.

A few hours later the butler comes back. The man says "OK I've got a deal you can't refuse. Whoever can swim successfully across this pool filed with sharks, eels, and leeches may have whatever his heart desires."

No one replies so the man gives up.

All of a sudden the man hears a sp...

What was FDR's most famous maritime obscenity law?

The Nude Eel.

I think I met a medieval water snake

But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.

It was totally Sir Eel.

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
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