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Pizza Delivery Jokes

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both smell it, but not eat it.

What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.

TIL: if you push one pizza delivery man over, all the pizza delivery men fall over.

It's known as the domino's effect.

A blonde orders a pizza delivery over the phone.

"Would you like your pizza cut into eight pieces, or ten?" asks the voice on the other end.

"Eight, please," replies the blonde.

When the pizza comes, the blonde notices that the pizza has been mistakenly cut into ten pieces. "Hey!" she says. "I asked for my pizza to be cut into eight ...

I murdered the pizza delivery man for messing up my order and had to cover it up.

I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it’s starting to become a domino effect.

The Pizza Delivery Guy

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Mr.Smith. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Mr. Smith asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing ...

I asked the bank for a loan to open a "pizza delivery by drone" business.

They refused. Said my business case was just pie in the sky.

A new CEO takes over at a struggling company and decides to get rid of all the slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. He can't believe this guy would just stand around on the job. The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, "What are you doing here?" "I'm just waiting to get paid," responds the man. Furious, the CEO asks "H...

You murder one pizza delivery driver, and then you have to murder another pizza delivery driver.

That's the domino effect

Why is 2020 pizza delivery like my ex-girlfriend?

They both do no-contact orders!

Being a pizza delivery person and a comedian is hard work.

You have the right stuff, but sometimes you get the delivery wrong.

BTW, they fired me from my pizza delivery job.

Stop dreaming about pizza delivery by drone.

It's a pie-in-the-sky idea.

Here's another pizza delivery joke

Actually, you'll get it in 30-45 minutes.

How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

You take the pizza delivery sign off

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My nephew told me when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer.

I need to tell my bro to do a better job at hiding his porn.

What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist see every day?

The yeasty crust.

A pizza delivery guy walks into a bar

What? Did you think he was there to deliver pizza? Can't he want a drink once in a while?

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This is the last straw,I'm now divorcing my wife. At first,it was some drunken one night stand during business trip, then it was her boss, our pool guy, pizza delivery guy , her very own stepbrother and even my own best friend...

I just can't stop sucking cocks ..

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My son said that his teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. I asked what he picked.

"I either want to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer"
...................

I think the little bastard found my porn stash.

My girlfriend told me she would love me to be a pizza delivery guy

I asked her why and she said she wants a guy that comes in 30 minutes instead of 5.

A pizza delivery guy knocks on the door

Two men answer the door and invite him inside. They ask him if he wants to have a threesome. He replies, "just the tip please".

My pizza delivery guy asked me for a tip today

So I told him to always wash his hands after using the bathroom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I never tip the cute pizza delivery drivers and always complain that they're rude, even when they're nice...

That way, I know I'm fucking them.

If OP was a Pizza Delivery Driver, how much would he make?

Nothing because OP never delivers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New CEO

The board of directors at one company decided to hire new executive staff in order to increase the company's profits. The new CEO was a very tough guy who made it his mission to rid the company of slackers. One time he notices a guy in the hallway leaning against the wall picking his nose. As there ...

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A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.

A man on the floor in a factory stands, not doing any work.

CEO comes up and asks his salary.

The man replies - $1000

The CEO pulls out his wallet, gives the man $1,000 and says - here's your month salary. I pay people to work here. Get out and never come back !

The man l...

what did the domino's pizza delivery guy say to Satan?

The power of crust compels you.

Yesterday that guy screamed at me "Stay RIGHT THERE, PUT THOSE HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! DON't MovE!"

That pizza delivery guy took this distant payment thing very seriously

A little boy was jealous that his new born brother was getting all the attention of his family now so he decided to put poison on his mom's nipples.

Two days later, the mailman, a neighbor and the pizza delivery guy were found dead.

I'm done with dating sites

I'm only dating pizza delivery guys because at least I know they have a car, a job and, pizza

I vandalized an art major's car today.

Removing pizza delivery signs is surprisingly easy.

Don't make a decision before you have studied all its aspects ! Don't make a decision when you are angry !

An iron company manager, while touring the company noticed a young man leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached him and said softly, "How much is your salary?"

The young man was calm and surprised by the personal question.

He answered, "2500 dollars a month, sir...

A pizza man is delivering my pizza

I hear a knock on the door, so I say

"Who is it?"

The pizza guy replies

"The pizza delivery man"

I respond

"The pizza delivery man who?"

The pizza guy responds

"Come on kid! I have your pizza, and it's raining out here. Get the pizza already!"
...

CEO spots a man wandering in a factory

In a factory, A man standing on the floor, not doing any work and looking aimlessly.

CEO of that factory came and asked his salary.

Man replied "5000 sir"

CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000 and told him
"I pay people to work and not to waste time, This is your 3months sal...

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A father asks his 13year-old son what does he want to be when he grows up.

His son says "A pizza delivery guy or a plumber."



The dad says "Stop watching so much porn, son."

Someone knocked on my door

As I opened, I saw a pizza delivery guy with a large pepperoni pizza in his hand.

"You must be mistaken. I didn't order any pizza!", I said

"Yes, I know", he replied, "Your neighbor forgot his instagram password and wanted to show you what he's having for dinner!"

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World's best girlfriend

So a redneck and his buddy are sitting at a bar. "I have the greatest girlfriend in the world!" the redneck brags.

"Oh yeah?" says his buddy. "Why is that?"

"Well," says the redneck , "she told me she wanted to have sex like they do in porno movies."

"That's great!" says his bud...

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My sons school was having "career day". When he came home, he was complaining that there wasn't any information available in his fields of interest.

I said "what do you want to after high school?"

He replies "either be a pizza delivery man or a pool skimmer" ..........







I'm pretty sure the little shit found my porn stash.

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When I was about 14/15

I wanted to be a plumber, then I wanted to be a firefighter, then pizza delivery man,then I stopped watching porn.

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The new CEO of a factory comes in to work.

The new CEO of a factory comes into work, determined to turn things around. He sees a man standing on the floor of a factory, not doing any work.

He goes up to the man and asks, “What do you think you’re doing?”

The man shrugs and replies, “Just hanging around. Waiting to get paid.”...

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