A Buddhist priest walks into a pizzeria...

The pizza maker asks the priest “what can I get for you?”

The Buddhist, in a quiet voice, replies, “can you make me one with everything?”

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria...

A North American Elk walks into a pizzeria and sits at an empty table while he waits for the waiter. The waiter hands him a menu and the Elk ponders for a bit. He's not really in the mood for pizza, so he narrows it down to pasta. The Elk is finally ready to order, so he calls for the waiter. The wa...

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John owned a Pizzeria with his buddy Harry.

But John wasn't satisfied with only making pizza every day. He wanted to study and walk a different path in life. So he decided to get back to school.

He told his buddy Harry that he would go see a consultant to talk about which subjects he should study.

The next day he went to meet wi...

Buddha was feeling a little down about all the suffering, so he went to the local pizzeria for a boost of spirit.

He said to the chef, "make me one with everything."

Pizzerias are quite rich.

They got plenty of dough.

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Google buys local Pizzeria

“Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?”

“No sir, it's Google Pizza – we bought Gordon’s Pizza last month. Do you want your usual, sir?”

“My usual? You know me?”

“According to our caller ID data, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with cheese, sausage, peppero...

What do you call a pizzeria on a golf range?

Pizza Putt.

I stammered over the story of how I got fired from the Pizzeria.

I really messed up the delivery.

The mafia visited the local pizzeria for extortion money.

They wanted their piece of the pie.

What did the pizzeria owner say while having withdrawals?

Give me the dough, I KNEAD IT

The guy at my local pizzeria does tricks while he tosses the dough.

He’s so good he makes it look like a pizza cake.

Best way to answer a call: Mario's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic: Your Loss is Our Sauce

self.Jokes

A joke the owner of the pizzeria I work at told me while listening to Beethoven.

Why did Beethoven kill his chicken?
Because it wouldn't stop saying "Bach, Bach, Bach."

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There’s an unusual hospital

where one of the treatments involves the female nurses taking the male patients home and sleeping with them.

For most of the patients, the treatment is very effective. But one day, into the hospital comes an odd patient who has the word “Shorty” tattooed on his penis. None of the nurses want ...

Man, smartphones are great you can search up anything like:

1. How to make a pizza
2. How to put out a fire
3. Directions to the nearest pizzeria

What do you get when you eat spoiled Italian food?

Pizzeria!

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the toronto maple leafs were so bad at hockey the...

organization decided, 'ya know what, we got this group of guys here. great with their hands. lets just fuckin open a chain of pizzerias'.

Brilliant, I happened to be living in toronto at the time and wanted some za, called them for a plain cheez. & they couldnt deliver.

A man was searching for a specific pizza

A man was searching for a specific kind of pizza. He wanted to have a pizza that was folded in half before baking.
He searched for such a pizza around the world, until finally he heard of a pizzeria that served such pizzas, the pizzeria was located near a huge radio telescope.
Due to the r...

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I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet

because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'

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