UPJOKE
jupitersaturntritonsolar systemgas giantplanetsunmethaneorbitearthhydrogenheliumtelescopeplutoposeidon

Why does Neptune get all the girls?

Cuz he's the coolest

What kind of music do planets like?

Neptunes.

Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.

Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!"

To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My hot neighbor

I was excited when my hot neighbor said she would bring me something special last night, it turned out she wanted to gift me models for earth and neptune

She gave me blue balls and left

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What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?

I can see Uranus from here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Neptune made up of gas?

Because it is next to Uranus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system

Uranus is between them

What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gods on vacation

The gods were planning on where to spend their next vacations; Shiva suggested: "what about Neptune?", then Allah said: "It's too cold!"; Zeus then suggested: "Let's go to Mars!", then Buddha replied "Nah, we went there last time!". So someone spoke "What about Earth?", for God to reply: "no way, Ea...

What kind of song does the sun listen to?

A Neptune.

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

God: "The meek shall inherit... Neptune."

The Pope: "What happened to the Earth?"

God: "Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Air force colonel and delta operator head back stateside,

and they're waiting for their plane to arrive. Delta guy just wants to sleep, but the Colonel had several coffees, and to pass the time, suggests a game—“I’ll ask you a question, if you can’t answer, you owe me $5. You ask me a question, if I can’t answer, I owe you $500.” Operator stares blankly, t...

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

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