God: "The meek shall inherit... Neptune."

The Pope: "What happened to the Earth?"

God: "Funny, I was going to ask you the same thing!"

What kind of music do planets like?

Neptunes.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I must be Neptune,

Because I'm after Uranus.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why is Neptune made up of gas?

Because it is next to Uranus.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system

Uranus is between them

Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.

Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!"

To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What did Neptune say to Uranus while trying to get a date?

Thereโ€™re only gonna be 7 planets once Iโ€™m done with Uranus

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A scientist walks into a doctor's office to inquire about his fever.

The doctor asks the scientist to lay down and drop his pants, which the scientist does without question.

The doctor asks about the scientists field of work to which he replies "astronomy my dear boy". The doctor was overjoyed at this response as space had always interested him.


T...

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Gods on vacation

The gods were planning on where to spend their next vacations; Shiva suggested: "what about Neptune?", then Allah said: "It's too cold!"; Zeus then suggested: "Let's go to Mars!", then Buddha replied "Nah, we went there last time!". So someone spoke "What about Earth?", for God to reply: "no way, Ea...

What kind of song does the sun listen to?

A Neptune.

What type of music do astronauts love?

Neptunes!

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

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