So the Pope is having a conversation with Aliens from Mars.

Pope: "Do you know Jesus?"

Alien: "Oh, Jesus. Great guy. He comes to our planet twice every year."


Pope: "Every year?! It's about two millennia and we're still waiting for his second coming."

Alien: "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

Pope: "Chocolate?"

A...

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Curiosity killed them all!

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams and Bruno Mars Walk into a bar.

But they didn't planet that way.

Why are there no cats on mars?

Because curiosity killed them

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Why did SpaceX go to Mars?

Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.

Steve jobs and Bill Gates colonize Mars. What do they call the planet?

Planet of the Apps.

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

June 7th, 2019, the day the moon became a part of Mars

Thanks POTUS.

Is it too soon to joke about the mars rover?

There is way too many good puns for it to be a missed opportunity.

Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

Scientists now think cats originated on Mars. NASA was set to retrieve a specimen confirming this,

...but curiosity killed it.

I feel that if we send people to Mars, we should dismantle the old rovers for their technology.

Otherwise we’ll miss a hell of an Opportunity.

I thought making a pun about the mars rover would be appreciated

But since everyone is pressing F to pay respect it just means that it's a missed oppertunity

Did you know they tested the Mars rover against animal attacks?

They had to switch to dogs because Curiosity killed the cat.

Where are Muslims going to pray when they go to Mars?

Elon's Mosque

Our realationship is like the mars rover

It was meant to last 90 days but here I am 14 years later

Will there be 4G coverage on Mars?

Sadly it'll only be 0.4g.

I’ve been seeing this girl from Mars

We’re in a interspacial relationship.

Why did the astronaut give up on going to Mars?

Because there's no longer any Opportunity there.

we should stop making fun of the Americans for using inches, foot, miles, etc as units of measurements.

it's not like they crashed a rocket into Mars because of this or something... oh wait...

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One day people will land on Mars. Search for the rover, dust him off and give it the treatment it deserves.

A robo bro blow job.

Just heard NASA shutdown operations to the Mars rover.

Wasted opportunity!

If we find a dead feline on mars

We won’t be sure but Curiosity may have killed the cat

I want to pay respects to the Mars Rover that NASA lost contact with.

It's a missed Opportunity.

On Mars, the rover begins a new day by opening its solar panel to charge up when there's sunlight...

But this time it hits something.

The scientists are puzzled. There was nothing there when it last went to sleep. Anxious, they use the last of its energy turning its camera around. It was an Earth feline.

Curiosity killed a cat

Our new Space Force is exploring mars

The new Space Force has finally arrived at mars, and an exploration ship has been investigating the snow and ice covered North Pole area.

A field biologist excitedly rushes in to his general, and exclaims, “Sir, incredible news! We have discovered a strange, silicon-based form of life in the...

I want to go out like the Mars rover

Listening to sandstorm one last time

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Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

All the other genders are from Ur-Anus

They have found water on the mars...

Is Nestle already planning its own space program?

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Elon Musk has a plan to design electronic grass for Mars

He’s calling it an E-Lawn.

NASA officials were interviewing three prospective astronauts to sent to Mars on a dangerous one-way trip

Only one of the three would go, and that candidate would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first candidate, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid to go.

"One million dollars," replied the engineer, "and I want it donated to my alma mater, Rice University."

The inter...

They found a cat on mars...

A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

An astronomer has realized an ancient society has been writing jokes all over Mars, Venus, and other celestial bodies...

The astronomer, getting a huge laugh out of them, decided to record them down. The astronomer kept looking into space, and he kept finding gems that he couldn't stop laughing at. One day, having recorded over 100 jokes, he decided to publish all of them in a book, because the jokes were so funny and...

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If Elon Musk made love to a woman while on his rocket to Mars...

Would that be SpaceX space sex?

"We Do Not Have A Child Slave Colony On Mars."

They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.

India sends a cat to Mars

In a few years India will send a cat to Mars to check out if it is possible to survive in that environment.

After some adaptation the cat starts roaming around on Mars.

All is well until one fine day suddenly the cat is mashed under a vehicle of sorts.

Everyone is wondering w...

Mars: I'm wet...

NASA: I'm coming!

How does NASA check if there is life on mars?

They go there and see if “local girls in your area dying to meet you” ad pops up.

Travel to Mars

After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns...

What does Mars smell like?

Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it.

Did you hear about the man with a stutter who went to the shop for a mars bar?

He came back with 50 packs of m and m's

Did you hear about the restaurant on mars?

The food was amazing, but the atmosphere wasn’t that great.

Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.

They call it Mars.

I only started space exploration this week and already I've colonized Venus and Mars

V:e:n:u:s:a:n:d:M:a:r:s

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

Mars and NASA

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere

Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.


(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning, along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)

How do they organize a party on Mars?

They planet.

My five year old told me this today.

A Mars rover barged into my house. I knew it was Spirit

because Opportunity knocks.

Scientists are baffled by cat remains on Mars..

You can guess who killed them.

My friend at NASA told me he was very satisfied to discover a lake on Mars.

He told me it was always a wet dream of his.

Budweiser starts a collaboration with SpaceX to be the first beer on Mars

I can already see the headlines...
"Colonist discovers water on Mars!"

I'm such a bad golfer, they should send me to Mars.

I'm guaranteed to find water.

I really hope someone brings their cat to Mars only to get it get run over

So we can finally say Curiosity killed the cat.

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A married couple goes to Mars

A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things.

Finally, the subject of sex comes up.

"Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling.

"Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the...

News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring.

Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat.

What do you call it when you get your Mars rover stuck in a crater?

A fourth world problem.

Mars magnetic field is increasing for the first time in millions of years

For a total of one Tesla!

The US Government will be very supportive of NASA's efforts to put humans on Mars.

The only thing NASA has to do is declare war on Mars!

I told Elon Musk a joke about mars...

he said it was terable.

People say Mars is neutral waters

but last time I checked it was a *red state*

So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...

...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.

During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.

"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask...

By launching a Tesla to Mars Space X has accomplished the primary goal of the Boring Company.

Avoiding LA traffic!

Earth, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter were going to setup a party

But they failed because nobody knew how to planet

NASA should tell the US government they found oil on Mars

And then watch the funding skyrocket

How far is Mars from Earth?

A few CVS receipts away

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NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.

Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today...

The solar system would need more planets for the title.

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Men are from Mars. A Joke for the long Monday ahead.

http://austin.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/60286784.html source

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with ...

I heard they found water on Mars...

I bet California is pretty jealous.

The year 2050: "Hey honey, want to go to mars today?"

Nah, I don't like the atmosphere.

Why is it not a good idea to send cats to Mars?

Because Curiosity would kill them!

Yo momma's privates are like Mars...

It took a team of scientists decades to find moisture on it.

Chocolate, icecream, cookies, mars bars, doritos, popcorn, milky ways, kit kats and lays!

i wrote this joke to reach a wider audience.

NASA says they've found organic material on Mars...

...but they're probably just putting 'organic ' on the label so they can mark up the prices by 200%

We've sent multiple rovers too mars but mars hasn't sent any back.

It's about time we play red rover with another planet

BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

NASA is planning another rover for Mars in 2020

They should call it Hindsight

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