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Isaac Newton Jokes

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A boy and his teacher

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 2.
The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 8.
I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 8".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.
The principal decided to test the boy with...

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Isaac Newton died a virgin

The man who discovered gravity didnt even go down

Isaac Newton: *slaps roof of car*

Car roof: *slaps Isaac Newton*

Isaac Newton: "Gravity exists"

*drops mic*

Isaac newton, pascal, and Einstein are playing hide and seek.

They decide that Einstein is to count. He closes his eyes and slowly starts to count to ten. Pascal immediately takes off and hides behind a tree. Sir Isaac Newton calmly crouches down and draws a 1*1 meter square on the ground, and then steps onto it.

When Einstein finishes counting, he imme...

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and sa...

Isaac Newton liked them thicc

He said "The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction."

Why didn't Isaac Newton dodge the apple?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Sir Isaac Newton walks into his office…

And says.. ..I like them thicc af.

…But Sir, we can’t say that!

Sir Isaac Newton: Then say this “ The greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction.”

Sir Isaac Newton was completely WRONG about apples

They don't fall to the ground because of gravity.

It's natural selection.

Trees that produce apples that fall upwards don't have offspring

Sir Isaac Newton was sitting under an apple tree pondering as to why things always fell to the ground…

And then it hit him.

An apple falls on Isaac Newton's head

He shakes his fist at the sky and says, "There should be a law!"

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isaac newton died a virgin.

This means that i have a 1 up on one of history's greatest scientific geniuses. Im not dead

What would you call Isaac Newton if he were a dog?

Isaac Snooton

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Why did Isaac Newton die a virgin?

Because he respected girls’ limits

What is Isaac Newton's favorite TV show?

Gravity Falls

Did you know that Isaac Newton was actually Canadian?

He had to have been. He proved that F=M, eh.

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

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My friend told me I was smart enough to be the next Isaac Newton...

Well Newton died a lonely virgin so clearly I'm doing something right

Two factory workers talking: Woman

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”


Two factory workers talking...

Sir Isaac Newton dies

Everybody: ma

If Isaac Newton were alive today.

I think his favorite song would have been "Fat bottomed girls", by Queen.

He was the type of guy who could appreciate being attracted to large masses.

How did Isaac Newton formalize calculus?

He went out on a lim.

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek in heaven..

It was Einstein's turn to find them.

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."

"As...

Why do I think Sir Isaac Newton was such a chill guy?

I don't know, he just seemed pretty down-to-Earth to me.

Isaac Newton in court

"He hit me equally as hard back your honor!"

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Who was the first Jedi?

Isaac Newton, he's the one who discovered the Force.

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What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Repost.

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When I was a little kid my father told me that I'm gonna be like Isaac Newton

How the fuck did he know that I'm gonna die virgin?

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Werner Heisenberg, Georg Ohm, Galileo Galilei, Max Planck, and Louis de Broglie were carpooling to work...

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

I had a party for the worlds greatest historical figures, here are their RSVPs

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Marie Curie: "I am radiating enthusiasm."

Ivan Pavlov: "I'm positively drooling at the thought."

Albert Einstein: "It will ...

If you have semi good knowledge of science this might be funny to you.

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek. Albert was seeking, Newton and Pascal were hiding. When Albert goes out to seek he finds Isaac outside where he has drawn a square around himself. Albert asks Newton "What kind of hiding place is that Newton?" and Newton rep...

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A joke written by the AI, ChatGPT

The sky above the port was the color of a moldy jellyfish, a sickly green that made everyone below feel nauseous. But a group of rebellious clowns, led by the hapless hero Isaac Newton, had a plan to bring some joy to the dreary sky. Using a circus tent and a lot of helium, they intended to lift the...

Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe.

Happy Birthday Isaac Newton.

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