Isaac Newton: *slaps roof of car*

Car roof: *slaps Isaac Newton*

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A boy and his teacher

A female class teacher was having a problem with a boy in her class in Grade 2.
The boy said, "Madam, I should be in Grade 8.
I am smarter than my sister & she's in Grade 8".

The Madam had heard enough and took the boy to the principal.
The principal decided to test the boy with...

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and sa...

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Isaac Newton died a virgin.

That means I have one up on history's greatest scientific genius.

Because I'm not dead.

Isaac Newton would be spinning in his grave

But gravity won't let him

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When I was a little kid my father told me that I'm gonna be like Isaac Newton

How the fuck did he know that I'm gonna die virgin?

An apple falls on Isaac Newton's head

He shakes his fist at the sky and says, "There should be a law!"

Given Isaac Newton's links to the slave trade,

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

Sir Isaac Newton dies

Everybody: ma

When asked about the greatest of all his amazing accomplishments, Sir Isaac Newton cited the discovery of gravity.

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

Isaac newton, pascal, and Einstein are playing hide and seek.

They decide that Einstein is to count. He closes his eyes and slowly starts to count to ten. Pascal immediately takes off and hides behind a tree. Sir Isaac Newton calmly crouches down and draws a 1*1 meter square on the ground, and then steps onto it.

When Einstein finishes counting, he imme...

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My friend told me I was smart enough to be the next Isaac Newton...

Well Newton died a lonely virgin so clearly I'm doing something right

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek in heaven..

It was Einstein's turn to find them.

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."


What is Isaac Newton's favorite TV show?

Gravity Falls

Why didn't Isaac Newton dodge the apple?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Werner Heisenberg, Georg Ohm, Galileo Galilei, Max Planck, and Louis de Broglie were carpooling to work...

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

Why do I think Sir Isaac Newton was such a chill guy?

I don't know, he just seemed pretty down-to-Earth to me.

How did Isaac Newton formalize calculus?

He went out on a lim.

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Albert Einstein, Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Two factory workers talking: Woman

Physics Teacher: “Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Student: “Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn’t have discovered anything.”

Two factory workers talking...

Isaac Newton in court

"He hit me equally as hard back your honor!"

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

Why was the man who discovered gravity respected?

Because Isaac Newton(s) of things!

Who was the first Jedi?

Isaac Newton, he's the one who discovered the Force.

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What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.


If you have semi good knowledge of science this might be funny to you.

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal were playing hide and seek. Albert was seeking, Newton and Pascal were hiding. When Albert goes out to seek he finds Isaac outside where he has drawn a square around himself. Albert asks Newton "What kind of hiding place is that Newton?" and Newton rep...

Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe.

Happy Birthday Isaac Newton.

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