Why are asteroids vegetarians?

Because they aren't meteors.

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid?

"It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and his friend are sitting on a sofa having a few beers. Guy #1 - “What would you do if we found out an asteroid was going to hit the earth in one hour?”

Guy #2 - “I would fuck the first thing that moved. What would you do?”

Guy #1 - “I’d sit very fucking still for the next hour!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week, an asteroid named 2019 OK passed close to Earth at a speed of 88,500 kilometres (55,000 mi) per hour.

Scientist say that if it had passed even closer its name would have been 2019 OFUCK.

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

New article about an asteroid colliding with Earth

I couldn't read it... Hits too close to home.

There was an asteroid impact event in the neighborhood town. I went to see the spectacle.

I saw a glowing green celestial stone inside the impact crater. As I was moving towards it, I became all gloomy and suicidal that's when I heard a man shouting

"Mate! You are in a depression"

You hear about the new fruit spread with tiny pieces of asteroid in it.

I believe it's called space jam.

An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher ...

What is the difference between an asteroid and a meatball?

One is meteor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nasa just declared an apocalyptic asteroid is reaching earth in 10 minutes.

Melania: So what do we do?

Donald : Sex?

Melania: What about the remaining 8 minutes?

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Wouldn't it be more fitting if it was asteroids, I mean think about it instead of being a proctologist you would be a astronaut.

What type of dinosaurs roamed the Mediterranean before the asteroid hit?

Falafel Raptors.

(sorry)

Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal?

Because she was scared of comet-ment

I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him.

His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment.

Your mother is so fat...

She wears the asteroid belt to keep her pants up.

What do you call a physically enhancing drug that comes from space?

Asteroid.

Why was Jupiter banned from competing in the planetary boxing match?

He took asteroids.

In the year 2030,

In the year 2030, space travel was expanding more than ever, and life science was seeing new revolutions every few weeks. Inventions in robotics and engineering were being created almost daily. But this new world came with a downside, the amount of harsh chemicals in the air were causing cancer to d...

What do astronauts use to enhance their performance?

Asteroids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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