Asteroid Jokes - 32 Hilarious Asteroid Jokes

Why are asteroids vegetarians?

Because they aren't meteors.

They say the asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.

You could say it killed many birds with one stone.

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

NASA's DART spacecraft successfully slams into asteroid.

Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars.

What's the difference between a spacecraft and an asteroid?

A spacecraft is really light, an asteroid is a little meteor.

New article about an asteroid colliding with Earth

I couldn't read it... Hits too close to home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An astronomy teacher prepared two boxes filled with joke cards. The first box was designed with asteroids and the second one with comets. He then let one of this students pick a box...

The student picked the one designed with asteroids. He pick one card and read the joke out loud to the class. The class, however, doesn't find the joke funny. Seeing this, the professor made the student pick another card on the same box. Same thing happened. The confused student look at his teacher ...

Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal?

Because she was scared of comet-ment

The asteroid event that ended dinosaurs

was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone

What did the black hole say after it swallowed an asteroid?

"It was good, but I wish it been a little meteor."

You hear about the new fruit spread with tiny pieces of asteroid in it.

I believe it's called space jam.

I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him.

His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment.

An Asteroid Measuring 1,600 Meters Is Headed Straight Towards Earth.

That's quite the milestone!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and his friend are sitting on a sofa having a few beers. Guy #1 - “What would you do if we found out an asteroid was going to hit the earth in one hour?”

Guy #2 - “I would fuck the first thing that moved. What would you do?”

Guy #1 - “I’d sit very fucking still for the next hour!”

Why did the asteroid quit his job and move to LA?

He wanted to be a stand-up comet.

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

Do vegetarians prefer moons or asteroids?

Moons, because asteroids are are a little meteor.

(Made up for my kids today)
#dadjoke #sorry

What's a bodybuilder's favorite arcade game?

"Ass-steroids." [(Asteroids)](https://youtu.be/_TKiRvGfw3Q)

Why was Jupiter banned from competing in the planetary boxing match?

He took asteroids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

There was an asteroid impact event in the neighborhood town. I went to see the spectacle.

I saw a glowing green celestial stone inside the impact crater. As I was moving towards it, I became all gloomy and suicidal that's when I heard a man shouting

"Mate! You are in a depression"

Your mother is so fat...

She wears the asteroid belt to keep her pants up.

Why are they called Hemorrhoids?

Because Asteroids was already taken

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

In the year 2030,

In the year 2030, space travel was expanding more than ever, and life science was seeing new revolutions every few weeks. Inventions in robotics and engineering were being created almost daily. But this new world came with a downside, the amount of harsh chemicals in the air were causing cancer to d...

I just learned that "Space Rock" is a genre, and is slightly disappointing,

that no one just called it "Asteroid"

What do you call a physically enhancing drug that comes from space?

Asteroid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you use if you want a thicc and muscular butt in space?

Asteroids

When I first heard about the death of the dinosaurs, a few things about it hit me real hard.

Thankfully it wasn't the asteroid.

I started the biggest rock band in the galaxy.

We're called the Asteroid Belt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last week, an asteroid named 2019 OK passed close to Earth at a speed of 88,500 kilometres (55,000 mi) per hour.

Scientist say that if it had passed even closer its name would have been 2019 OFUCK.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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