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Apollo Jokes

What do you get when the sun god says he's sorry?

An Apollo-gy

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?”

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old...

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

# This comment deleted to protest Reddit's API change (to reduce the value of Reddit's data).

Please see [these](https://web.archive.org/web/20230609092523/https://old.reddit.com/r/apolloapp/comments/144f6xm/apollo_will_close_down_on_june_30th_reddits/) [threads](https://web.archive.org/web/2...

Why is Apollo’s sister so easy to find?

Because she’s Hard-temis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call Apollo's penis?

Sunny D.

Bar Psychic

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.

They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.

It was a herd shot round the world.

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

What’s the difference between NASA and Reddit?

NASA really wanted the Apollo program to succeed

So the Apollo missions found insects on the moon.

Lunatics

Why was the Greek God Apollo named that?

Because he was a chicken

What do you call a Mexican space chicken?

Apollo.

Did you know that on the way to the Moon the Apollo 11 crew heard rock music coming from outside?

Mission Control confirmed they were passing through the Van Halen belts.

The Apollo mission crew planted an American flag on the moon, but UV radiation has since turned it completely white,

So now it’s a French flag.

If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called?

Apollo G

Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

Why did Apollo 11 take off during full moon?

Its an easier target.

------
Yes. Its incredibly lame.

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space

Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say

White flags

The American flags planted on the Moon by the Apollo astronauts have been exposed to high levels of UV rays for decades. This has bleached them pure white.

So now it looks like the French landed there.

The God of the Sun has burnt millions and millions of people...

... But that's ok, because he Apollo-gized.

At work they gave us cookies to remember the Apollo 11 launch.

I can't wait for the Apollo 1 memorial BBQ!

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Good luck, Mr. Gorsky

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-...

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Landing on the Moon

In 1969, in the months leading up to the Moon landing, the Apollo 11 astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. One day as they were training, the astronauts came across an old Native American.


‘What are you doing here?’ the old man asked.


‘We...

You can't spell pacifist without...

Long live 3PA. Long live Apollo!
P.S. Steve Huffman is a clown.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a celestial Greek dairy product?

Apollo cheese for the punchline.

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A greek and an Irish were comparing their heritages.

"We built the pantheon, along with the Temple of Apollo", said the Greek.

"Aye, 'twas the Irish the discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices", replied the Irish.

"But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics."

"Granted, but was the Irish who built the first tim...

What shirt does the astronaut wear?

Apollo

If the moon landing was indeed fake

NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.

I told my girlfriend I loved her to the Moon and back.

Luckily, I was boarding Apollo 11.

8 years ago Neil Armstrong died, such a loss for mankind.

My Apollo-gies to his family.

Canada just announced that they are launching their first manned space shuttle next year.

They are calling it the Apollo-G.

What do astronauts do after they have done something wrong?

They are very apollo-getic.

Arm wrestle

I challenged one of the Apollo 11 crew to an arm wrestle.
In hindsight I should have chosen Aldrin, or Collins

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button?

I apollo-gize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a winged magical fairy visits Rome ....

The fairy flies around a bit among the tourists before stopping in front of two classical and gorgeous greek statues placed beside each other - one being a scantily clad and muscled Apollo and the other beautiful and busty Aphrodite, the goddess of love and sex.

The fairy looks on these two b...

What does an astronaut say when he's sorry?

All my Apollo-gies.

There's a doping scandal at the Rio de Janeiro Paralympics involving the Russians.

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

Hippocrates and the Prophet

Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.

A message to the moon

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits....

Space Joke

What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly....


Guys, we really Apollo-gize

I'm not saying...

Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.

According to Hesiod version, Orion was likely the son of the sea-god Poseidon and Euryale.

Orion could walk on the waves because of his father; he walked to the island of Chios where he got drunk and attacked Merope, daughter of Oenopion, the ruler there. In vengeance, Oenopion blinded Orion and drove him away. Orion stumbled to Lemnos where Hephaestus—the smith-god—had his forge. Hephaes...

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So there’s this guy, and it’s his first time in New York..

..and like any tourist in New York for the first time, he wants to do something special. Memorable.

So he decides to go to the top of the World Trade Center (this is an older joke) to this famous bar to have a couple of beers and check out what must surely be, a gorgeous view.

As soon ...

A bunch of Hollywood celebrities formed two baseball teams...

...to raise money for a charity.

The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.

The match started, and the two teams, "The...

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