UPJOKE
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Why is Apollo’s sister so easy to find?

Because she’s Hard-temis.

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project..

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "Wha...

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

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What do you call Apollo's penis?

Sunny D.

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

At work they gave us cookies to remember the Apollo 11 launch.

I can't wait for the Apollo 1 memorial BBQ!

What do you get when the sun god says he's sorry?

An Apollo-gy

So the Apollo missions found insects on the moon.

Lunatics

Did you know that on the way to the Moon the Apollo 11 crew heard rock music coming from outside?

Mission Control confirmed they were passing through the Van Halen belts.

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Landing on the Moon

In 1969, in the months leading up to the Moon landing, the Apollo 11 astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. One day as they were training, the astronauts came across an old Native American.


‘What are you doing here?’ the old man asked.


‘We...

Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

The Apollo mission crew planted an American flag on the moon, but UV radiation has since turned it completely white,

So now it’s a French flag.

Why was the Greek God Apollo named that?

Because he was a chicken

You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.

They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.

It was a herd shot round the world.

Why did Apollo 11 take off during full moon?

Its an easier target.

------
Yes. Its incredibly lame.

My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space

Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say

White flags

The American flags planted on the Moon by the Apollo astronauts have been exposed to high levels of UV rays for decades. This has bleached them pure white.

So now it looks like the French landed there.

If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called?

Apollo G

What do you call a Mexican space chicken?

Apollo.

A message to the moon

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo moon mission took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the Lunar surface. Along with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full Lunar spacesuits....

The God of the Sun has burnt millions and millions of people...

... But that's ok, because he Apollo-gized.

If the moon landing was indeed fake

NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.

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A greek and an Irish were comparing their heritages.

"We built the pantheon, along with the Temple of Apollo", said the Greek.

"Aye, 'twas the Irish the discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices", replied the Irish.

"But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics."

"Granted, but was the Irish who built the first tim...

What do you get when you cross a joke with a celestial Greek dairy product?

Apollo cheese for the punchline.

8 years ago Neil Armstrong died, such a loss for mankind.

My Apollo-gies to his family.

Hippocrates and the Prophet

Tiresias, blind prophet of Apollo, once went to Hippocrates with a serious case of depression. In no time, Hippocrates had figured it out -- "Aha!" said he; "an imbalance of black bile!" He bled the excess melancholia into an urn and handed it to the prophet. Tiresias did not see the humour.

Canada just announced that they are launching their first manned space shuttle next year.

They are calling it the Apollo-G.

What do astronauts do after they have done something wrong?

They are very apollo-getic.

Arm wrestle

I challenged one of the Apollo 11 crew to an arm wrestle.
In hindsight I should have chosen Aldrin, or Collins

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What did the astronaut say to the other when he pressed the wrong button?

I apollo-gize.

A bunch of Hollywood celebrities formed two baseball teams...

...to raise money for a charity.

The day of the match arrived and everyone was ready. The celebrities were dressed in their outfits, some practising their throws and catches, others practising their swing. Russell Crowe was selected to umpire.

The match started, and the two teams, "The...

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So there’s this guy, and it’s his first time in New York..

..and like any tourist in New York for the first time, he wants to do something special. Memorable.

So he decides to go to the top of the World Trade Center (this is an older joke) to this famous bar to have a couple of beers and check out what must surely be, a gorgeous view.

As soon ...

What does an astronaut say when he's sorry?

All my Apollo-gies.

I'm not saying...

Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.

I told my girlfriend I loved her to the Moon and back.

Luckily, I was boarding Apollo 11.

Space Joke

What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly....


Guys, we really Apollo-gize

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