Olives Jokes

The mother takes an olive, puts it in her mouth, goes, "mmmmm...", the daughter tries one for the first time, goes "ewww...", mother eats another, again, goes "mmmm...", her daughter tries yet another, then begins to cry. Her mother asks, "why are you crying", her daughter says "you're getting all t... read more

Two olives are sitting on a table.
Olive #1: rolls to the end of the table and falls off
Olive #2: yells from the top of the table “are you ok?”
Olive #1: “I’m a little bit sore but olive”

not olive the time

Don't even get me started on baby oil

Greece’s Pieces

He orders a Martini, takes out the olive, puts it on the table and drinks it. Then he orders another one, again taking out the olive and drinking the Martini. And again, and again, and again…

At the tenth Martini, the bartender becomes curious and asks: “Why are you always taking out the oliv... read more

A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.

"Well," said a ... read more

Quarantini

Putinesca

They were pitted against each other.

One falls to the ground. The one still on the counter, out of genuine concern, yells down, "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

The one on the ground rolls over, quickly checks himself and replies,

"OLIVE"

Dish Soap.

(I'll wait)

I told her it’s because I didn’t eat olive them.

As they are rolling and playing one of the olives get squished. In complete shock the one olive says, "are you okay?!?" The squished friend says, "olive!"

There's a big olive and a little one. The little olive falls off the edge. The big olive looks down in the ravine and shouts, "are you alright?" He hears the little olive faintly say, "olive."

It's on my baguette list....

Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, Vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.