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Colored Jokes

A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printers were.

I said, "Dude, it's 2021, you can use any printer you want."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black man walks into a restaurant..

There is a huge sign on wall that says "Colored People Not Allowed."

The man takes a seat and a white man comes over in a hurry and says, " Excuse me son, we don't serve colored people in this restaurant. Im going to have to ask you to leave."

The black man smiles, looks at the white m...

The largest condom factory in the States burned down.

President Trump was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of ...

Colored Sailors

A ship loaded with blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint.
Both ships sink.
The Sailors were marooned.

Why did the redneck get colored pencils before he got his flu shot?

He heard that vaccines can make you artistic.

What did Pete Townsend say when Roger Daltrey told him that he'd lost his favorite old lime-colored belt?

"Relax. It's only a green, aged, waistband."

The vacation in Thailand

Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought ...

Someone colored all over the southeast part of my world map

That was just downright rude!

I ate a rainbow-colored Altoid

It was bi-curiously strong.

What is skin-colored, bouncy and sometimes blue?

My balls.

I hate colored pencils.

I'd rather dye than use them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"We don't serve colored people here."

"That's alright, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken."

RIP Dick Gregory

What's colored and looks good hanging from a tree...

Christmas ornaments.

My wife said she thinks she saw people with blue-colored skin

I told her "It's just a pigment of your imagination"

One sunny day, 8-year old Théo and his 3-year-old sister Cele sat down at a table on the lanai of their rustic French manse, with some paper and colored pencils...

...Théo was showing Cele how to draw. Théo was drawing animals, flowers, clouds with lightning coming out of them, dinosaurs, race cars, whatever popped into his head. Cele was thoroughly entertained, and kept making requests:

"Bunny!"

"Croissant!

"Airplane!"

Finally, Thé...

Me: excuse me ma'am, does this library have a colored printer I could use?

Librarian: sir, it's 2020. You can use any of the printers here.

There's a country where all cars are required by law to be rose-colored.

It's a pink car nation.

The other day, I walked into my barber shop, and, much to my surprise, saw Matthew McConaughey sitting in a chair at the end of the row.

His hair was covered with the kind of foil that suggested he was getting it colored.


"Mr. McConaughey," I said, a little star-struck. "Are you getting your hair colored?"


"Aw, absolutely," he said in his signature drawl. "Matter of fact, I get my hair colored every two wee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy walk into a bar...

The bartender says "Get the fuck out of here!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a guy who claimed his jizz was rainbow colored

I asked him how that felt, to which he responded:

“I can’t complain”

My cousin has dark hair. His wife is blonde. All four of their kids have light colored hair.

Genetically speaking, there's a 15 in 16 chance that she's cheating.

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition: who could render a knot out of a multi-colored suit-tie the fastest. They went on, waited in line, and eventually competed against each other, however in the end they all had the same time.
...

A guy walks into a Kinkos and asks, "Do you have any colored printers?"

To which the clerk responds, "It's 2016 man. You can use any printer you want."

If Batman wears kevlar armor and a bulletproof cape, why does Robin have to wear a bright-colored spandex outfit?

For the same reason: Batman doesn't like getting shot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, a Catholic and a Colored boy go to heaven.

They get to the pearly gates and are surrounded by clocks. So the Jew asks St. Peter " Yo Pete what's up with all these clocks?" St. Peter looks over his tri focal glasses and says" Every time you masturbate the clock goes around once, yours is right over there. It goes around about once a week."...

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

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