This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today.

He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my weed the Quran...

Because burning tht shit’ll get you stoned

An ISIS member was performing...

An ISIS member was performing a routine traffic stop looking for infidels, and stopped the car of a Christian couple. “Are you Muslim?” asked the ISIS member. “Yes,” replied the Christian man, “I’m Muslim.”
The ISIS member says, “If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.” The Christian m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a jew, a muslim, and a christian walk into a bar.

the bartender asks the christian what he'll have. and the christian says he'll have a bible. and the bartender asks what it is. and the christian says "oh it's a scotch with cinnamon"

and then the bartender asks what the muslim will have. and the muslim says he'll have a quran. and the barten...

A Muslim Imam, after years of adherence to the Quran, begins to wonder what pork taste like...

He confesses this temptation to his wife who reaffirms that pork is strictly forbidden by their faith.



One evening, however, he gives in to his curiosity and buys a pulled pork slider on his way back from work. He finds a quiet bench in a nearby park and prepares to take a bite of his...

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

What is the square root of the Quran?

Radical Islam.

A long time ago, in the middle east

There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.

Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in pub...

Why are Muslim youth the best at dealing with pandemics?

Because as a Quran-Teen, you always keep Allah by your self.

I have a bag with a crucifix, Buddha, and the Quran inside.

Is this sacrilegious?

I have the Quran on CD...

People sure are getting upset when I said I burned it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was pulled over by a terrorist

The terrorist said " If you are not Islam, you will die"

The man raised his hands and said "I am a muslim"

The terrorist then shouted "Prove it, recite a verse from the Quran"

The man recited "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given t...

What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus?

Because he was a Quran Teen.

I was so fortunate that a Muslim family was able to take me in when Social Isolation when into effect.

Now I am in Quran-tine.

Sorry, slightly anti-religious.

A man is testifying in court and has to testify.

He says "I testify on the Holy Book of Lies."

The Judge walks out and a couple of minutes later walks in with the Torah, the Bible, and the Quran.

He says "Which one?"

What kind of weed do muslims smoke?

Quranic

A Pakistani cleric issued a new fatwa that orders you to stay in your homes and study the scriptures.

As expected, they're calling it the *Quran*tine.

ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.

ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy: Are you moslem?
Christian: Yes I am.
ISIS guy: Recite a verse from Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from Bible.
ISIS guys: Yallah-ho-snackbar, you can go.

Later Christian guy's wife: I can't believe you too...

Congratulations to the #1 best selling fiction novel!

Barely in front of the Bible, the Holy Quran makes it to the top this year!

The pope dies and gets met by Jesus at the gates of heaven.

As they step inside, a ferarri pulls up and a man in red robes steps out with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Shocked at such impropriety from a Cardinal, the pope asks Jesus what is going on.

"Oh," says Jesus, "he was a pious, celibate man his whole life, so dad gave him the opportuni...

The first day of Richard Dawkins as a librarian

He walks to a senior librarian: "Excuse me, I am new here, could you help me solve one problem? I have Bible, Quran and Torah, but I am not sure which book belongs to the sci-fi section, which to the fantasy section and which one to the horror section."

What was the name of Iran’s first 80’s cover band ?

Quran Quran

There is a new virus which only affects Muslims.Where do they put the infected?

In the Quran-tine room!

What do you call the fruit of Islam?

Quran-berries

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.