Quran Jokes - 22 Hilarious Quran Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today.

He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy.

The Bible and the Quran tell us to love each other

The Kamasutra is more specific.

An ISIS member was performing...

An ISIS member was performing a routine traffic stop looking for infidels, and stopped the car of a Christian couple. “Are you Muslim?” asked the ISIS member. “Yes,” replied the Christian man, “I’m Muslim.”
The ISIS member says, “If you are a Muslim, then recite a verse of Quran.” The Christian m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I call my weed The Quran.

Because burning that shit will get you stoned!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar

A Jew, Muslim and Christian are in a bar. They are arguing about which religion is the best at recruiting new followers. In the end they all decide to each go into the woods over the week and find a bear. They are then to try and convert that bear to their religion.
A week goes by and they all me...

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

I have the Quran on CD...

People sure are getting upset when I said I burned it.

What is the square root of the Quran?

Radical Islam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was pulled over by a terrorist

The terrorist said " If you are not Islam, you will die"

The man raised his hands and said "I am a muslim"

The terrorist then shouted "Prove it, recite a verse from the Quran"

The man recited "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given t...

What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak ?

They stay in Quran-tine

ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.

ISIS guy stopped the car of Christian couple.
ISIS guy: Are you moslem?
Christian: Yes I am.
ISIS guy: Recite a verse from Quran.
Christian man recited a verse from Bible.
ISIS guys: Yallah-ho-snackbar, you can go.

Later Christian guy's wife: I can't believe you too...

What kind of weed do muslims smoke?

Quranic

I have a bag with a crucifix, Buddha, and the Quran inside.

Is this sacrilegious?

Why are Muslim youth the best at dealing with pandemics?

Because as a Quran-Teen, you always keep Allah by your self.

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus?

Because he was a Quran Teen.

Sorry, slightly anti-religious.

A man is testifying in court and has to testify.

He says "I testify on the Holy Book of Lies."

The Judge walks out and a couple of minutes later walks in with the Torah, the Bible, and the Quran.

He says "Which one?"

I was so fortunate that a Muslim family was able to take me in when Social Isolation when into effect.

Now I am in Quran-tine.

My Muslim friend is so religious...

... he can read the Quran back to front

There is a new virus which only affects Muslims.Where do they put the infected?

In the Quran-tine room!

What do you call the fruit of Islam?

Quran-berries

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Muslim , a Jew and a Christian stood on the sides of Vatican entrance...

An Arab dressing as a Muslim man stood at the Vatican gate with a few Quran books and leaflets about Islam to sell. There was a flag with Islamic words behind him.

Just next to him, stood an Arab dressing as a Jewish with few books of Torah to be sold. There was a flag with Hebrew words behin...

The pope dies and gets met by Jesus at the gates of heaven.

As they step inside, a ferarri pulls up and a man in red robes steps out with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Shocked at such impropriety from a Cardinal, the pope asks Jesus what is going on.

"Oh," says Jesus, "he was a pious, celibate man his whole life, so dad gave him the opportuni...

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