Jimmy Carr was complaining that he had no mode of transport after a freak accident with a truck carrying dry fruits wrecked his Jaguar.

It was Carr's Rant on a car to rent cause his current car was rent by a currant current

What did the journalist say when the news broke of the gooseberries cheating on each other?

This is a sad state of currant affairs.

Did you see the new method invented to dry berries?

I thought I'd keep everyone updated on currant events.

I was visiting a jam factory the other day,

They asked me if I had heard of any of the new techniques being used to grow berries. I told them that I wasn't up to date on my currant events.

My dad drowned while at work in a vat of cake mix

I know it sounds unlikely but there were some very strong currants

Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli?

He was pulled under by a strong currant

Just went to the supermarket and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas

I can't believe the currant exchange rate.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a hotels bar and sees an obviously very rich man sitting at the bar...

So he walks up to the guy sits down next to him orders a drink and casually strikes up a conversation. He eventually steers the increasingly drunk rich man to a conversation about ridiculous bets. And on that subject he bets the rich man $7,000,000 that he can jump out of the window in the 14th floo...

Where can you find information about raisins that commit adultery?

Currant Affairs

I've got 40 raisins in my savings account

...oh no wait, that's my currant account.

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