Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli?

He was pulled under by a strong currant

Jimmy Carr was complaining that he had no mode of transport after a freak accident with a truck carrying dry fruits wrecked his Jaguar.

It was Carr's Rant on a car to rent cause his current car was rent by a currant current

What did the journalist say when the news broke of the gooseberries cheating on each other?

This is a sad state of currant affairs.

Wait, you didn’t hear about the terrorist attack on the Dried Fruits and Nuts convention?

I guess you don’t follow currant events.

Did you see the new method invented to dry berries?

I thought I'd keep everyone updated on currant events.

I've just been to the shops and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate!

I was visiting a jam factory the other day,

They asked me if I had heard of any of the new techniques being used to grow berries. I told them that I wasn't up to date on my currant events.

My dad drowned while at work in a vat of cake mix

I know it sounds unlikely but there were some very strong currants

Where can you find information about raisins that commit adultery?

Currant Affairs

I've got 40 raisins in my savings account

...oh no wait, that's my currant account.

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