What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin.

Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!

You know they say orange is the new black

I guess that's why Trump is president

What do you get when rubbing two oranges together

Pulp friction

I had a dream last night where I was drowning in an ocean made from orange soda...

It took me a while to figure out that it was a Fanta sea.

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange"...

I said: "No it doesn't"

What do you call it when the Annoying Orange tells lies?

Pulp Fiction

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Lulu was a prostitute, but didn't want her grandmother to know.

One day, the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel, and Lulu was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes lined up along the driveway when suddenly, Lulu"s grandma came by and saw her grandaughter. Grandma asked, "why are you standing in lin...

What is orange, about 70 years old, has caused enormous damage to the environment, and is a great embarrassment to the US?

Agent orange, duh.

My buddy told me nothing rhymes with orange.

I told him no it doesn't.

There is a way of telling if an orange is male or female.

If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.

If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.

I went to the shops to buy some apples, oranges and bananas... I came back empty handed.

It was a fruitless endeavour.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with a giant orange for a head...

A man walks into a bar with a giant orange for a head. He strolls up to the barman and says “hiya mate, could I get a pint of bitter please?”. The barman looks him in the face and says “no, you absolutely cannot. I’m not serving you. You’ve got a fucking massive orange for a head!”. The man, slightl...

My Dad likes to eat every part of an orange

I never found it too apeeling.

They always say “eat your greens” and “eat an orange”,

But try to eat one black and it’s ‘cannibalism’ and ‘a racial crime’!

What’s Mr. Lahey’s favorite smoothie?

Orange Julian

A buff man with a orange-sized head..

A well built man with a head the size of an orange walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender quite shocked inquires “do you mind me asking about the size of your ahead?”. “Sure..” he acquiescently replies.

“Not long ago I was lost in some woods. I don’t know how I got there. As I was...

What’s the difference between orange juice and a Jew? (This is a racist joke)

None, they are both concentrated

Why is an orange smart?

Because it Concentrates.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.




(I'll get my coat).

What do Trump and a Tupperware have in common?

A long time ago they used to be white, now they're orange.

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A drunk Guy goes to the doctor with a totally orange penis.

doc asks the guy, “Any itching?”


“No.”

“Used any weird lotions or creams?”

“No.”

“Is this recent?”

“Oh, the last few weeks, since I got a new job.”

“Anything different about your routine since the new job?”
...

I used to work at an orange juice factory...

But I couldn’t CONCENTRATE so I got CANNED

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor...

They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.

One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.

As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.

Few minute...

Do you think oranges become juice willingly

Or are they getting pressured into it?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A white man, a black man and an orange man walk into the bar.

The white man goes up to the bar to order a whiskey. The barman goes, "Hey, aren't you George Bush?"
"Yes, I am" he replies. "Well Mr. President it's an honor."
Then the black man goes up to the bar to get his drink. "Hey, aren't you Barack Obama?" asks the barman. "Yes I am", Obama responds....

I haven't been able to have any orange soda since my wife left me

It takes 2 to Tango

What do you call a fizzy orange drink that you hide from others?

Secret Fanta

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I just sprayed some orange scented air freshener in the bathroom.

Now it smells like shitrus.

A friend bought two tickets to the Alabama-Oklahoma Orange Bowl game but can't go.

He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize that the game is on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...

​

It's at Holy Cross Church, on Lake Ave at 3:00 pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good c...

Hitler didn't like oranges...

He hated the juice.

Someone asked if I ever put an orange slice in my beer.

Once, in a Blue Moon.

I dont really like orange soda.

Im not a fanta be honest

A young teenage girl was making a living as a prostitute

and for obvious reasons she kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but littl...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Orange Dick

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he has a bright orange penis. The doctor takes a look and sure enough, the man's penis is bright orange. The doctor asks the man about his daily habits to see if he could get a clue about the cause of the malady.

The man says "My day is pretty norma...

If the green man lives in the green house, the yellow man lives in the yellow house, and the blue man lives in the blue house, who lives in the white house?

The orange man.

I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.

He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."

Room #39

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black ...

What's the difference between Orange County and r/Jokes?

OC is short for one and the other's short of OC.

What’s orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?

Donald and Kanye

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There’s a squirrel sitting in an acorn tree, doing squirrel stuff...

When he notices an elephant approach and begin to climb the tree. He’s baffled and yells down ‘WHAT are you doing?!’

The elephant nonchalantly replies ‘I’m just coming up to eat oranges’. The squirrel snorts and shouts back ‘you IDIOT; this is an acorn tree!’

The elephant, now nearin...

If Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2016 Election...

But let's not compare Apples to Oranges.

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

What is the highest religious authority among oranges called?

The Pulp.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.

The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven’t ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.

The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is rea...

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head.

Man walks into a bar and pauses: at the other end of the bar, there's this guy with a big orange head. Just kind of sitting there, mooning into his drink. So the man asks the bartender, "Say, what's up with the guy with the big orange head?" And the bartender says, "It's an interesting story. Buy hi...

How are Melania Trump and LeBron James alike?

Both made their fortunes playing with orange balls.

I was walking past a prison the other day, and

I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, “now that’s a little con descending.”

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head

There is a man sitting at the end of the bar with an orange for a head. Another man, who is new in town walks in and sits down at the other end. After a few minutes he asks the bartender, “Who is that strange man with an orange for a head?”

To which she replies, “I’m not sure but he refuses t...

Donald Trump - "I'm not orange!"

"Impeach."

How many oranges grow on a tree?

All of them

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What’s the difference between an orange and the Torah?

One can make acidic juice and the other can make Hasidic Jews

(Just made this up today)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When I make you breakfast in bed, fresh eggs benedict, local picked wild flowers and freshly pressed orange juice, get into bed next to you and wake you with soothing classical music, a simple Thank you would suffice....

Not all this how the fuck did you get into my house business.

I have a drinking problem and I need help.

If Bob has drunk 2 cups of orange juice and Steve has drunk 3, and each cup has the juice of 4 oranges, how many oranges did the buy?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman walks into a bar and sees a guy at the other end with a giant, orange head.

Of course she’s intrigued, so she approaches the man and asks him, “Hello, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how did you get that giant, orange head?”

The man with the giant, orange head replies, “It’s fine, I don’t mind telling the story. One day long ago I was walking along the beach whe...