I heard the Mint stopped making coins...

It just doesn’t make cents

I worked at the U.S.Mint because it was the only job close by

I didn't have a car, it was just the only thing that made cents at the time.

A friend of mine lost his job in the mint factory

His wife went absolutely menthol

Without anyone's help, I created mints that each weigh 1/16 of a pound...

I make my own announcemints now.

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After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Kevin remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

A Chinese-owned social media platform has been poisoning breath mints to accomplish their goals.

It's the TikTok tic tac tactic.

What do you call mint for your toes?

Tic-tac-toes

Have you heard about the new mints?

They’re real ICE BREAKERS

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If there's a girl sitting in front of you with her ass crack showing and you drop Tic Tacs down there, what you call it?

Her-ass-mint

My friend kept trying to balance mints on his foot

Turns out he was playing tic tac toe

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A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s...

A reporter asked the president why the National Mint had been shut down

The president paused for a moment, then shrugged and said, “It just made cents.”

What sort of mint do anarchists hate?

Governmint

The best job is working for the US Mint.

You make millions of dollars every single day.

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 2...

In the past I could get into a store with a penny and came out with 2 coke cans, 1 bag of chips and some mints, but not anymore...

...the store put cameras today.

A child asked his dad," how are coins made".

The dad said," They are made at a mint with a press".

Then the child responded," That makes cents".

Why was the mint jelly so nervous?

Because it was always on the lamb.

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Harley Davidson for sale, mint condition, not a single scratch on it, used as my weekend bike. Very low mileage and I am very flexible on the price...

I originally bought this without consulting my wife.

Apparently “Do whatever the fuck you want” doesn’t mean what I thought it did.

Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!

Never mind, I'm cool now.

Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross but they were actually pretty good.

Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.

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Sensory Perception....

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of sweets and said, “Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The pupils easily identified the sweets flavoured of apple, lemon, strawb...

I used to work at a start up mint

It was sort of confusing to me.
But now it makes all the cents in the world.

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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a "for sale" sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and i...

I'm selling Amazon gift codes on eBay.

If anyone's interested, they are in a mint condition and only used once.

So a couple of farmers are standing around talking. One goes you know, "I had a bull who just wouldn't breed anything, so I took him to the vet and she gave me some pills to give to him. Well he bred all of my cows and jumped the fence and bred all of the neighbors cows!"

The other farmer looked at him and asked what kind of pills they were and the first one responds, "I don't know, but they kinda taste like mint."

What do you call a mint that’s made out of peppers?

A chilly chili.

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee:

Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

Have you guys heard about these mints that improve your strategic thinking abilities?

They're called Tac Tics.

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

I bought a mint condition vintage HiFi system

My wife said it's a waste of money, but I think it's a sound investment.

A new lieutenant assigned

A freshly minted U.S. Army lieutenant is assigned to a base in Afghanistan. He walks around the base and sees everything is regulation except there’s a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp.

The lieutenant asks one of the men who has been there awhile why there’s a camel. The soldier ...

I made an abacus by threading string through polo mints....

....it has improved my menthol arithmetic

Why did Karl Marx drink mint tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Did you hear that everyone at the mint went on strike?

They wanted to make less money.

I finally learned how coin minting machines work

It all makes cents now.

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Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called “Predick-a-mints.”

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

Did you hear about the new minting machine that produces coins only if you focus intently on it?

It makes cents if you think about it.

The Police put crime tape around the York Peppermint Patty plant

Now it's factory sealed and in mint condition

My boy asked me how to get a kiss on the first date. I told him to plan ahead and get some breath mints.

Tac Tics my son, Tac Tics

Why were people confused when the coin mint broke?

It didn’t make any cents!

A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway.

Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 4 miles.

What job makes the most money?

A mint worker.

I like my iced tea like I like my presidents...

so good it doesn't need any peach or mint.

My Dad was killed at an explosion at the US Mint.

He was nickel-and-dimed to death.

The penny making machine at the US mint stopped working the other day....

The director of the mint himself came to the machines engineer to ask him what the problem was.

"I can't figure it out!" exclaimed the puzzled engineer. "It doesn't make cents!!"


(Best told in person)

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A man was fired from the mint for masturbating near the coins.

He said it wasn't fair; there was no common sense.

If the US stops minting pennies, 99¢ deals will disappear

because they won't make cents any more.

What were the British man’s final words as he was about to be executed in China?

“Is it really THAT bloody hard to ask for tea and a mint square?”

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe!

My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What do you use to kick a canister of mints?

your tic-tac toe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a million dollars in October, it's now mid-November and I'm fucking broke.

I hate working at he Mint.

A very smooth talking cow

Grazed in a pasture near the chicken coop. The most delicious plants, the spearmint leaves, sat at the edge of the fence where the chickens perched. Whenever the cow would come by she'd eat the leaves, and then smooth talk the chickens with her minty fresh breath. The chickens would eventually ge...

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A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

Why would anyone buy a broken penny minting machine?

It makes no cents!

it must be confusing working at a mint when a power outage happens.

because when it happens, everything stops making cents.

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

Hey Homer, did you hear about the Impeachment?

Mmmmm peach mint (drool noises)

What color is a US dollar?

Mint green

Did you know if you leave a group you’re singing with and then come back, they have to give you an Altoid?

It’s a re-choir mint

What is the prefered chewing gum of communists?

Ho Chi MINT

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“God bless you.”

3 sisters were sitting in the porch drinking mint juleps.
Mary says, “My husband loves me so much, he built me a beautiful house with a wrap-around porch! Mable says, “That’s nice.” Irma says, “Bless your heart.”
Mable says, “My husband loves me so much, he bought me a brand new Cadilla...

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) So my girlfriend is crazy horny

And we went out to a restaurant. They brought mints with the check. That gave her the idea that I should have mints instead of pineapple juice, so my cum would taste minty, and my cum would be her end of a meal mints. So I started eating all sorts of mints for a few weeks.

One day we're ge...

How can you tell if a coin is fresh?

You can still smell the mint

What did Congress say to George Washington with bad breath after he said: "I need some money"?

You need a mint

Dave and Joe were best friends

Joe and his family went on vacation for about a week, but when he came back, Dave noticed that he was very different, his mood and tendencies had completely changed.

This was not the same Joe.

The smoking gun was that Joe's eyes were not his usual green, but blue.

He flew to J...

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A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

A little boy excitedly rushes into a candy store that sold some unusual goods...

Inside he meets the owner who takes him around the store and shows him all of the products. There were lots of different ones, candy shaped like a dog biscuit, the grass a cow would eat, the worms a bird would eat and even one that looked like a T-bone steak!

The boy is awe-struck and can’t ...

A man goes to the dentist for his six-month exam.

The man tells the dentist, “My teeth are great. I never use mouthwash, rarely brush my teeth, never floss, never use a breath mint, and eat onions and garlic with just about every meal. I also never have bad breath.” The dentist agrees his teeth are decent, but he will need an operation.


...

I just bought some collectors edition candy canes from Santa himself

They're in mint condition

My dad literally told me this one last week: 'Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

## They say he made a mint.

A redditor became a chemist

And decided to seek his fortune making breath mints.

He made one set of mints that were saturated in caffeine. It made him a significant amount of money but people complained about being a little too agitated by them.

He followed up with a heavily alcoholic variety, which was very well...

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