I heard the Mint stopped making coins...

It just doesn’t make cents

Food scientists have finally managed to remove the mint flavor from gum

The ex-spearmint was a complete success

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After an amazing 69 with his girlfriend, Mark remembered he had a dentist appointment.

He was afraid that the dentist would smell pussy on his breath so he brushed his teeth 7 times and on top of that 2 liters of mouthwash.
As he arrived at the dentist he chewed 5 strong mints too.
The dentist told him to take a seat. Feeling confident & relaxed he opened his mouth wide....

Workers at the Mint are going on strike.

They're sick and tired of making so much money!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call cum flavoured candy?

A condom-mint

A friend of mine lost his job in the mint factory

His wife went absolutely menthol

Have you heard about the new mints?

They’re real ICE BREAKERS

I have a job at the mint making paper currency.

That’s right, my job isn’t making cents.

I worked at the U.S.Mint because it was the only job close by

I didn't have a car, it was just the only thing that made cents at the time.

Why won't the US mint stop producing pennies?

Because it wouldn't make any cents

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A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational.

On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

‘About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into ...

A Chinese-owned social media platform has been poisoning breath mints to accomplish their goals.

It's the TikTok tic tac tactic.

A little old lady is late for work

And settles into a pew at the back just as the priest is saying "And anyone who has recently committed adultery should stand up." Being somewhat hard of hearing, she asks the boy next to her to repeat what the priest just said. "He asked everyone who wants a mint to stand up." The boy replied mischi...

Did you hear about the candy cane who could talk?

He said what he mint.

Without anyone's help, I created mints that each weigh 1/16 of a pound...

I make my own announcemints now.

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This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.

The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-ass breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
...

The best job is working for the US Mint.

You make millions of dollars every single day.

What do you call mint for your toes?

Tic-tac-toes

What sort of mint do anarchists hate?

Governmint

My friend kept trying to balance mints on his foot

Turns out he was playing tic tac toe

Last night in Jail they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross but they were actually pretty good.

Turns out that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected.

Help! I accidentally swallowed a mint!

Never mind, I'm cool now.

A reporter asked the president why the National Mint had been shut down

The president paused for a moment, then shrugged and said, “It just made cents.”

Have you guys heard about these mints that improve your strategic thinking abilities?

They're called Tac Tics.

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Harley Davidson for sale, mint condition, not a single scratch on it, used as my weekend bike. Very low mileage and I am very flexible on the price...

I originally bought this without consulting my wife.

Apparently “Do whatever the fuck you want” doesn’t mean what I thought it did.

In the past I could get into a store with a penny and came out with 2 coke cans, 1 bag of chips and some mints, but not anymore...

...the store put cameras today.

Why was the mint jelly so nervous?

Because it was always on the lamb.

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If there's a girl sitting in front of you with her ass crack showing and you drop Tic Tacs down there, what you call it?

Her-ass-mint

Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?

The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.

The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins ...

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Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day, he comes across a Harley with a "for sale" sign on it.

The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. "Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and i...

What do you call a mint that’s made out of peppers?

A chilly chili.

I made an abacus by threading string through polo mints....

....it has improved my menthol arithmetic

For sale: Pack of Mentos

Mint condition, original packaging.

I used to work at a start up mint

It was sort of confusing to me.
But now it makes all the cents in the world.

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

I finally learned how coin minting machines work

It all makes cents now.

I've invented a new game. You use small breath mints as playing pieces in the old-fashioned match-3-in-a-row game. I'd be happy to teach you my strategy for winning this game, but I'll have to charge you a small fee:

Call it a Tic Tac Tic-Tac-Toe Tactics Tax.

Did you hear that everyone at the mint went on strike?

They wanted to make less money.

A child asked his dad," how are coins made".

The dad said," They are made at a mint with a press".

Then the child responded," That makes cents".

I bought a mint condition vintage HiFi system

My wife said it's a waste of money, but I think it's a sound investment.

Did you hear about the new minting machine that produces coins only if you focus intently on it?

It makes cents if you think about it.

Why did Karl Marx drink mint tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q. Have you heard about the new mint-flavored birth control pill for women that they take immediately before sex?

A. They’re called “Predick-a-mints.”

Why were people confused when the coin mint broke?

It didn’t make any cents!

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 2...

So a couple of farmers are standing around talking. One goes you know, "I had a bull who just wouldn't breed anything, so I took him to the vet and she gave me some pills to give to him. Well he bred all of my cows and jumped the fence and bred all of the neighbors cows!"

The other farmer looked at him and asked what kind of pills they were and the first one responds, "I don't know, but they kinda taste like mint."

My boy asked me how to get a kiss on the first date. I told him to plan ahead and get some breath mints.

Tac Tics my son, Tac Tics

If the US stops minting pennies, 99¢ deals will disappear

because they won't make cents any more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was fired from the mint for masturbating near the coins.

He said it wasn't fair; there was no common sense.

The penny making machine at the US mint stopped working the other day....

The director of the mint himself came to the machines engineer to ask him what the problem was.

"I can't figure it out!" exclaimed the puzzled engineer. "It doesn't make cents!!"


(Best told in person)

A large wagon contaning menthol mints has crashed and shed it's load over the highway.

Police say there will be no congestion for at least the next 4 miles.

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe!

My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sensory Perception....

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.
She brought in a variety of sweets and said, “Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these.”
The pupils easily identified the sweets flavoured of apple, lemon, strawb...

My Dad was killed at an explosion at the US Mint.

He was nickel-and-dimed to death.

I'm selling Amazon gift codes on eBay.

If anyone's interested, they are in a mint condition and only used once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex...

called Predickamints.

it must be confusing working at a mint when a power outage happens.

because when it happens, everything stops making cents.

What do you use to kick a canister of mints?

your tic-tac toe

What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

A new jokes store opens up in town.

A kid walks in to check out the place early the next day. Looking all around, he sees that the store has several recognizable items (such as whoopie cushions) and some unique items that he'd never seen before. There was also a wall full of candy, with weird names such as "Hoot Gummies" and "Woof Bar...

A new lieutenant assigned

A freshly minted U.S. Army lieutenant is assigned to a base in Afghanistan. He walks around the base and sees everything is regulation except there’s a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp.

The lieutenant asks one of the men who has been there awhile why there’s a camel. The soldier ...

Did you hear about Ben & Jerry’s new limited edition Ice Cream flavor?

Peach Mint.

What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

The Police put crime tape around the York Peppermint Patty plant

Now it's factory sealed and in mint condition

What would you call a store that sold only mints and gum?

Bad Breath and Beyond.

What were the British man’s final words as he was about to be executed in China?

“Is it really THAT bloody hard to ask for tea and a mint square?”

The Democratic Caucus has released a new gum flavor

Orange n’ Peach Mint

I like my iced tea like I like my presidents...

so good it doesn't need any peach or mint.

A very smooth talking cow

Grazed in a pasture near the chicken coop. The most delicious plants, the spearmint leaves, sat at the edge of the fence where the chickens perched. Whenever the cow would come by she'd eat the leaves, and then smooth talk the chickens with her minty fresh breath. The chickens would eventually ge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a million dollars in October, it's now mid-November and I'm fucking broke.

I hate working at he Mint.

What color is a US dollar?

Mint green

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife doing 69 and when they finish up he realises he still has to go to the dentist.

He then dashes to the bathroom to go and brush his teeth, constantly smelling his breath to make sure his breath doesn’t smell like his wife’s pussy. He eats some chewing gum and even takes mints with him. He arrives at the dentist and eats some more mints just to make sure.

He’s finally call...

How can you tell if a coin is fresh?

You can still smell the mint

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) So my girlfriend is crazy horny

And we went out to a restaurant. They brought mints with the check. That gave her the idea that I should have mints instead of pineapple juice, so my cum would taste minty, and my cum would be her end of a meal mints. So I started eating all sorts of mints for a few weeks.

One day we're ge...

What do you call the new Iraqi currency?

An after Dinar mint.

Did you know if you leave a group you’re singing with and then come back, they have to give you an Altoid?

It’s a re-choir mint

Dave and Joe were best friends

Joe and his family went on vacation for about a week, but when he came back, Dave noticed that he was very different, his mood and tendencies had completely changed.

This was not the same Joe.

The smoking gun was that Joe's eyes were not his usual green, but blue.

He flew to J...

What is the prefered chewing gum of communists?

Ho Chi MINT

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