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Why do you not want to go on a roadtrip with fungi?

Because the take up too mushroom!

Don't know if this has been posted before, just thought of it and thought i could post it here.

What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?

There's not mushroom in here

What did the Eukaryote become when he realized he wasn't a fungi, plant, or animal?

A Protist-er


I'll Leave Now

Why does Mario prefer to hang out with Toad more than Luigi?

Because he's a fungi.

Mushrooms are the most virtuous of fungi...

they have the best morels.

A couple of fungi were cuddling one night

One says to the other - “it’s getting hot can you move over?”

The other replies - “I would but I don’t have mushroom!”

What do you call a Fungi who doesn't believe in God?


What do you call bacteria that likes to party?

A fungi

I used to hate foot fungi

But then it really grew on me.

I would make a fungi fun-guy joke...

...but those are overused. Too bad there isn't mushroom for other fungus jokes.

How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible

What happened to the fungi who moved into a New York apartment?

He didn't have mush-room

Why was the mushroom invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi!

But why was he asked to leave?

Because there wasn’t mushroom…

What did the mushroom’s wife say at his funeral?

What a shame, he was a fungi.

Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fibre.

I don’t tell jokes about fungi for a reason...

Too *mushroom* for error.

Why shouldn't you live in a house with Fungi?

Because there's not Mush-room!

Did you hear about that dude who started the mushroom diet? I hear hes a real fungi

this has probably been done but there is so mushroom here

I started growing some fungi in my garden, but it failed miserably.

I guess there is mushroom for improvement

While practicing writing with my kids, we wanted to write the word FUNGUS, but ended up writing FUNGI instead...

There wasn't Mushroom on the page.

A mushroom walks into a bar.

Bartender says to it "We don't serve your kind here."

Mushroom says "But, why? I'm a fungi!"

Where do fungi go shopping?

At the grocery spore.

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch stalk?

A fungi to go out with

Why does Portobello keep telling good jokes?

He's a fungi

A mushroom walks into a bar...

A mushroom walks into the bar, and orders a couple drinks. He gets a little tipsy, but he orders another. He gets properly drunk, so when he tries to order another, the bartender says "Sorry sir, we need to cut you off, you can't have any more." The mushroom says "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

Why does everyone want to hangout with the mushroom man?

Because he’s the Fungi

So, I'm a mushroom and I decided to ask a plant out.

She says she doesn't date fungi.

I guess I should be more hedgy.

A mushroom walks into a bar...

He walks up to the barman and says

"Can I have a beer?"

The barman peers down at the little mushroom and says

"I can't serve you - your a mushroom!"

The mushroom with consternation replies

"Oh come on! I'm a fun guy!" (Fungi)

What did one fungi say to anotber while packed tight in a box..

Cor there ain't mushroom in here...

A man goes to the doctor.

He tells the doctor he's been hearing strange buzzing noises all week. The sounds come and go at all times of day, but they have been most intense at night. Sometimes there are multiple distinct buzzes at a time, at different frequencies. The patient says he has hardly slept for the past week becaus...

Life is decay

so be a fungi

I tried to befriend a mushroom today.

I heard that he’s a fungi.

Toad seems so chill when he hangs out with Mario.

He’s such a fungi

A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says “I’d like to submit a joke of my people”

The receptionist looks at him and says “listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I’m not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.”

Mushroom: “so a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says ‘tell me about yourself’ and he says ‘well I’m a fu...

Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom?

The mushroom because he's a fungi.

You can call me a mushroom...

Because I am such a fun guy (fungi)

My friend always brags about being able to turn cake into alcohol

He must be a fungi at parties...

I love Toad from Super Mario

you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.

He's a real fungi.

If I had to choose to hang out with either Mario, Luigi or Toad. I'd pick Toad.

He seems like a fungi.

I just met the lead singer of Mushroomhead

He seems like a fungi

Why did the introverted mushroom decide to go to more parties?

Because everyone told him he was a fungi

Whats the difference between stormtroopers haveing a party and mushrooms being picked?

One's bad guys having a fun time the other ones fungi having a bad time!

A giant mushroom attempts to enter a bar...

and is stopped by the bouncer. The bouncer says we'll have none of your sort in here tonight. The mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"

A tomato agreed to a date with a mushroom after much persuasion.

Halfway through, the mushroom was pretty miserable and she finally said “I didn’t know we were so different and you were so boring else I would have never asked you out.”

To which the tomato replied, “Well, I never said I was a fungi.”

When my friend takes shrooms, he instantly becomes the life of the party.

What a fungi to be around.

A female fungus asked a male fungus to a date...

He replied, “I always knew I was a fungi.”

A guy I hate started doing shrooms

Since then he's become a fungi

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