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Genes Jokes

Did you know?

Diarrhea runs in your genes.

Scientists finally located the gene that causes shyness

It was hiding behind two other genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pre-mature Ejaculation is an inherited disorder

it comes in your genes.

Two Racehorses Were Discussing Why They Never Win

Racehorse 1: "I don't get it. We eat the best food, have the best training, the best racehorse genes, are so so fast, and yet we never win."

Racehorse 2: "It's heart-breaking, I simply don't understand."

A dog overheard them and said: "If I may interject, I have watched you two closely...

What did one DNA say to the other DNA?

Do these genes make me look fat?

What did the Y chromosome say to the X chromosome?

Any room for me in those genes?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sometimes being cute is like having diarrhea.

Sometimes shit just runs in your genes.

A white baby was born in a black tribe from the jungle

The news travelled fast around the tribe and soon after, the confusion led to anger. Upon his return from the jungle, the white British zoologist who was living with the tribe for the past 3 years, was quickly apprehended and brought to the tribe's chief to be urgently judged.

At first, the t...

*Pants*

I always keep a joke in my pocket. My dad always has, and his father had before him.

Its in my genes.

An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. See his answers:

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work...

My wife has a peculiar cooking habit

So, my wife and I are newly weds, and she's a great cook, but I noticed she did something strange when preparing sausages. Just before she puts them in the skillet, she cuts off about an inch on both sides of the sausages.

After having witnessed this a couple of times, I asked her why she di...

An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a general check-up.

The doctor was shocked to see his health,
Asked--
'What is the secret of your good health ....?'

- 'I get up before the sun rises and go out for cycling and then come and drink two glasses of wine!
Maybe this is the secret of my health. '

Doctor - 'Okay, but can I ask you how ...

How would you tell if a chromosome is male or female?

You unzip the genes

What do you call depression that runs in the family?

Blue genes!

I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother

All my genes are hand-me-downs

*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness

Chuck Norris can only have Chuck Norris as babies.

Because all of his genes are dominant.

How do you mix boy and girl chromosomes?

Pull down their genes.

At the doctor investigating my stomach issues, I was asked if I had a family history of stomach issues

I said “why yes, diarrhea runs in my genes.”

Baby, I wish I were DNA helicase...

...so I could unzip your genes.

What does a biologist wear on a first date?

Designer Genes

I went to the doctor

I said, "I'm suffering from hereditary diarrhea!"

He said, "that sort of thing doesn't run in the family"

I said, "well it's in my genes!"

I told my Biology lab partner to let me be her DNA helicase...

So I can unzip those genes.

Doctor: your dad is not with us anymore

Me: damn

Doctor: He’s at a different hospital

Me: oh ok

Doctor: dead

Me: damn

Doctor: I mean my phone. I have to go charge it.

Me: Oh. I thought you meant-

Doctor: Well yeah, that too. He kicked the bucket.

Me: Really?

Doctor: He ...

I once seduced a woman by telling her I'd sequence her DNA

but I stopped at first base when she told me what I'd find in her genes

My family has a chronic diarrhea problem.

I guess you could say it runs in our genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A female journalist is taking a tour of a new science facility.

Scientist: Here at our lab we've been testing what would happen to GMO foods if, instead of producing foods with genes intended for fast production, we could develop GMO foods into potentially another form of species.

Journalist: That's interesting what foods have you tested this on?

...

What do diarrhea and hair color have in common?

They both run in your genes.

One day a man is taking a shower in his family home. His dad walks in on him while he is drying off and notices his son is Huge.

The dad says: Holy hell son, where have you been hiding that thing?!

The son looks over to his pants lying on the floor and replies to his dad:
".....In my Genes."

My mom said that my dad told too many puns and dad jokes. She said “you have your fathers genes”

I said his jeans are too big for me

Did you hear about the guy with IBS?

Runs in his genes!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do sex and DNA replication have in common?

You gotta unzip the genes first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is applying for a position at Comcast

interviewer: So what makes you think you're qualified for this position?
man: Well, to be honest, I think it's in my genes.
interviewer: You mean you have family members who have worked for Comcast?
man: No, I mean my grandfather was a Nazi.

Evolution has its hand in

Everyone’s genes

Story about Kenny Loggins

Was reading this story today about Top Gun, and found another story about Kenny Loggins. Apparently he was part of a recent program to clone musicians and artists, to isolate and modify the genes responsible for creativity. There was a limit of the number of clones that could be created, and at one ...

Everyone in my family has extremely skinny legs, so we all have to have our pants custom made. It's wicked expensive.

Damn skinny genes.

If a clothes designer had a child...

Would it have designer genes?

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