Smoothie Jokes - 35 Hilarious Smoothie Jokes

I think I should work at a Smoothie shop

I feel like I would blend in

Why did the smoothie get assassinated?

He got mixed up with a few bad apples.

Covid Smoothie

Me Ex Wife dropped off a Covid smoothie for me.

Because she still cares for me, she used organic bleach.

What’s a cannibal’s favorite smoothie?

A blended family

An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."

The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"

The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"

"Pop," goes the wease...

Why are chameleons good in smoothies

Because they blend in really well

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The billionaire and the mermaid whisperer

A billionaire is sailing his yacht past a lighthouse, and he sees the elderly lighthouse keeper out on the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, getting a blowjob from a mermaid - the top half was a stunning, curvy redhead, and the bottom half was a tiger shark. As he watches, the pair finish the act...

What did Trump say while drinking his favorite flavor of smoothie?

Mmmmm Peach-Mint

What’s Mr. Lahey’s favorite smoothie?

Orange Julian

What do you get if you mix a horse with a cat?

A very strange-tasting smoothie, and a traumatizing experience for everyone involved.

Smoothie bar

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable smoothies has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide.

Their ' Melon - Cauli ' smoothie has now been withdrawn.

What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?

Mejuicea

What do you call someone who steals a fruit drink?

A smoothie criminal.

Why are racists bad at making milkshakes and smoothies?

They don't blend.

Which do you prefer? Orange roughy or orange smoothie?

Texture reply to me.

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."

What do you get when you cross an Indian smoothie with a rescue dog?

Mango Lassie

There was a vendor in the area that sold delicious fruit smoothies.

One day the man disappeared.

So did the punchline.

If tomatoes are a fruit

Then ketchup is a smoothie.

Told by my 9 year old son. Thought it was funny. Maybe more of a shower thought.

So I'm walking down the road I feel something hit me on the head.

So I look around I see it's a mango.

Next thing a tub of yoghurt comes out of nowhere and smacks me in the face and splashes yoghurt all over me. Then I get whacked in the neck with a banana and I take a paya-paya to the head and it knocks me out.

So I wake up and the police are the...

Not to brag, but I've already had two pretty sweet dates this weekend

I'm surprised how much they added to my smoothie.

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky.
Credit to my dad this morning..

If the tomato is technically a fruit

Does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

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My younger sister just got a job at the mall

It is her first job, and she's working as a salesperson at that lotion, soap, and candle place. I'm not going to name names, but you know it, over there in the mall, right next to that new smoothie place where they put chia seeds in all their smoothies. They are really good smoothies, but I digress....

When I was a kid, I would dream of being chased through the woods by a tall, unusually thin man in a suit, holding a fruit smoothie in one hand and an electic mixer in the other. His name?

Blender Man.

As a little sub-note to this terrible joke, you may think it funnier that when I first typed it out, my phrasing was "....chased through the woulds....", coz I'm a dolt.

I GOT up at 5am,

ran 8km, came back and prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast.

I don’t remember the rest of the dream..

What do you call a Vegan with diarrhea?

A smoothie maker!

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

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3 vampires are in a bar.

One orders a Type A+ Blood Smoothie.
The second one order a Type O+ Blood Slushie.
The third one orders a glass of water.
The other two are shocked.
The third one grabs out a used tampon and says, "Don't worry, I am making tea!'

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A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra...

A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra,

The pharmacist says he has two kinds, one that costs $20 and one that costs $30

The man asks for the one that costs $30, opens the bottle and pops a pill. He pulls out a credit card to pay and the pharmacist says

“Sorry, we don’t...

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead visit an old wishing well.

"What are you going to wish for?" the blonde asks the other two.

The brunette and the redhead ponder for a minute, rather ashamed that they didn't think of something beforehand. The redhead looks around for inspiration. When her gaze lingers on the well, she makes up her mind. She fishes a co...

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An EMT was called to a scene in the ghetto

This is actually a true story.

My friend who was an EMT working in South Los Angeles was called to a Domestic Violence scene in Compton. Upon arriving on the scene, a man was sitting on the front porch holding the back of his head where blood was spilling out.

"Are you okay? What happ...

My fruit and vegetable business recently went into liquidation

We now sell smoothies

The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare.

Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie.

What did the smoothie say to the policeman?

Don’t arrest me, I’m Innocent

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