I think I should work at a Smoothie shop

I feel like I would blend in

Why are chameleons good in smoothies

Because they blend in really well

When I was a kid, I would dream of being chased through the woods by a tall, unusually thin man in a suit, holding a fruit smoothie in one hand and an electic mixer in the other. His name?

Blender Man.



As a little sub-note to this terrible joke, you may think it funnier that when I first typed it out, my phrasing was "....chased through the woulds....", coz I'm a dolt.

I tried making a chameleon smoothie, it didn't turn out very good, surprisingly it...

doesn't blend well.

What do you get if you mix a horse with a cat?

A very strange-tasting smoothie, and a traumatizing experience for everyone involved.

Chameleons are supposed to blend well,

but I think it's ruined this smoothie.

Why are racists bad at making milkshakes and smoothies?

They don't blend.

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."

So I'm walking down the road I feel something hit me on the head.

So I look around I see it's a mango.

Next thing a tub of yoghurt comes out of nowhere and smacks me in the face and splashes yoghurt all over me. Then I get whacked in the neck with a banana and I take a paya-paya to the head and it knocks me out.

So I wake up and the police are the...

I was at my best friend's apartment craving a smoothie.

After rummaging through his kitchen looking for anything to make a smoothie with, I got really frustrated and asked him.


"Don't you have a single fruit in this damned place!"

He shrugged and said, "sorry, we only have pears."

Why did the smoothie get assassinated?

He got mixed up with a few bad apples.

Smoothie bar

A smoothie bar serving combined fruit and vegetable smoothies has been linked to bouts of depression and suicide.

Their ' Melon - Cauli ' smoothie has now been withdrawn.

What’s Mr. Lahey’s favorite smoothie?

Orange Julian

An underage weasel walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. I can't serve underage weasels."

The weasel says, "That's fine. I don't need something alcoholic. What else do you have?"

The bartender says "Oh, we have lots! We have water, pop, tea, coffee, smoothies. What would you like?"

"Pop," goes the wease...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My younger sister just got a job at the mall

It is her first job, and she's working as a salesperson at that lotion, soap, and candle place. I'm not going to name names, but you know it, over there in the mall, right next to that new smoothie place where they put chia seeds in all their smoothies. They are really good smoothies, but I digress....

Which do you prefer? Orange roughy or orange smoothie?

Texture reply to me.

There was a vendor in the area that sold delicious fruit smoothies.

One day the man disappeared.

So did the punchline.

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky.
Credit to my dad this morning..

If tomatoes are a fruit

Then ketchup is a smoothie.

Told by my 9 year old son. Thought it was funny. Maybe more of a shower thought.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra...

A man walks into a drugstore asking for viagra,

The pharmacist says he has two kinds, one that costs $20 and one that costs $30

The man asks for the one that costs $30, opens the bottle and pops a pill. He pulls out a credit card to pay and the pharmacist says

“Sorry, we don’t...

What do you call a Vegan with diarrhea?

A smoothie maker!

Not to brag, but I've already had two pretty sweet dates this weekend

I'm surprised how much they added to my smoothie.

NSFW What do you get when you cross Twitch with Mixer?

A really sloppy smoothie.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 vampires are in a bar.

One orders a Type A+ Blood Smoothie.
The second one order a Type O+ Blood Slushie.
The third one orders a glass of water.
The other two are shocked.
The third one grabs out a used tampon and says, "Don't worry, I am making tea!'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead visit an old wishing well.

"What are you going to wish for?" the blonde asks the other two.

The brunette and the redhead ponder for a minute, rather ashamed that they didn't think of something beforehand. The redhead looks around for inspiration. When her gaze lingers on the well, she makes up her mind. She fishes a co...

Michael Jackson robbed a Boost Juice before he died..

He was a smoothie criminal.

My fruit and vegetable business recently went into liquidation

We now sell smoothies

What did the smoothie say to the policeman?

Don’t arrest me, I’m Innocent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An EMT was called to a scene in the ghetto

This is actually a true story.

My friend who was an EMT working in South Los Angeles was called to a Domestic Violence scene in Compton. Upon arriving on the scene, a man was sitting on the front porch holding the back of his head where blood was spilling out.

"Are you okay? What happ...

The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare.

Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie.

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