UPJOKE
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Mojito Jokes

"Sorry, we don't serve mojitos here" says the bartender.

The dejected mojito gets up and leaves the bar.

A programmer, a doctor and an anti-vaxxer are sitting in a bar.

The programmer says: “For me a mojito!”

The doctor says: “For me a pina colada!”

The anti-vaxxer says: “For me an applejack!” because anti-vaxxers are like any normal person and not so quirky or weird.

She then dies from measles.

Carlos was the proud owner of a Mexican Bed & Breakfast in Cancun...

It was founded by his Great-grandfather in the 1800s. He had come to Mexico from Spain and bought the run-down place with a loan from from a businessman back home. Through hard work and sheer determination, he had built the place up to a relatively successful B&B.

After his death, he lef...

Three guys walk into a wizard's bar

They are greeted by an old man with a long beard at the bar who introduces himself as the bartender.

"Tonight only, for just $100, you can have an endless glass of anything in this bar!"

"Yeah right!" The first guy says. "Bet you can't get me an endless, cold Moosehead!"

With a ...

When Forrest Gump was a bartender

Someone ordered a mojito.
There he goes, puts som mint in, lime juice and he starts pouring some vodka.
And the other bartender: RUM, FORREST, RUM!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A US senator died and went to heaven.

When he gets to heaven Saint Peter is waiting for him at the pearly gates.
Peter says: "Oh a Senator huh? Well we have a special deal for you! Since you spent your life trying to reach across the aisle to both parties we give you 24 hours in both heaven and hell and at the end of 48 hours you g...

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