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Methods Jokes

Bodybuilders agree on most methods of building muscle...

but they can never agree on which is the best whey.

5 Execution Methods Still Used In The Modern World

Number 1 will shock you

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Nuclear power is like anal sex

If done cleanly and properly, it might be even better than conventional methods. But add a few messy mistakes and it's considered taboo.

All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper...

Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

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I've had my wallet stolen and my ass is red raw from being whipped.

I know my girlfriend didn't want to get pregnant but there must be better methods of contraception than sending me out to find a con domme.

Buzzfeeds top 10 list of torture methods

Number 7 will shock you

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A scientist was put in charge of developing new methods of assassination for the CIA.

He came up with several ideas, and the director of the CIA came down to see them demonstrated.

He showed off ballpoint pen dart-guns and poisoned bubble gum, but nothing seemed to impress the director. Finally, he stood up to leave.

"I'm going to go take a piss, and then I'm headed bac...

A new doctor with unique treatment methods gets appointed in a mental asylum

He decides to test 3 random patients to evaluate how unstable they are. If they pass the evaluation they can go home else face rigorous treatment.

For the test he calls their concerned relatives and takes them to a deep swimming pool without water. He then puts a drop of water into the pool....

I'm a farmer using different methods trying to impress a girl I like

But nothing seems to a tractor

What are the three fastest methods of communication?

Telegraph

Telephone

Tell a woman

We had a history exam on medieval defense methods

I got an A for a fort

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Reading Cormack McCarthy's ~The Crossing.

You hear about the Texas lion and the New Mexico lion? the old man said.
No sir. I dont believe so.
There was this Texas lion and this New Mexico lion. They split up on the divide and went off to hunt. Agreed to meet up in the spring and see how they’d done and all and whenever they done it wh...

A man opens a business training seeing-eye-dogs with what he claims to be "the most scientific methods possible."

A curious reporter wants to see these methods in action, so he arranges to observe the final tests of some of these trained assistance dogs along with the business owner.

The first dog enters the testing course with his blind handler and performs spectacularly. First the dog guides his human ...

Aren't some of the methods used to kill people on death row...

...absolutely shocking

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A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods.

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane assylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients. The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks "What are you doing?" She replies "...

Scientists are testing new mind reading methods with ants

It sounds like a cool psy-ants project

My wife says I'm obessed with methods of regulation

To prove her wrong I went on a yoga holiday in Prague.
It was a series of checks and balances.

Click here for 17 facts about suicide methods.....

#8 will blow your mind!

I went to a seminar on drilling methods yesterday...

Boring!

I don't know why people object to CIA torture methods.

Who doesn't like to go water boarding?

There was a Pirate Captain who had an interesting way of pillaging ships..

Prowling the edges of dangerous waters where storms and large reefs were common, the Captain and his crew would pick out the most stricken merchant vessels limping out of a storm, then swiftly close in.

 

Once their pirate ship was alongside the merchant vessel however, the ...

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