The 41+ Best Acting Jokes

My girlfriend shouted at me, “You’re always acting like a detective. I want to split up!" Eyes growing wide, I replied...

"Great idea! We can cover more ground that way!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls, if your man starts acting weird while sexting;

Send him a picture of a naked grandma, then send him a picture of your boobs. He just needs turning off and back on again.

My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.

I was auditioning for a play today, and the director yelled at me. He said my acting reminded him of a female reproductive organ! Needless to say I stormed off…

But after I thought about it, I went back. I had to apologize for ovary acting.

My teenage daughter is really acting odd..

She can’t even

Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?

Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?

My wife asked me to stop acting like a flamingo

I had to put my foot down.

I said to my kid, “Someone just told me that you’re acting like an owl.”

My son: Who?

Me: Exactly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mickey Mouse was in divorce court and the judge was looking over his file. Judge: So, Mickey it says here you want to divorce your wife because she’s been acting crazy?

Mickey: No, haha I said she’s fucking Goofy

My teacher told me to stop acting like a know-it-all.

So I decided to give ignorance a try.

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

After Arnold Schwarzenegger quit the acting world, he should have started a pest control service

He is an ex-Terminator, after all.

What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t worry about him. He’s just a product of our times.

My teen daughter is acting really odd.

She can’t even. It’s causing a family divide. We’ve got to figure it out before our problems multiply.

I heard Arnold Schwarzenegger retired from acting but he still keeps busy.

He's working as an exterminator.

(Hi u/govschwarzenegger!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Brother’s acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID

Thinks his shit don’t stink

Based on Lebron's acting skills, I suspect Space Jam 2...

Will be a flop.

How did Kim Kardashian explain to her daughter the reason why Kanye is acting this way?

“North, my relationship with West has gone totally South.”

I love Rock's acting in all his movies, I wonder where he got his acting skills from...

Oh he was in WWE.

My pet iguana is acting weird

I think I have a reptile dysfunction

I was once a Disneyland costume worker for a day because I took method acting "way too far."

I was told a little late that I needed to wear pants inside and outside the Donald Duck costume.

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend said she was tired of me acting like a detective and told me that we should split up

I said "Good idea we'll cover more ground that way"

She also got pissed at me and said that I ruined her birthday which I have no idea how I didn't even know it was her birthday

I heard these two jokes when I was a kid and they've always made me laugh, I know they are kind of old b...

Why was the tree afraid of acting?

He was afraid he’d dialogue.

Jewish mothers, right?

The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Sarah Goldstein.
She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"
"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your fa...

if Newton heard someone suggest his corpse could move without an external force acting upon it...

...he would roll over in his grave.

On our first date, I couldn't figure out why my wife was acting like a fish.

Turns out she was just being Koi.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emma Watson decided to quit acting to become a professional gambler. She entered her first craps tournament full of optimism.

At the start of the first round, Emma started undressing. "Why are you undressing?" asked one of her opponents. "I like to play craps completely in the nude," replied Emma.

As soon as Emma had removed the last shred of clothing, she made her bet. Then the dice were rolled. Emma watched as the...

A Young Jewish boy kept acting up at school..

One day, the school calls his father and says, "Your son keeps acting up in class, and his behaviour is unacceptable. We'd reccomend placement in another school."

So the father talks to his son and decides he's gonna send him to a private school.

A week later, the private school calls ...

A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird.

He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”

Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“

What do you say to a Lady who's acting up while on her period?

Please stop Ovary-acting

[P.S.. i sure hope this hasn't been posted here before]

why were the merpeople acting funny

they legalized seaweed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just took an acting class....

Now I'm qualified to be a soccer player

Paddy had not done any acting in a long time

Paddy had not done any acting in a long time, and was thrilled have been given an opportunity in a local production. The director said to him, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose, delicately, with just...

My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment.

Props to him.

Did you hear about the acting role Nicolas Cage turned down?

Neither has he

Doesn’t it happen to you that you gain 20 kg for an acting role...

...and then you remember you are not an actor?

Why does John Wilkes Booth get all the best acting jobs?

He has all the best headshots.

(Credit to my friend Isabella)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spring is acting like a bitter, angry, baby’s mama.

Bitch, I just wanna see my sun.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My hemorroids are acting up again.

I'm butt hurt about it.

How to keep kids from acting up in class

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noti...

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