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Medical Examiner Jokes

The two medical examiners

A seasoned medical examiner brings his new trainee to their very first crime scene. The grizzled veteran tells the rookie that “this is a messy one – are you sure you can handle it?”

The rookie says “of course – I’ve got this.”

So they go in and it is a mess. All sorts of human bits an...

The medical examiner's office was told to reduce their budget

They had to start cutting coroners.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

You know what's great about being a medical examiner?

Not having to wait until you go home to crack open a cold one.

Why can't female medical examiners have kids?

Because nobody puts baby in a coroner.
Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out.

A lady finds out that she is pregnant, but she is worried.

He husband has anger management issues, yelling a lot, breaking things, really horrible to be around. She doesn't want her kids to be like that, so she asks her doctor for advice. Her doctor says "Rub your belly once a day every day and say 'Be polite, be polite.' "

So she starts doing so. Bu...

I'm in big trouble.

I knocked up a medical examiner and from what I've heard, NOBODY puts a baby in a coroner!

Epstein's death being a suicide was just one big misunderstanding...

The medical examiner who ruled the death as a suicide misunderstood what his colleague meant by "Man... Epstein sure was hung!"

Mini van roll over results in one fatality.

As the older model Ford Aerostar rolled over the driver was ejected. The vehicle then rolled over the driver, piercing him with the exterior mounted antenna. The driver expired before paramedics arrived.

Medical examiner's report states. The driver died of a Van Aerial Disease.

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