UPJOKE
inspectortesterinvestigatorexaminationauditautopsylawyerenquirerinvestigationexperimentinvestigativeexamineeexammedical doctorcoroner

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A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks.

To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam.


Examiner: When did the USA gain independence?
Spy: July 4, 1776


\- Good. How many continents are there?
\- Easy peasy, seven.
\- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in?
\- Technically, Turkey...

A lady finds out that she is pregnant, but she is worried.

He husband has anger management issues, yelling a lot, breaking things, really horrible to be around. She doesn't want her kids to be like that, so she asks her doctor for advice. Her doctor says "Rub your belly once a day every day and say 'Be polite, be polite.' "

So she starts doing so. Bu...

A Cambridge student was sitting an exam...

A Cambridge student was sitting an exam in one of the University's oldest and most traditional schools.

Midway through, he leapt to his feet and loudly demanded a pint of ale.

The startled head examiner asked the student to explain himself immediately.

The student promptly cite...

An examiner is conducting a test...

Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner :- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student:- I will open the window.

Examiner :- Great, now suppose ...

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I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner, when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal, because it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident.You should always just hit it and keep on driving.

Had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!

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My driving examiner looks fucking astonished.

I can tell he's never seen someone dodge pedestrians this smoothly before.....

A guy being examined by a psychologist is shown an inkblot card. "What does this look like?" asks the examiner

The guy studies it for a moment. "Oh, that's an easy one! It's Rorschach series III, sequence 6, card 2."

"During your exam you hit two curbs, ran a red light, and went too fast," said the examiner.

"But on the upside," I replied, "you haven't arrested me for drunk driving."

The medical examiner’s office was told to reduce their budget.

So they had to start cutting coroners

You know what's great about being a medical examiner?

Not having to wait until you go home to crack open a cold one.

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A man goes on a date with a patent examiner.

Things are going well, so they go back to his place, and end up having sex.

Afterwards, the man asks his date, "So, do you want to do this again tomorrow?"

His date replies: "I will report that your technique, while novel, is obvious to one skilled in the art. Also I found some of you...

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