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Psychiatry Jokes

I was so excited about how well my psychiatry appointment went

But when I got home, I couldn’t find any of my roommates to tell them

I was at a ski resort for a psychiatry convention

I've never seen so many Freudians slip

A Joke For The Psychiatry World

Q: What do you call someone who hears voices calling their name all the time?

A: A schizophrenic narcissist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class.

“Let’s set some parameters,” the professor said. “What’s the opposite of joy?” he asked one student.



“Sadness,” he replied.



“The opposite of depression?” he asked
another student.



“Elation,” he replied.



“The opposite of woe?” the prof as...

Job interview in a psychiatry

So you’re interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?

I’ve been on Reddit for 5 years now.

Very good, the job is yours.

This is the psychiatry hotline,

If you are Obsessive- Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly,

If you are co- dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you,

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6,

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call,
...

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what're you in for

A Psychiatry student is sent to the mental hospital to evaluate 3 of the worst cases in the country. He's lead down a stairwell into the basement where there's three heavy locked iron doors. He unlocks the first and goes inside.

Standing in the middle of the room is a guy swinging his arms li...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between erotic and kinky sex?

A sadist, a masochistic, a murderer, a necrophilic, a zoophilic and a pyromaniac sit in the garden of psychiatry and are terribly bored.

Once the zoophile sounds:
- What if we fucked a cat?

For this, the sadist:
-Yes, let's fuck him and then torture him well.

The mur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jung and Freud

are arguing about the fine points of psychiatry, then things got nasty.

Said Freud "You are a dick Carl!" Answered Jung "Your mama!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Groundbreaking Study

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

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