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Math Teacher Jokes

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A boy tells his father "Dad, my math teacher is asking to see you.”

The father asks "What happened?"

“Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 x 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 x 7?' so I ask 'what's the fucking difference?'"

"Indeed, what is the difference?" says the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from school an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A math teacher, a gym teacher, and a stoner die and arrive in heaven at the same time.

God tells them that heaven is full and they will have to trick the devil to be let in. God calls the devil and the devil comes in and introduces himself.

The math teacher tries first and gives him a hard equation. The devil solves it in 10 seconds and the teacher is sent to hell.

The...

I asked my math teacher why 6 was afraid of 7.

She replied, “Approximately 0.3583679495453”.

I stared at her, confused. Seeing my confusion, she added, “You know, cos (789)”

My math teacher called me average...

How mean.

Did you hear about the math teacher who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.

I think he must be plotting something.

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.

They're definitely plotting something.

My Math teacher told me 0! = 1

But my computer teacher told me 0 != 1

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Dad, my math teacher wants you to come in to speak with her," said Billy after coming home on Monday.

"Why, what happened?" Asked his father.

"Well, she asked me to multiply 7 times 9, so I did and told her 63. Then she asked me to multiply 9 times 7, so I told her what's the fucking point if the answer's going to be the same."

"Well yeah, what IS the point if you already answered her ...

Where do math teachers go on vacation?

To time square.

A new twist on an old joke.

Scientists recently did a study on the effects the right side and left side of a brain had on counting.
They first took out the left half of a man's brain and asked him to count to 10.

He says, "2, 4, 6, 8, 10".

They put the left half back in and removed the right half, asking him ...

To my elementary school math teacher who first taught me subtraction…

…Thank you for encouraging me to make a difference.

What did the math teacher say when the parrot escaped?

Polygon

I got fired from my job as a math teacher

I was supposed to teach the kids what sine divided by cosine was, but I kept going off on a tangent.

A math teacher welcomed a new French exchange student into her class and then started teaching a lesson on fractions.

The French exchange student raised his hand and said, "Excuse me Madam, but I don't know how to say fractions. How do you say those?"

"Easy," said the teacher, "you just say the top number and then the bottom number is read as an ordinal number. For example, 2/3 is 'two-thirds', 3/4 is 'three...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.

The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”

The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which...

When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...

Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side!

What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

Pi

Why are Math teachers never sick and English teachers always pregnant?

Because you can always count on a math teacher and English teachers do not allow contractions.

Math Teacher: Your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you have all the correct answers

Later at Home: I think she’s on to us, mathmachicken

why do math teachers have their desk at the corner of the room during winter?

It's always 90 degrees there

What do old pirate captains and math teachers have in common?

They both yell at younger people to find X

How do you tell the difference between a math teacher and an English teacher?

Ask them to define “hyperbolic”.

I think my math teacher is a communist

Because she keeps talking about Engels

Ever since I retired from being a math teacher, my whole life has been …

… dealing with the aftermath.

How do you get a math teacher pregnant

Cream π

My math teacher grew seaweed on his wife's undergarments.

He really was fond of algae-bra.

Math Teachers never die

They just reduce to lowest terms

Why did the Math Teacher chop wood?

So he could do Logarithms.

Why do all math teachers wear glasses ?

Cuz it improves division

My math teacher told me that I won't amount to anything because I smoke weed...

But my physics teacher says the higher you are, the larger your potential!

My math teacher told me I would be stuck working at McDonalds for the rest of my life

Jokes on her, I'm lovin' it

Why did the psychologist leave the math teacher?

He has way too many problems that need solving.

My Math teacher told me I'm terrible at telling Math jokes.

She was mode to me.



Edit: Medium\*

Edit: Range\*

Edit: Average\*

How do you know your math teacher is in love with you?

They give you aba-kisses

Did you know that all high school math teachers are lonely?

You can tell by them always asking you to find the X

What type of meals do math teachers eat?

Square ones.

Today, my math teacher from Boston made fun of me for having a lisp.

What a mathole!!!

A priest and a math teacher...

die and go to heaven at the same time. St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates, and then shows them to their accommodations. He brings the math teacher to a luxurious mansion, with a hedge maze, marble columns, and a fountain. The priest thinks to himself, "If the math teacher gets this, imagine w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the math teacher join the dark side?

Because only a sith deals in absolutes.




I fucking thought of this while in the bathroom. And if it's already thought of, then fuck them. This is the sole accomplishment of my life and I can't let anybody take that away from me.

My math teacher came out today

She stood in front of the class and said she was binomial.

My math teacher was feeling depressed.

I told him he should get to the root of the problem quickly before he starts feeling sinusoidal.

In grade school, I had a math teacher named Mrs. Baker...

To this day, I do not understand why she tried to teach us that 6 + 6 equals 13.


^^inspired ^^by ^^Mitch ^^Hedberg

What's a math teacher's favorite piece of lingerie?

An alge-bra.

I think my math teacher just broke up with his girlfriend.

Today in class, he asked us to find his ex, but he wouldn’t tell us why.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Pi R Squared", said my math teacher.

"Bullshit!" I exclaimed. "Pie are round!"

The math teacher asks little john

"If you have 5 apples and James takes 3 from you, what will you have ? "

little john : a fight sir !

My math teacher keeps telling me to simplify my fractions

I do it 48/14

Our Math teacher gave us a tough question to answer.

"John was born with four different skin colors, what is the total percentage for each skin colors?"

I failed since i answered " foreskin %"

Math teacher joke

Why do math teachers never get constipated?


Because they always work problems out with a pencil.

My math teacher hates mixed fractions

I'm guessing that's why what she teaches is improper.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher?

couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...

Since y'all liked the monk joke, I modified a joke told by my high school math teacher.

Once there was a king and he attended that monk's temple. One day the monk was late. The king asked him why he was late. And he replied that he had to help his wife with an errand.

"You are so revered monk and yet, you fear your wife!", the king exclaimed.
" Well, everyone fears his wife",...

What’s a math teacher’s favorite food?

3.14

Math teachers don't know proper grammar

I asked one who or what is the most imaginary thing in his opinion.
He said "I is".

I got into a fight with a math teacher the other day.

Frankly it all went smoothly. We put aside our differences and to sum it all up; we got rid of the negatives.

A math teacher is teaching his class in a green costume

Halloween was soon, so he and most of the school was dressed up.

He decided to dress up as The Flash, as he was a popular character among the students, but not knowing the character well, he ended up with a green version of the costume.

After a bit of mocking by the students, he began ...

A math teacher ask his students, "What is 5Q + 5Q?"

The class responds, "10Q."

The teacher responds, "You're welcome/"

Last night I dreamt my math teacher was a mermaid…

and my secret lover.

But she dumped me after I couldn’t unhook her top part.

Too bad. I failed my algae bra test.

My parents got called into a conference with my math teacher

I wasn’t submitting homework and I was skipping questions on my tests. It’s no problem though; I’m in the clear. They explained to him that we are atheists so he can’t make me solve exponential functions due to the fact we don’t believe in higher powers.

Math teacher: What happens if you take 20% off of seven?

Student: It becomes even.

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