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Graduates Jokes

What do you call the doctor who graduates at the bottom of the class?

Doctor

Post Malone Has Started His Own Student Loan Service in an Attempt to Lift the Burden Off of New Graduates

It's called "Post Malone's Post Pone Ma Loans"

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

Three College Graduates in McDonald's

Three recent college graduates met in McDonald's, and the engineering major said, "Did you see the new wind turbines going up on the east side of town? They had asked our class to run some stress studies during windstorms as an exercise".

"Yes", the geology graduate said, "They also contacte...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two recent college graduates walk into the mens room at the same time.

They proceed to the urinals to relieve their bladders. When they finish one walks to the sink and washes his hands.
The other about to exit without washing his hands.
Sink guy- at Harvard they taught us to wash our hands after using the restroom.
Other guy- at my college they taught us not...

Proud University Graduates

Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing

their graduation gowns.

Cab Driver : “Are you graduates from the city university?”

Young Graduates: “Yes, sir,” they announced proudly. “Class of 2021.”

Cab Driver : ...

Here's one for you recent graduates.

A college grad decides to get a job at a hardware store for the summer. He shows up on his first day of work and his boss hands him a broom.

"Here, your first task is to sweep out all the aisles. After that, I'll show you where the rest of the cleaning supplies are."

The grad looks at ...

If a married man graduates from the University his first time,

is he still given a **bachelor's** degree?

what do you call a cruise full of college graduates?













(a Scholar-ship)

Three graduates are stood in McDonalds.

The economics graduate asks how the business became so successful and made so much money?

The engineering graduate asks how the kitchens were built to maximise production efficiency.

The fine arts graduate asks, "Do you want fries with that?".

Kek day joke: What do you call the person who graduates medical school with the lowest GPA?

Doctor.

Two recent philosophy graduates..

2 recent philosophy graduates, John and Andy, embarked on a cross-country journey to better understand the meaning of life.

They took with them their best friend, Bill, who was a college drop-out and a former drug addict who's now sober and helping his dad's business.

John and Andy tho...

In 2015, while addressing graduates of SMU, George W. Bush said;

"To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the 'C' students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States."



Then Donald Trump came and said “Bush has denied us, Americans our right to be POTUS!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 recent college graduates are looking for a job.

They were in the receptionist's office waiting for their interviews. The first one gets called in.
HR manager: "We are a young growing company and we need people with good powers of observation. I want you to make an observation about anything you see in my office and you tell me all about it"...

What do Stanford and UCLA graduates have in common?

They applied to Stanford.

A quadriplegic goes off to college but never graduates.

He tried and tried but just couldn't get that leg up.

A Young Man Graduates From High School

And he is deciding whether to join the Air Force or go to college. His father was in the Air Force, and strongly suggested that his son join as well.

The son decided on the Air Force. Six months go by, and he got his first leave and returned home.

His father asked, "How is the Air Fo...

In today's economy what do Arts graduates bring to the table?

Your lunch.

Donald Trump is an inspiration to all new College graduates.

He is in the final interview rounds of a job he has zero experience for.

What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

"Would you like fries with that?"

A Jewish mother walks by a planned parenthood and sees a protestor who’s sign says “life begins at conception”

She goes up to the man and says “that may be true of Christian babies, but a Jewish fetus isn’t viable until it graduates medical school!”

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