Mohammad, a child of Arab parents was enrolled in a school in New York. On the first day, his teacher asked, ‘What is your name?’ The boy replied, ‘Mohammad’.

‘From now on your name is Harry as you are in America,’ she said.

In the evening, when he came back, his mother asked, ‘How was your day Mohammad?’ He said, ‘My name is not Mohammad. I’m in America and my name is Harry.’ His mother slapped him and said angrily: ‘Aren’t you ashamed of trying t...

When Kermit the Frogs entertainment career came to an end, he enrolled in seminary school where he was ordained

Now he's a Pastor of Muppets

When I graduated high school, my parents enrolled me in medical research

It was a 4-year study of sleep deprivation and alcohol consumption.

Sure, they called it "college", but I knew otherwise.

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When I was in Preschool, my teacher told my mother that she thought I might be autistic and needed to be enrolled in a special class.

My mother only shrugged and said "I think he draws like shit, but if you want to put him in art class go for it."

My 70 year old father recently enrolled in college

His first year and he's already a senior.

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I recently enrolled my cat for beautiful butt competition

We won.

But everyone thinks it was a catastrophe!

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A King enrolled his donkey in a race & won

Local papers read:

“King’s ass won”

The king was so upset with this kind of publicity. So he gave the donkey to the queen.

The local papers then read:

"Queen has the best ass in town"

The king & queen were both upset..

Queen then sold the donkey to a far...

What do you call babies enrolled in the military?

Infantry.

I enrolled in a course called, “Basic Origami for Nitwits” and you’re probably thinking, “Why?”

Well, the answer is twofold...

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A woman enrolled in nursing school...

...is attending an anatomy class.

The subject of the day is Involuntary Muscles.

The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm.

"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."

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Tom walks on the street

Tom walks on the street and sees an old friend in a hurry with his hands full of books.

"Hey Dave. Long time no see. Where are you going with all those books?"

"I just enrolled in a university and I'm going home to study."

"And what are you studying?"

"Logic"

"Logi...

I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering...

I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case...

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Back when Pope John Paul II died, the Vatican College of Cardinals were faced with the responsibility of choosing a new pope for the Catholic Church...

... At first, they favored a British Cardinal by the name of Cardinal Nigel Mason.

Card. Mason had been a pilot in WWII, fighting Germany's Luftwaffe. He was decorated for his service, during which he shot down 12 Nazi fighter planes.

He himself was finally shot down and made a rough l...

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Do you own a lawnmower?

Two redneck friends, Jimbo and Billy Bob, wanted to go back to school, so they enrolled at the local community college and met with the dean of admissions. Jimbo is called in first.

Dean: "Well, I got the standard general education courses for you this coming semester, such as science and Eng...

A gynecologist decides it's time to hung up his speculum.

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 po...

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After 40 years as a gynecologist,

John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love—car mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in a car mechanics class and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. ...

Graduate degree fishing

So there’s a guy who wants a graduate degree, but he’s not sure what he wants to study. He remembers a time in his youth where he learned about all different types of fish and things used to catch fish. That memory intrigued him. So he started looking into marine biology, but thought, nah that’s not...

A gynecologist was getting tired of his job and decided to switch careers.

He'd always enjoyed tinkering with engines, so he enrolled in a school for car mechanics. When the class ended, the students were given their final exam: strip a car engine completely and reassemble it in perfect working order.
The gynecologist did his best-and was amazed to find he scored 150%. ...

I had ADD as a kid

So my parents enrolled me in a concentration camp

A man was being interviewed at a job interview...

... and the interviewer was thoroughly impressed.

The man was eloquent in speaking and seemed highly fit for the job.

However, one question lingered in the interviewer’s mind...

“So you seem very skilled and fit for the job. However, I have one question, why were you unemployed...

Sarah is a girl who was born with no body. No arms, no legs, not even a torso. Nothing below her neck.

In a major medical accomplishment, doctors develop a set of very small devices to function as her internal organs and install them in her neck. These keep her fully functional with exception of being able to walk or manipulate objects as if she had arms or legs.

Once she is released from the ...

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Billy goes to see Bobo the clown

Billy loves Bobo, he can barely contain his excitement. He sits front row and center as the show begins. Bobo comes out on stage and walks right up to little Billy.


"Hey there kid, what's your name?" Bobo asks.


"Billy!"


"Well hey Billy are you a horses head?"
...

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A theologician went to an isolated tribe...

The isolated Tiktik tribe living in the middle of the Borneo jungle had recently come into contact with the outside world. A theologician from a Christian university was sent to the Tiktiks to spread the word of the Bible. The Tiktik chief had quickly learned the English language after first contact...

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math.

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried
everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short,
everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took
Tommy down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the firstd...

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The Telling Tale of Oliver Tin

When he was young, Oliver Tin knew nothing about what he wanted to do, except that he wanted to do everything.

At the age of 5, he had already mastered reading, and had grown bored of all the literature he could find, fiction or not. Oliver Tin took this boredom as an obligation to produce wo...

Little Timmy was struggling very hard with his math classes

Little Timmy was struggling very hard with his math classes. His parents did everything and anything to help their son...private tutors, teacher meetings, and even asking the local Asian kid. Nothing worked.

Finally, in a last ditch effort they enrolled him into a small Catholic school to...

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The King of the Jungle [long] [nsfw]

The lion, the king of the jungle, once summoned all the animals to celebrate his new born child. Sure enough all the animals showed up and gazed with awe upon the famous lion's rock.

The lion roared fiercly and all animals awaited silently the big announcement of their king. After a brief mom...

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The Immortal Bard

*This is not my joke, it is actually a short story written by Isaac Asimov, but it is written like a joke. One that I found quite humorous. Hope it belongs here.*

"Oh, yes," said Dr. Phineas Welch, "I can bring back the spirits of the illustrious dead."

He was a little drunk, or maybe ...

A Chinese mother with a terrible stutter

There once was a Chinese woman named Wei, and her family had decided to move to America ever since Wei was 14 years of age. Though this was hard for Wei because her language transition didn't go over so well. She could speak clearly, but she'd always find herself stuttering on the last word.

...

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The Wasp who Won America's Heart (shaggy dog)

Deep in the wasp swamps of the wasp Florida keys, there lived a young wasp. Just as a proper wasp does, this wasp worked day and night for the hive. He worked and slaved and gave his all - but this wasp was no regular wasp, for within him was the ambition and the wisdom of a great, great wasp. So, w...

I knew they weren't fooling around

Little Sameer was failing in maths. His parents tried everything.

Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centres, but nothing helped. As a last resort, someone told them to try a Catholic School.

"Those nuns are tough" they said.

Sameer was soon enrolled at St. Mary's...

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The King and his donkey? Father Murphy tried that too...

[BringItOnFellas' previous version here](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2dru6u/a_king_enrolled_his_donkey_in_a_race_and_won/)

Father Murphy's parish was always scratching for the mortgage payment, until one day he came up with a plan: they would buy a racehorse, enter it in a few race...

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