How many jurors does it take to fill out one form?
Apparently more than 7.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I was helping a customer fill out some paperwork and he told me he didn't know his first name.
He said his whole life people just called him by his last name, "Johnson." He thought hard for a moment, then suddenly perked up. "Oh! You know what, I think it might be 'Fuckoff," he said. I raised an eyebrow at him. "Fuckoff?" He nodded. "Yeah, back in school I would approach the other kids and sa...
Fill out job applications in crayon...
...and if you don’t get hired, just blame it on your color.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I had a health form for my doctor to fill out today. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an old mercury thermometer.
“Shit,” he said. “Some asshole has my pen!”
I went down to the patent office trying to register some of my inventions earlier today and walked up to the main desk to sign in when the lady pulled out a form to fill out. She asked for my personal info, wrote it down and then asked me what I had invented...
I said, 'A folding bottle.'
She said, 'Okay. What do you call it?'
'What else do you have there?'
'A folding carton.'
'OK, what do you call it?'
She chuckled and said, 'Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds ...
When the Chinese fill out government forms...
Under "Occupation" do they write "Tibet"?
John was in the fertilized egg business.
He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company.
The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor.
“You are hired.” – the employer said. ”Give me your email address, and I’ll send you the application to fill out, as well as when you will start.”...
I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...
My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!" I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"
A stammering man walks up to a bible salesman.
"H-h-how is b-b-business g-going?" asks the man. "To be honest, not many people are into bibles these days," answers the salesman, "some people don't even answer their doors when they see me standing there." "T-t-that's a s-s-shame" says the man, "c-c-can I t-t-try f-for a d-d-day?" The biblesalesma...
A Joke from the Late Great Townes Van Zandt
A drunk is walking down the street and bumps into a cop.
The drunk says, “Man, they stole my car.”
The cop says, “Well where was it?”
The drunk says, “Right on the end of this key.”
The cop says, “You better to go down to the precinct and they’ll fill out all the proper ...
Goku gets into a car accident
and has to be rushed to the E.R. He has a piece of shrapnel stuck in his arm and is in extreme pain. He gets to the front desk and yells at the nurse "Help! I'm in extreme pain! I have shrapnel in my arm!"
The nurse looks at him calmly and says, "sure, but first you have to fill out this ins...
A man walks into a car dealership
A Russian man walks into a car dealership to buy a new car. The salesman says, "I am sorry sir, due to the war and sanctions, all cars are spoken for. I have a waiting list, but it is so long that it will take 10 years to get your new car."
The man says, "Well, I might as well get on the li...
So, last semester I met this guy in my business class
He was cool & an international student. His name was Ving and was from China. His English was really good for a second language, better than I could ever be learning a second language. We’d often hang out and I show him the sites and tourist destinations in my city. He's much cooler as well as b...
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.
“Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. "It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for "Name of your former bank."
After a slight h...