A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his

unholstered pistol and yelled "I have a 45 Caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who has been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out "you need more ammo!"

What do you call a guy with a pink shirt, pink shoes,and a pink 40 caliber?

Sir.

In a tragic accident, the circus' human cannonball was killed today.

When asked if he will find a replacement, the Ringmaster responded, "Where will I ever find another man of his caliber?"

What caliber is Chekhov's gun?

Catch-22

I was driving down the road when I passed a strip club that advertised it had "high caliber women".

To this day I still can't understand why they wouldn't want someone under 45 working there.

What is the favourite gun caliber of a german?

Nein millimeter.

What's a cheerleader's favorite fruit? (Popsicle stick caliber)

Pom-Pomegranate

A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus.

One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband was extremely dejected. The strong man asked him what he was going to do.

The husband answered, "This is a disaster. I don't know where I'm going to find another woman of her caliber."

UNBELIEVABLE!!! Woman Stops Grizzly Attack With 25 Caliber Pistol !

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship with an itsy bitsy shooter by a woman against a fierce predator.

What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself?

While out hiking in Alberta, Canada with my boyfriend, we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us...

A reporter in the old west.

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

Florida Woman Stops 12' Alligator with a .22 cal Beretta Pistol

\[Long\] This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

What's the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself?

Here's her story in her own words:

"While walking along the edge of a pon...

Following a particularly good year, the circus decided to spend their profits on a human cannonball exhibit

After the cannon was delivered, they realized that the manufacturer got the dimensions all wrong. The barrel was so narrow that only a child could fit inside, and a child would never be allowed to perform such a dangerous act.


Months went by and the cannon remained unused, until one day...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father and son go on a nature expedition in Alaska.

On their first day, they meet their guide who gives them a rundown of everything they can expect during their trip. During the conversation, the son notices a very large caliber pistol strapped to the ranger's side. "Wow, that's a big pistol" he comments, "What do you use it for?" "Well son, this is...

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, “Strip down, facing me.” Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws...

So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus...

The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another
man of your caliber!"

Why California is broke and Texas is not.

The governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the governor's dog, then bites the governor. The governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie Bambi and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.<...

Why do circuses rarely have human cannonballs anymore?

It's hard to find men of that caliber.

A hunter sat in a bar.

A hunter walks into a bar, bragging that he can recognize any kind of animal skin by touch alone. When no one seems impressed he adds that he's also able to identify the exact weapon used to kill the animal.

This intrigues the other guests and they decide to put his boast to the test. After w...

A mountain man walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills.

The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no-one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel and, if he could locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what caliber the bullet was that killed the animal.
The hunte...

The human cannonball informs the circus manager that he plans to retire at the end of season.

The distraught manager protests "Where am I going to find another employee of your caliber?"

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding...

..."Afternoon ma'am. May I see your license and registration?" The old lady wordlessly hands the officer these items. As the officer reaches for the papers, he takes observation of the old woman.

She wasn't just old, she was very old. Must have been in her mid 90's. The fact that she was spee...

The Human Cannonball shows up to the circus one day to tell the Ringmaster he's quitting

Upset, the Ringmaster pleads him not to leave; "Please, don't go!" he says, "Where will I ever find another man of your caliber?"

On an airplane to Alaska I was talking with the man next to me about fishing the rivers.

He asked if I'd thought about protecting myself from bears.

I proudly told him about the small caliber pistol I had for protection.

The man then asked "Have you filed off the sights?"

Edit: Spelling. I was home-schooled.

Confused I responded "No, why would I do that?"...

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