Acme Jokes - 6 Hilarious Acme Jokes

I've just been randomly flicking through the Acme Products website.

There seems to be an awful lot of negative feedback comments by user 'Wile E. Coyote'.

I resigned from my job at the Acme Helium factory.

I will not be spoken to in that tone ever again.

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with the wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very Truely Yours,
Acme Costume Co

The man thinks this is terrilbe because they have just emphasized his wooden leg an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inspired by post on reddit/ technology

Police stop a guy.
-Name
Wankbreak
-Excuse me?
Wankbreak....Fred Wankbreak.
-Listen mate you're coming down to the station if you carry on like that.
No seriously I work in the Warehouse over there give them a ring they'll vouch for me.
Cop sighs but can do without the paperwork...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The creation of a pussy, improved version.

Each man was a master-of-craft at his trade,

Now by God in his wisdom a task they'd been laid.

See them gathered together, by calling divine

to fashion a vulva of peerless design.

The first man, a butcher of eminent skill

took a hold of his bla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.