UPJOKE
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How do you make a potato leek soup?

Fill a potato with soup, then poke a hole in it.

Did you hear about the bird that carried a leek?

Never mind, its too Farfetch'd.

I love potato leek soup

So I'm gathering my ingredients and as I approach the leafy items in produce there are two blue hairs gabbing right in front of the leeks.

I pause politely while wide balling the ladies with gaping eyes.

"Uh, pardon me ladies but I must take a leek."

I walked into the local supermarket,

I was walking around for about 30 minutes just browsing the items and items of stuff. Finally turned a corner to the vegetable isle, I spotted a leak on the floor. So I went to the staff desk and reported a leak in isle 6, anyway eventually someone came out to look at it.

They told me to poi...

Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk

I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'

Why did the Secret Service not employ any Welsh agents?

Too many leeks

My kid and I wrote this together: Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?

Because he took a leek!

(Please don’t kick us out, just lettuce leave)

I was recently made redundant from my job at the Greengrocers



They gave me a months Celery, and four leeks in lieu of notice

What vegetables are a sailors enemy?

leeks!

What is plumber's least favourite vegetable?

Leeks.

I got kicked out of a grocery store for inappropriate behavior in the produce section.

All I did was take a leek.

What's a plumbers least favorite vegetable?

A leek

Did you know some vegetables are nevee transported by sea?

Because having a leek in the boat would be very bad.

What vegetable does captain Jack Sparrow fear the most?

The leek.

Did you hear about the cargo ship that sunk while shipping food?

Apparently there was a leek in the boat.

Some shallots were hired to break some scallions out of Alcatraz...

But when the job was done and they were back on the boat, the realized that they had also sprung a leek by mistake.

A Barge Carrying Vegetables Sinks In a Harbor...

The disaster report claimed the boat had too many leeks.

Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed?

He got caught taking a leek

I just got banned from the farmer’s market.

They caught me trying to take a leek.

What vegetable can you add to a heavy pot of water to make it lighter?

Leeks!

What Vegetable Do Plumbers Hate?

Leeks.
Add a few peas and you have a real mess.

A botanist visited an onion farm and said to the farmer:

"I'm sorry but I think your ground is leeking"

What is Donald Trump's favorite vegetable?

Leeks

What is a plumber's favorite vegetable?

A leek

*my little brother gave me this

A shoplifter was caught in the toilets of a local greengrocers this morning.

He was trying to take a leek.

Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river.

Turns out his boat was full of leeks.

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