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Leek Jokes

Ideas for Physical Puns/Jokes?

I enjoy doing physical puns/jokes to brighten up work, but I'm running out of ideas. Any ideas people have would be greatly appreciated!

I work in a school, so child-friendly jokes would be best.

Examples of ones I've done so far:

- putting a leek in the cupboard and panicking a...

I love potato leek soup

So I'm gathering my ingredients and as I approach the leafy items in produce there are two blue hairs gabbing right in front of the leeks.

I pause politely while wide balling the ladies with gaping eyes.

"Uh, pardon me ladies but I must take a leek."

How do you make a potato leek soup?

Fill a potato with soup, then poke a hole in it.

Did you hear about the bird that carried a leek?

Never mind, its too Farfetch'd.

A robber that really had to pee walked into a grocery store

A robber that really had to pee walked into a grocery store to steal some wares.

The cashier says “please, take anything!”

The robber said “I’m just gonna take a leek”

I walked into the local supermarket,

I was walking around for about 30 minutes just browsing the items and items of stuff. Finally turned a corner to the vegetable isle, I spotted a leak on the floor. So I went to the staff desk and reported a leak in isle 6, anyway eventually someone came out to look at it.

They told me to poi...

Someone told me that the best pokemon was the bird that holds a leek stalk

I said 'That's a little farfetch'd'

My kid and I wrote this together: Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?

Because he took a leek!

(Please don’t kick us out, just lettuce leave)

What vegetables are a sailors enemy?

leeks!

I was recently made redundant from my job at the Greengrocers



They gave me a months Celery, and four leeks in lieu of notice

What's a plumbers least favorite vegetable?

A leek

What is plumber's least favourite vegetable?

Leeks.

I got kicked out of a grocery store for inappropriate behavior in the produce section.

All I did was take a leek.

Did you know some vegetables are nevee transported by sea?

Because having a leek in the boat would be very bad.

Did you hear about the cargo ship that sunk while shipping food?

Apparently there was a leek in the boat.

Some shallots were hired to break some scallions out of Alcatraz...

But when the job was done and they were back on the boat, the realized that they had also sprung a leek by mistake.

Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed?

He got caught taking a leek

A Barge Carrying Vegetables Sinks In a Harbor...

The disaster report claimed the boat had too many leeks.

I just got banned from the farmer’s market.

They caught me trying to take a leek.

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

What vegetable can you add to a heavy pot of water to make it lighter?

Leeks!

What Vegetable Do Plumbers Hate?

Leeks.
Add a few peas and you have a real mess.

A botanist visited an onion farm and said to the farmer:

"I'm sorry but I think your ground is leeking"

What is Donald Trump's favorite vegetable?

Leeks

What is a plumber's favorite vegetable?

A leek

*my little brother gave me this

Read about that farmer who lost a whole load of crops when crossing the river.

Turns out his boat was full of leeks.

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