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Kale Jokes

What does the kale farmer say to the meat farmer?

Hi.

(Original joke from my 10-year-old son).

Two well dressed lawyers, Milind Kale and Ram Jethmalani went to an expensive restaurant...

They ordered 2 coffees
and then took out sandwiches from their briefcases to eat...

Waitress: Sorry Sir !!! But you can't eat your OWN food here... Its against the rules ...

The lawyers quietly looked at each other and
EXCHANGED their sandwiches & continued their meals!
<...

Why should you cook kale in coconut oil?

Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.

If you drink 2 glasses of Kale juice daily, it will destroy your belly fat and

Your desire to live too.

Kale.

I prefer mine with a silent "K"

I have now survived 21,364 days and 13 hours without using essential oils or eating kale.

Thank you for your prayers and support during these trying times.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a nazi's favorite vegetable?

Ze kale

A dispute between two vegans at green grocers shop turned violent when one of them started throwing a leaf vegetable with somewhat jagged leaves at the other! The second vegan responded by picking them up and hurling them back!

It was either kale or be kaled.

Fun Facts about ants

So as you may or may not know, ants have many breeds, but above these breeds, two general groups can be seen in ants around the world. These groups are the Macro ants (Big ants), and the Micro ants (Small ants).

Multiple different breeds of ants can be found in each of the two groups (Such ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man begins to hear a voice in his head,

quiet, but insistent, it repeats urgently, "Sell your house, take all your money, go to Las Vegas." The man ignores it at first, he sees a therapist, does yoga and eats kale, but nothing stops the voice from repeating the same sentence, "Sell your house, take all your money, go to Las Vegas."
...

What did the homicidal vegetarian say?

I would kale for some salad.

Just started my Vegan diet.

They're a bit chewy, but better than kale.

What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies?

Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!

Told my Vegan Friend to stop with the Puns.

He said oh kale no

What did the creators of Good Burger call their vegan cooking show?

Quinoa and Kale

I dunno why people say hurtful things like...

"Wanna go for a run?"
or "Try this kale."

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