Joker Jokes

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"



Then he beats him to death.

When he's riding his Harley

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull one out of your bag at school, everyone suddenly wants to be your friend.

The No-Bell prize!

Societea

Young guy gets sentenced to 15 years in prison and is assigned to a cell with a lifer. The old man explains the rules, including the no-talking policy in the cafeteria.
At dinner that night, one of the inmates stands up and yells out, "28!" All the other inmates laugh loudly and then resume eatin... read more

The Joker: Say something funny, or die!

Batman: No you.

The Joker: I... you... how... *laughs hysterically*

Batman: That wasn't funny.

The Joker: *commits suicide*

But no matter how many decks of cards I search through, I still can’t find my face on a single one.

because there was a board outside stating "no funny business"

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

It's the names of the people who worked on the movie.

He was convicted of involuntary man's laughter.

The ones that tell complete jokes, and the ones that

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in ... read more

I took her to a party hosted by my new boss. Nobody had met her yet. My boss comes over and says it's nice to meet your wife. She looks at me and says," you're married?"

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That’s Arkham’s Razor.

The name is Joaquin.

"Wanna know how I got these cards?"

We live in a sobriety

ahead of the curve

I just got the jest of it.

Joaquin in a winter wonder land.

Arkham Hairstylum

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.

Got 'Em City.

The Joker because he would make John Wicks pencil disappear

Joaquin in the winter wonderland.

Because the rules said it needed to contain at least 6 characters and include at least 1 capital!

What a joker!!!

Deez batnutz.

GOTHAM!

He turned to me and said "You wanna know how I got these scarves?"

"Why sew Sirius?"

WHAT !!?? YA GOTTA BE JOAQUIN !!!

It was a Joaquin.

I guess we know who the real joker is...

They just wanna watch the world burn

Walking Phoenix

He has plenty of room in his Joaquin closet.

Halfway through the show he turned to me and said, "Maybe I'm just out of touch but this show could be so much better. Sal, Joe, and Q aren't bad, but Murr just makes me want to scream."

So I said, "Ok. Boo Murr."

Because he overcame the dark side

But sometimes he’s his own worst enemy.

Heath Ledger.

Because there is no Joker.

Joker walks in a bar and takes a sit.

Batman comes disguised as a barman to take the order.

Joker - "Can you give me a martini with ice?"

Batman taking of the costume - " No, I will serve you justice"

A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys

To find out the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful Lady.
“I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the $75, 000 asking price,” said the man.
“Yet I just heard you close the deal for $65,000 to that lovely young lady over there. You insiste... read more

But it's more likely that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

Near Corner Brook.....

They drop the 14' aluminum boat in a nice local lake, fire up the 9.9 and go looking for a good spot.

After several hour of no bites they finally find a shoal and start catching fish.

After a bit Stan says to Eddy" I need to go to the can, we need to go ... read more

# Alaska

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'

Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous va... read more

To his surprise, he sees that the Joker is there too.

"He must be up to something," he thinks.

And so he sneaks up behind him, knocks him out, and puts him in a back room.

When walks out, he sees the Joker again.

"How did he recover so quickly?"

Once again he kno... read more

In the *Sword Art Online* universe, there was someone who got out of the real-world military as a captain, but someone heard them wrong and thought that they said "chaplain." So, naturally, they got the nickname "Cap" and, naturally, people started asking if random stuff was a sin or not. Cap went a... read more

The foreman (Greg) is unsure how a blind guy can work at a lumber yard and expresses his concerns.

Dale explains that bind people usually have heightened senses in the other areas. In his case his sense of smell is extra keen.

Greg tells him Dale that he doesn't understand how that wi... read more

At night in a hotel room, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep: they tell various political jokes. He tries to scare them:


"The KGB is listening to everything here!"


Those two just laugh and continue. Then he goes out and asks the room attendant to bring to the r... read more

Like 30 or 40 times

-The Joker

One day, he’s on his way home from work, when he gets the call that his wife has gone into labour. In a panic, he races to get to the hospital, but swerves his car and crashes into the ditch. When he wakes up, he finds himself in the hospital, with his brother Jack, an irascible practical joker, l... read more

After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks,
“Will you give a talk next Sunday in Church?”
The new convert replies, “Sure, but what would you like me to give my talk on?”
“On anything ... read more

[Disclaimer: I don't know whether this counts as a joke, if not please tell me which subreddit would be suitable, 'cause it's actually a pretty fun "story"]

First question: how long did the Hundred Years War last?

a) 99 years

b) 116 years

c) 100 years

d) 150 years<... read more

"Why, from you of course, dear Heinrich!" Beethoven answered.

Heinrich slapped his thigh in delight. "Oh, what a joker you are, master! A genius like you inspired by a dullard like me! That's a good one. Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah*! Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah!*"

When Batman cracks a joke...
He becomes the joker

Without Russian sports, there's no Anti-Doping Agency

Lawyer: my client is stuck in a penny

Judge: what

Lawyer: he is in a cent

Judge: he is in a cent?

Lawyer and client leave the courtroom doing the joker and spider man dance

"I'll bet," said a prankster, "that I can get an invitation."

The wager was accepted, and our prankster went to see the rich man the next day, at a time when he knew that the miser would be at the table with his family.

He rang the bell, and told the servant who opened the door that h... read more

If you have to dissect it, it's probably already dead.

See, because a common practice in laboratories, whether inhabited by students or professionals, is to dissect an animal, usually a frog, to understand the internal workings of it's body. Of course, this animal would be in a lot of pain if... read more