Joker to Batman: "Hey Batman, wanna hear a joke?"

"Yeah sure."

Joker: "Ok, parental love".

Batman: "I don't get it.."

"exactly."

Jason Todd walks into a bar, where the Joker is behind the counter. He says "Jason, you know I can't serve Robins here"

Jason asks "Why?" and Joker replies "this is a CROW bar!"



Then he beats him to death.

The Joker is in a room with Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, and has a gun with one bullet, who does he shoot?

Neither. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Batman lay battered and bruised on the ground as the joker walked off basking in his victory

Robin approaches Batman and kicks him!

Batman: “why did you do that?”

Robin: “looked like you could use a side kick!”

The Joker movie was just confirmed to have an R rating.

That's good because without the 'R' it would just be a Joke.

When does joker not plot crimes?

When he's riding his Harley

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Joker send Harley Quinn A Photo of Robin?

She asked him for a dick pic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the Joker call masturbation?

Beating the Red Hood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a joker says jokes, what does an antijoker say?

I'm batman

(Originally posted by u/BrodesBallBag in r/AntiJokes)

This should hace been a quote from the Joker movie

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull one out of your bag at school, everyone suddenly wants to be your friend.

You all have heard about Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime.

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

What drink does the Joker hate?

Societea

You know that dude who played the Joker, right? He's starring in a new zombie flick.

The Joaquin Dead.

What did the Joker say while playing poker?

"Wanna know how I got these cards?"

I feel bad for the jokers that don't get this reference.

Knock knock

Who's there?

Apitydef

Apitydef who?

Ok there, Mr. T.

The Joker was walking around snowy streets of Gotham

Joaquin in the winter wonderland.

Where does The Joker get his hair done?

Arkham Hairstylum

From the current state of America. The movie Joker was

ahead of the curve

The Joker finally captured Batman

The Joker: Say something funny, or die!

Batman: No you.

The Joker: I... you... how... *laughs hysterically*

Batman: That wasn't funny.

The Joker: *commits suicide*

You're on your death bed and You're known as a practical joker in the family. What do you say as your last joke with your dying breath?

The cornyer the better!!

My friends keep calling me a joker

But no matter how many decks of cards I search through, I still can’t find my face on a single one.

What award was given to the best Knock Knock joker?

The No-Bell prize!

When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.

That's Arkham's Razor.

What was the Jokers catchphrase during the prohibition?

We live in a sobriety

My friend said I'm starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman.

What a joker!

I figured out the ending of Joker

It's the names of the people who worked on the movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did joker say when harley requested for sex?

You wouldn’t get it

This Halloween my friends and I are going as The Joker

One will be the space cowboy, one will be the gangster of love, and I’ll go as Maurice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Technically we're all Jokers

Cause we're all getting fucked over by a bat man.

What did Batman show the Joker when he dropped his batpants?

Deez batnutz.

GOTHAM!

what do you call it when the joker takes a quick stroll?

walking phoenix

Not a joke....

I'd like to thank everyone here in r/Jokes.
Everyday I get from here my share of laughing and making others laugh. I think having good mood is the most important thing in life. I find light for my heart and soul here, everyday.

Whenever some of you feel sad, just enter this sub and rememb...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the Joker say after he paid depressed prostitutes to come over to his house?

"All I have is negative thots"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

 

Iron-man thinks about Pepper Potts hangs 5-gallon bucket on his shlong and walks 5 yards. Everybody praises him.

 


Spiderman thinks about Gwen Stacy hangs 20-gallon ke...

To me, I think it was the right idea to give that new joker movie an R rating

Without it the whole film would seem like one big “*Joke*”

I took my Grandfather to see the Impractical Jokers stand-up show.

Halfway through the show he turned to me and said, "Maybe I'm just out of touch but this show could be so much better. Sal, Joe, and Q aren't bad, but Murr just makes me want to scream."

So I said, "Ok. Boo Murr."

Clowns to the left of me. Jokers to the right. Here I am....

Not dressed up for the office party.

Joaquin Phoenix won an award for weight loss transformation into Arthur Fleck in "Joker".

Atrophy.

The Joker kidnapped some Scandanavian actors. He called the Gotham Police Department and said,

"Ya wanna know where I got these Skarsgårds?"

Prison Joker

Young guy gets sentenced to 15 years in prison and is assigned to a cell with a lifer. The old man explains the rules, including the no-talking policy in the cafeteria.
At dinner that night, one of the inmates stands up and yells out, "28!" All the other inmates laugh loudly and then resume eatin...

Joker's Joke which made Batman laugh

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... And one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in ...

Where did the Joker prank Batman?

Got 'Em City.

The Joker says to Batman: Have you seen Noe ?

He asks: Who's Noe ?

The Joker replies: Noe Mama.

How come the Joker can have so many different suits?

He has plenty of room in his Joaquin closet.

I saw The Joker working at a winter apparel store.

He turned to me and said "You wanna know how I got these scarves?"

Three men suddenly become aware they are in the set up to a joke. The first man says something clever. The second does something stupid. The third tries to kill Batman.

I guess we know who the real joker is...

A blind guy (Dale) goes to a lumber yard looking for a job. Once he finds the freemans office he introduces himself and asks for a job.

The foreman (Greg) is unsure how a blind guy can work at a lumber yard and expresses his concerns.

Dale explains that bind people usually have heightened senses in the other areas. In his case his sense of smell is extra keen.

Greg tells him Dale that he doesn't understand how that wi...

What is The Joker's Native American name?

Walking Phoenix

A Robin walks into a crowbar.

Like 30 or 40 times

-The Joker

Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns?

Because when he was young, the Joker's father said
"Let's put a simile on that face!"

Batman and the Joker are in the retirement home together, working on crafts projects. Batman looks at Joker's cross-stitch of the night sky and asks, "Why'd you leave out the Dog Star?" Joker answers...

"Why sew Sirius?"

In the Mormon Church there is a family that has recently been baptized.

After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks,
“Will you give a talk next Sunday in Church?”
The new convert replies, “Sure, but what would you like me to give my talk on?”
“On anything ...

Batman took some flak going to the Police Ball dressed as the Joker

But sometimes he’s his own worst enemy.

Joker walks in a bar

Joker walks in a bar and takes a sit.

Batman comes disguised as a barman to take the order.

Joker - "Can you give me a martini with ice?"

Batman taking of the costume - " No, I will serve you justice"

What did the joker say to the wispy ice cloud?

Why so cirrus?

Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker?

Because he overcame the dark side

Without the Joker, there's no Batman. Without Frazier, there's no Ali.

Without Russian sports, there's no Anti-Doping Agency

How is a joke like a frog?

If you have to dissect it, it's probably already dead.

See, because a common practice in laboratories, whether inhabited by students or professionals, is to dissect an animal, usually a frog, to understand the internal workings of it's body. Of course, this animal would be in a lot of pain if...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the joker say to the thief?

Jimi Hendrix is the best fucking guitar player ever!

Hillary and Donald are just like Joker and Harley Quinn...

A multi billion dollar industry is going out of their ways to make them look like good guys

In a hotel room at night, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep...

At night in a hotel room, two neighbors do not let a third one fall asleep: they tell various political jokes. He tries to scare them:


"The KGB is listening to everything here!"


Those two just laugh and continue. Then he goes out and asks the room attendant to bring to the r...

"Master Ludwig," said Beethoven's manservant one day, "where do you get your inspiration from?"

"Why, from you of course, dear Heinrich!" Beethoven answered.

Heinrich slapped his thigh in delight. "Oh, what a joker you are, master! A genius like you inspired by a dullard like me! That's a good one. Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah*! Ha-ha-ha-*haaaah!*"

My friend rip me this joke and I can’t stop laughing

Lawyer: my client is stuck in a penny

Judge: what

Lawyer: he is in a cent

Judge: he is in a cent?

Lawyer and client leave the courtroom doing the joker and spider man dance

Joker is actually a very terrible movie....

No it is not , just Joaquin

My 4 year old nephew just came up with this joke and proceeded to laugh for 20 minutes after saying it...

When Batman cracks a joke...
He becomes the joker

People in town had noticed that a certain miser never invited anybody to dinner.

"I'll bet," said a prankster, "that I can get an invitation."

The wager was accepted, and our prankster went to see the rich man the next day, at a time when he knew that the miser would be at the table with his family.

He rang the bell, and told the servant who opened the door that h...

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