What did the telegraph operator say to kids pranking him?

This is used for work, stop.

This is not a game, stop.

I hooked my blind friend up with a guy in a Pennywise mask as a prank

They hit it off last night.
She totally didn't see IT coming.

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My wife pranked me this morning. She crushed my Viagra pill and put in my eggs, and poured some MiraLax in my milk.

I didn't know if I was coming or going!

Old lady gets into a Merzedes-Benz taxi cab

As she hops in, the driver asks her where she's going. She gives him an adress, as she's just arrived to town to visit family.

They keep going for a bit, when the old lady notices the very characteristic Mercedes-Benz ornament emblem mounted on the hood.

"So what is that thing for?" s...

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On a train in the Soviet Union

Three comrades travel in the same room in a long distance sleeper train. One comrade is reading a newspaper, while the other two tell political anecdotes. The first comrade decides to prank them. He steps out, and orders three cups of tea to be brought in their room in exactly 10 minutes. Then he co...

Mario was sick of jumping around all day

He felt like he should be more politically involved. A few weeks ago, his friend Toad helped him set up a TV (mostly for watching trashy reality shows), but Mario became obsessed with US news networks. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, you name it. He had heard before of American democracy, and found it prefera...

I just thought of the ultimate April Fool's Prank. Let me spell it out for you.

I T O U T F O R Y O U

In Barcelona, there's a common prank where spicy peppers are hidden inside kiwi fruits, and then the 'victim' is tricked into eating them

Nobody expects the Spanish in-kiwi Sichuan

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people.

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him ...

I dunno, seems like a joke to me

Never use poems in evil ways. Well I'm

gonna do exactly that. I might as well

give you the knowledge that

you will be pranked **hard**. So leave. Still reading? You don't give

up easily. You should've

never read this. Let me just tell you that you're

gonna h...

Lex Luthor invents a device that affects Superman's hearing

This way his crime-fighting abilities would be severely limited.

One Metropolis resident anxiously screams: "Help, Superman! They're robbing a bank!"

"Who's stopping a prank?", replies Superman, confused.

Another one begs: "Please help, Superman! Someone stole my car!"

"T...

A 911 operator gets a call.

"911 what's your emergency?" the operator asks.

"I'm smoking." replied a middle-aged woman.

"Sorry, ma'am but you shouldn't be calling 911. Please contact an expert if you need help." The operator hangs up the phone.

The phone rings again.

"911, what's your emergency?" t...

A hotel in Soviet Russia

Four strangers have to share a room. But they get acquainted with each other, one of them cracks open a bottle of vodka and they start drinking and telling stories. One of them wants to sleep, but the others don't care about him and keep telling more and more raunchy stories and political jokes. So ...

[OC] What do you call a doctor that pranks it's patients?

A sike-ologist.

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Boris Johnson dies...

His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Johnso...

Dad's Shortcut

Dad used to tell us about the time he took a short cut home on Halloween. He grew up on a farm in western New York state, and at the time Halloween meant going out with his friend, Tommy, to do pranks. They had been out pranking drivers by tying a couple tin cans to the two ends of a long string, ...

A woman wanted to prank her husband

So she left a note for the husband to read after he comes home from work, the note said that she's leaving and she doesn't want to come back, and then she hid under the bed to see his reaction once he reads it.

The husband soon comes in and reads the note, he then took a pen out of his pocket...

Did you hear? They caught the dog who was making those prank phonecalls!

They just checked his collar ID.

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia and asks for a room. The receptionist tells him that they only place left is in a shared room with four beds, the bathroom is on corridor and the other 3 beds are already occupied. He accepts it, goes to his room and tries to fall asleep but the other 3 gues...

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

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Two tiny, 3-inch tall men are walking through the woods

One says to the other "hey, look, a frog! Let's go prank it"

The other guy says "First pranking wizards, now frogs? No! I'm sick of your shit, Phil!"

PRANK CALL I did when I was a kid.

PHONE RINGS

Person Answers - "Hello?"

Prankster - "Is this the suicide hotline?"

Person Answers - "Uh...No. Sorry you have the wrong number."

Prankster - I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!

CLICK

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There were once three brothers...

They loved to go hunting together. All season long they would get up at the crack of dawn to hunt deer in the woods. However, the youngest brother had chronic bowel issues. He would try to get his “business” done before they started their hunting, but sometimes he would have to take some time in the...

Why did Africa pull a prank on Europe?

He thought he was GHANA get away with it. KENYA blame him? He's BENIN worse situations before. OMAN, I gotta stop. I can't BELIZE i'm saying these words right now. There's NORWAY anybody is gonna find this funny. Nothing ISRAEL to me anymore. How much do you want TIBET this will get downvoted to obl...

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A boy was watching TV with his father.

A boy was watching TV with his father when his father asked him to go upstairs to fetch his slippers. When the boy went upstairs, the boy saw two of his sister's friends and decided to pull a prank on them. The boy said to them, "my dad said he is gonna fuck both of you two." The two girls, not beli...

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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday by sneaking into the chicken coop and replacing every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats the shit out of the peacock.

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April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

Why don't chefs in Denmark play pranks in the kitchen?

Because no one thinks a Dane cook joke is funny.

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My wife decided to prank me today.

I entered the room, and she was lying there motionless. I tried to wake her up, but there was no response. There didn't seem to be any breathing as I felt for a breath. Realizing that she's dead I decided to go in for one last quickie. As I was about to enter her, she jumped out of the bed scaring ...

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I was at my buddy's bachelor party, when him and his brother handed me a glass full of yellow, lukewarm liquid. "Drink it!" they said giggling. It was only when I smelt it that I realized the prank the bastards were trying to pull...

Budweiser

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Two boys are walking through the woods and one of them gets an idea of a funny prank.

He picks up some rabbit turds and after a few minutes of walking, stops, and says, "want some smart-pills?" The other boy said "sure" takes a couple, and swallows them whole.

"I don't feel any smarter."
"Take a couple more." And he does.
Moments later, eyes coming to realization,"Say, ...

[Arrested for prank calling]

Cop: You get one phone call

Me: Ok *excited

*cop's phone rings*

Me: Is your refrigerator running

A man receives a phone call late in the evening...

He picks up the phone and there is a strange voice at the other end. The voice says “I am the Vinder Viper, and I am coming in one year” he writes the call off as a prank.

But in six months, he gets another call. It says the same thing, “I am the Vinder Viper, and I am coming in six months”. ...

My danish friend pranked me by giving me laxative cookies

I never thought he'd stroop so low

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A woman decides to prank his husband

So she writes a letter that goes like this:


"Im sick of your shit. Im leaving you, I cant stand you anymore, do not look for me, You are the worst mistake of my life"


She leaves it on his nightstand and hides under the bed to see his reaction.

When the husband arrives, ...

A and C were going to prank their friend...

...but they just letter B

Kid Ink walks into a barbershop

The barber isn’t in tune with modern pop culture, only knowing bits and pieces, so he doesn’t recognize the rapper.

Kid Ink decides to take advantage of this and play a harmless prank.

Kid Ink sits down in the barber chair. The barber, wanting to get to know his client better, breaks...

Why didn’t the marsupial fall for the prank?

He knew it was a Kanga-ruse

Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running??

Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog...

My school does these things at the end of the year called "Senior Pranks".

Usually the same routine, with some alterations each year. Pull the fire alarm, play inappropriate music over the loud speaker, and throw a couple smoke bombs here and there. I'm always surprised how the local retirement home doesn't threaten to sue anyone.

Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April....

....but that's fine, my life is already a joke.

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At a bar out in Arizona, some guys from the city were having a few beers

when an old, grizzled cowboy rode in on a horse. This guy was classic. Looked like Sam Elliot as he tied up the horse and came in, sat down at the bar and said, "I'll have a whiskey."

The city guys at the table were laughing at the old cowboy, one of them asked, "Is that your horse, or your g...

I was home alone, staying with a friend, on holiday in Germany when the phone suddenly rang...

“I am the viper. I am coming in three days.”
I thought it was a prank call, so gave it no thought. I laughed at the peculiarity and hung up.
The next day, I was alone in my friend’s house again, when the phone rang for a second time.
“I am the viper. I am coming in two days.”
This time, ...

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Saw this penis prank joke at the front page and reminded me of little johnny...

who wrote on the black board at classroom: "Johnny has an enormous penis".

After seeing it, the teacher erased it and said: Johnny, stay after class! I need to talk to you.

The following day, on the blackboard: "Advertisement is the soul of every business".

What is it called when shapes play pranks on each other?

Geometrick.

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For the last time, NO! NO! NOOOO!

So, there's this man. He's young, healthy, reasonably attractive, good job, etc.

Only problem is, he has a 25 inch penis. This might might sound great if you're a 12 year old, but it soon becomes the bane of his existence. Every time he meets a nice lady, eventually things lead to the bedroom...

I scared off my best friend as a prank today...

He was so terrified that he ransomware.

Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer."

Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"

Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"

Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"

Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."

Mothers Day Prank Suggestion

I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:

Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower pot (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags...

Wedding

The wedding date was set and the groom's three pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their wedding night.

The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed would give them a chuckle or two.

The electrician decided to wire ...

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Pranking the police

A couple of pranksters broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment.

A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

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A hunting party prank

Three hunters return to their camp with a freshly killed deer. They set about to prep it, when one of them tells the others, "I'll be right back; nature calls."

The other two continue their work, and after a long time has passed, they get worried and decide to check on their partner. The head...

Kid pulls prank on teachers seat with glue. Teacher dies due to...

Asphyxiation.

Everytime I pull a prank on Niagara

She falls for it

I regularly mess with the owner of the restaurant across the road.

I myself am a restaurant owner and regularly go into the restaurant across the street to mess with the owners head.

It started out small, changing the salt in the salt shakers for sugar. Removing the labels from tin cans so they wouldn’t know what’s in them. During this whole time the owner ...

The phone at a local bar started to ring

“Hello?” The bartender asked.

“Hi I’m looking for someone. Last name King, first name Joe?” The mysterious voice asked.

The bartender started to remember the mischievous pranks on TV that started like this. Angry, he started to go off, “Oh, so you think you’re funny, huh? You joking ar...

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

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prank for a guy with multiple girls in the house

Take a piss and toss in a couple pieces of toilet paper. Don't flush. Repeat. Watch with amusement as all the ladies of the house argue with each other over who isn't flushing the toilet.

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Two hunters are out in the middle of deer season.

One hunter suddenly feels an intense urge to answer natures call and excuses himself to the bushes.

The second hunter, remaining in the deer blind, finds his prey, kills, and cleans the kill without his friend ever showing up. He goes off to find his buddy, soon discovers him asleep, sitting...

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F**k off Bill

A software engineer was waiting in the VIP lounge for his flight from JFK airport. He was supposed to meet his colleague for a coffee before he flew home, but the colleague was late. He spotted Bill Gates sitting alone at a table and walked over and said – Wow, I can't believe it's Bill Gates. Nice ...

A father had a very rowdy son

He would never listen to his father, always disobeying rules, and being rebellious at every chance. The father often told the boy, "You should be more respectful of others", to no avail as his words fell on deaf ears. His pranks were, quite frankly, annoying to the neighbours, but what did the son c...

Red Car Day

Red car day - in Honor of my Dad

My dad died 7 years ago. He was a worker in a factory in NYC during the by-gone, post-war era when times were good and jobs were plenty. The guys he worked with were all good friends over the years and enjoyed harmless pranks against one another to pass the ti...

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There's this old couple, and every morning as he wakes up, the man lets out an unbelievably loud fart in bed.

The wife has been putting up with this for years, and is very annoyed by it. She keeps telling him, "One day, you're going to fart your guts out." The man laughs it off and continues to wake his wife up with a fart every morning. Then, Thanksgiving rolls around. The wife gets up early to prepare the...

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

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Getting old....

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time, "like sitting around the pool and drinking wine isn't a good thing."

Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation.

She is "only thinking of me," s...

The company sent my department on a work trip

The last night before heading back home, we decided to play a prank to one of our colleges - we put a pack of condoms in his suitcase. When he got home, his wife started unpacking his stuff, and found our "gift". Without skipping a beat, he explained: "We were all given pack of condoms when we arriv...

Two nuns are walking in the abbey

The first nun says to the other “I played a prank on the priest last night.”

“Who, the handsome one?” the other nun replies.

The first nun nods. “I poked a hole in his condom.”

The second nun faints.

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