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My grandma likes to prank us by pretending to choke on her food

It’s an old gag

PRANK CALL I did when I was a kid.

PHONE RINGS

Person Answers - "Hello?"

Prankster - "Is this the suicide hotline?"

Person Answers - "Uh...No. Sorry you have the wrong number."

Prankster - I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!

CLICK

You know what would be a hilarious prank?

Make people study for 18 years and dont give them a job.

What do you say after you prank a snail?

Escargottem

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A man’s wife was attempting to prank him.

A mans wife was attempting to prank him.

She decided that her twin should have sex with him as a prank, and so one day she hid under the bed and called her husband over with the lights off to the bedroom whilst her twin was on the bed.

The man had little light and never noticed a thin...

What did they say to the first guy to pull off an April fools day prank?

Jesus! I thought you were dead!

The court jester decided to play a prank

So he got a bucket of coal dust from the blacksmith and rigged it over a doorway.

Soon enough Sir Lancelot walks up in his shiniest silver armor. He'd spent the entire morning polishing it to a mirror finish. As soon as he walks through the doorway, a trip wire dumps the bucket of coal dust ...

A priest opens his confessional panel to a young boy.

The boy says, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What have you done, my son?"
He replies, "I threw pickles into the well."
The priest seems a little confused but says, "Very well. Say three Hail Marys and you will be forgiven."

Four more boys follow and say the...

An army grunt is telling a story about finding a scorpion in his tent…

A marine, an army grunt, and an airman are having a beer and the army grunt is telling this story about how one time he found a scorpion in his tent. Marine asks “what’d you do?”, and the grunt says he crushed it with his boot and flung it out the flap. The marine laughs and says “what a sissy”. The...

Cap gets pranked at breakfast

In the *Sword Art Online* universe, there was someone who got out of the real-world military as a captain, but someone heard them wrong and thought that they said "chaplain." So, naturally, they got the nickname "Cap" and, naturally, people started asking if random stuff was a sin or not. Cap went a...

When you give your friend a broken condom as a prank and

now you have another brother

A woman wanted to prank her husband

So she left a note for the husband to read after he comes home from work, the note said that she's leaving and she doesn't want to come back, and then she hid under the bed to see his reaction once he reads it.

The husband soon comes in and reads the note, he then took a pen out of his pocket...

Why does Bart Simpson always prank call Moe?

Because he's a Bart ender

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April fools day is cancelled

as no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on right now

[Arrested for prank calling]

Cop: You get one phone call

Me: Ok *excited

*cop's phone rings*

Me: Is your refrigerator running

What happened when the pilot pulled a prank on the sky diver?

The skydiver fell for it!

What did the telegraph operator say to kids pranking him?

This is used for work, stop.

This is not a game, stop.

A grandfather and grandson are taking a walk around the yard after a rainstorm.

Seeing worms all over the sidewalk the grandfather decided to play a little prank on his grandson. "Billy," he says "I'll give you ten dollars if you can take one of those worms and put it back in it's hole."

Thinking this to be impossible, he watched as Billy played around with a worm for a ...

Mothers Day Prank Suggestion

I played this simple and harmless joke on my mum a few years back and the family still laughs about it. Here you go:

Go to the local greenhouse or place that sells plants. Buy a really nice flower pot (empty) and a bag of potting soil. This is the key, while you are there snag one of the tags...

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A woman decides to prank his husband

So she writes a letter that goes like this:


"Im sick of your shit. Im leaving you, I cant stand you anymore, do not look for me, You are the worst mistake of my life"


She leaves it on his nightstand and hides under the bed to see his reaction.

When the husband arrives, ...

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Yesterday my SON e-mailed me asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.

Like sitting around playing on my computer is not a good thing? I asked.

Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be his favorite topic of conversation.

He said he was "only thinking of me", he said and suggested that I go down to the Senior Center and hang out with the men. ...

The Viper

A woman's sitting at home watching the TV. Her phone rings, she answers. She hears a strange man's voice.

"I'm the VIPER! I'm coming next month!"

She hangs up, thinking it was a prank, and forgets about it. A few weeks go by and she gets another call:

"I'm the VIPER! I'll be the...

Why did Africa pull a prank on Europe?

He thought he was GHANA get away with it. KENYA blame him? He's BENIN worse situations before. OMAN, I gotta stop. I can't BELIZE i'm saying these words right now. There's NORWAY anybody is gonna find this funny. Nothing ISRAEL to me anymore. How much do you want TIBET this will get downvoted to obl...

Pranking the police

A couple of pranksters broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment.

A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

A and C were going to prank their friend...

...but they just letter B

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people.

My grandfather was always playing pranks on people. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. He fit all of the stereotypes of an Irishman, having red hair and beard, constantly being at the bar, and having an accent so thick that I could barely understand him even though I knew him ...

Prank Caller- Hello! is your refrigerator running??

Me- No, but the dishwasher is..
Prank Caller- Huh???
Me- Yeah my wife's out on a jog...

[OC] What do you call a doctor that pranks it's patients?

A sike-ologist.

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A hunting party prank

Three hunters return to their camp with a freshly killed deer. They set about to prep it, when one of them tells the others, "I'll be right back; nature calls."

The other two continue their work, and after a long time has passed, they get worried and decide to check on their partner. The head...

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I tried to prank my GF the other day

I asked my friend if I could borrow his phone so that I could send her a text. I texted her "hey babe , wanna fuck?"

She replied " sure"

The prank did'nt go as planned. I don't know how she knew it was me.

I hooked my blind friend up with a guy in a Pennywise mask as a prank

They hit it off last night.
She totally didn't see IT coming.

Did you hear? They caught the dog who was making those prank phonecalls!

They just checked his collar ID.

Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April....

....but that's fine, my life is already a joke.

I just thought of the ultimate April Fool's Prank. Let me spell it out for you.

I T O U T F O R Y O U

Why didn’t the marsupial fall for the prank?

He knew it was a Kanga-ruse

Everytime I pull a prank on Niagara

She falls for it

Why don't chefs in Denmark play pranks in the kitchen?

Because no one thinks a Dane cook joke is funny.

My danish friend pranked me by giving me laxative cookies

I never thought he'd stroop so low

I scared off my best friend as a prank today...

He was so terrified that he ransomware.

Did you know that the original Easter took place on April 1st?

That Jesus sure knew how to pull off a prank!

What is it called when shapes play pranks on each other?

Geometrick.

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On a train in the Soviet Union

Three comrades travel in the same room in a long distance sleeper train. One comrade is reading a newspaper, while the other two tell political anecdotes. The first comrade decides to prank them. He steps out, and orders three cups of tea to be brought in their room in exactly 10 minutes. Then he co...

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

It was a day like any other at the office for Dave, when all of a sudden, a bear opens his door.

"We're out of coffee," says the Bear, and it left.

Dave was obviously surprised that a literal bear opened his door. He almost thought he may have been smoking something, but he brushed it off immediately. "Maybe someone is pulling a prank, I don't know." But later when he goes to the break r...

Old lady gets into a Merzedes-Benz taxi cab

As she hops in, the driver asks her where she's going. She gives him an adress, as she's just arrived to town to visit family.

They keep going for a bit, when the old lady notices the very characteristic Mercedes-Benz ornament emblem mounted on the hood.

"So what is that thing for?" s...

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prank for a guy with multiple girls in the house

Take a piss and toss in a couple pieces of toilet paper. Don't flush. Repeat. Watch with amusement as all the ladies of the house argue with each other over who isn't flushing the toilet.

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Saw this penis prank joke at the front page and reminded me of little johnny...

who wrote on the black board at classroom: "Johnny has an enormous penis".

After seeing it, the teacher erased it and said: Johnny, stay after class! I need to talk to you.

The following day, on the blackboard: "Advertisement is the soul of every business".

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[Long NSFW] Oxford professor

An old Oxford professor is nearing retirement and decides that he wants to do something fun for once. He's spent his whole life researching scientific theories in his lab and wants to do something outside for a change, so he asks his assistant for a suggestion of something different to go and resear...

A Soviet joke

A group of friends stays in a hotel in Soviet Russia. One of them ended up in a separate room and is trying to fall asleep. His friends, however, are loudly talking and telling each other political jokes in the next room. So he decides to prank them a bit. Calls downstairs, orders some coffee to the...

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My wife pranked me this morning. She crushed my Viagra pill and put in my eggs, and poured some MiraLax in my milk.

I didn't know if I was coming or going!

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Two boys are walking through the woods and one of them gets an idea of a funny prank.

He picks up some rabbit turds and after a few minutes of walking, stops, and says, "want some smart-pills?" The other boy said "sure" takes a couple, and swallows them whole.

"I don't feel any smarter."
"Take a couple more." And he does.
Moments later, eyes coming to realization,"Say, ...

In Barcelona, there's a common prank where spicy peppers are hidden inside kiwi fruits, and then the 'victim' is tricked into eating them

Nobody expects the Spanish in-kiwi Sichuan

My school does these things at the end of the year called "Senior Pranks".

Usually the same routine, with some alterations each year. Pull the fire alarm, play inappropriate music over the loud speaker, and throw a couple smoke bombs here and there. I'm always surprised how the local retirement home doesn't threaten to sue anyone.

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

1960s USSR. The peak of KGB paranoia.

Neighbors are ratting out neighbors. Employees report their coworkers to the KGB for innocuous jokes. Nighttime knocks on the door are commonplace. Regular citizens are labeled enemies of the people and taken away.

A group of university students are on a government-sponsored trip to a confere...

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Jack says “mom I don’t want to go to school today.”

Mom: aww how come?

Jack: The kids bully me. They make fun of me, do pranks on me and they don’t listen to me when I tell them to stop.

Mom: Is that so?

Jack: The teachers ignore me as well. They say that I need to deal with my own problems. They even laugh at me and talk behind...

One day Mr. Johnson was sitting alone in his house when the phone rang. Mr. Johnson answered it. "Who is this?" he asked.

"I am the viper," said the voice on the other line. "I'll be at your house in an hour."

Mr. Johnson laughed and hung up the phone. "He's just playing a prank on me," he said, and went back to what he was doing.

Fifteen minutes later, the phone rang again. "Who is this?" asked Mr. Johns...

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A farmer plays a prank on Easter Sunday by sneaking into the chicken coop and replacing every white egg with a brightly colored one.

Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats the shit out of the peacock.

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Wedding prankster

A group of guys pledged that they would never get married, but one by one, they met the women of their dreams and tied the knot. Each time, however, the rest of the group pranked them at the wedding or reception such as not "holding their peace," or plastic poop in the punchbowl.

Time come...

An electrician gets tired of being looked down upon for his profession

so he uses the money he has saved up to become a doctor.

As a resident, he always stood out amongst a crowd that was still mostly younger rich kids who could afford medical school somehow right out of high school and undergrad.

One day in particular, the hospital fire alarm got yanke...

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April's fool's Is canceled This Year

No one has managed to come up with a prank that can match the unbelievable shit going on in the world right now...

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Two tiny, 3-inch tall men are walking through the woods

One says to the other "hey, look, a frog! Let's go prank it"

The other guy says "First pranking wizards, now frogs? No! I'm sick of your shit, Phil!"

Beware the viper

A man arrives home and checks his messages. He got one by someone with a creepy sounding voice, saying, “This is the viper. Tomorrow I am coming to your house!” The man is pretty frightened by this. Who is this Viper; a serial killer? A prank caller?

The man hopes it’s a prank call and...

German Joke from the 1910's

My grandfather told me this joke in the 1960's, when I was a kid. He had heard it when he was a kid in the 1910's (he was born in 1904), in Hungary:

Some boys were walking to school in the morning, and on the way they passed a plum tree. There were plums all over the ground under the tree, s...

The police were called to a local playground

The police were called to a local playground with reports of hundreds of chickens running wild there.

They thought it was a prank call at first, but now they suspect fowl play.

What is the name of the musician who was born in the first of April?

Prank Sinatra

I dunno, seems like a joke to me

Never use poems in evil ways. Well I'm

gonna do exactly that. I might as well

give you the knowledge that

you will be pranked **hard**. So leave. Still reading? You don't give

up easily. You should've

never read this. Let me just tell you that you're

gonna h...

Thank goodness it's April 2nd

I had 4 pregnancy scares yesterday. They all turned out to be pranks. Please don't tell my wife.

A man with a hunchback, limp and massive bald spot is sitting in a bar, drinking his beer

When a knock out blonde sits next to him, smiles and says "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" Man, dumbfounded, can only nod. He gets his drink and woman keeps flirting. Guy, thinking this must be some sort of prank isn't engaging when she suddenly asks if he wants to go to her place. "What the hell, why ...

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