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It's Raining Jokes

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When It's Raining..

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work.

One wet and lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. "Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!"

"...

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TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

Who the fuck's going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?

*It's raining penny's and quarters*

Me:WTF is this

Climate:Change

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They say "it's raining cats and dogs"...

but I still can never seem to get myself any pussies or bitches

How do you know it's raining cats and dogs?

When you walk outside and step in a poodle.

A Couple is Walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve...

A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.

"I think it's raining," says the man.

"No, it's snowing," replies the woman.

"How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!" exclaims the main. "Officer Rudolph, is it rain...

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So a guy wants to go hunting with his wife and it's raining...

His wife says "I'm not going hunting in the rain!"
He says "You're going hunting in the rain or I'm going to fuck you in the ass or you're sucking my cock, so make up your mind while I go get the dogs ready!"
He comes back into the house and his wife tells him "I'm not going hunting in the rai...

A woman is walking hand-in-hand with her husband on Christmas Eve In Moscow

They're having a nice night when, suddenly, they start to feel a bit of precipitation on their faces.


The woman looks at her husband and says, "Look, dear, it's raining."


Her husband tells her, "No, dear, it's snowing." Well, this argument goes back and forth for a few minu...

it's raining and my gf has been staring at the window for about an hour..

i should probably let her in.

What do you call it when Snoop Dogg pretends it's raining?

Faux drizzle

Father: "Go outside and see if it's raining".

Son: "Call the dog in and see if it's wet".

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What do you wear when it's raining homophobia?

A straight jacket.

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A man picks up a woman while it's raining

He then puts his hand on her leg. She says "That will cost you $50."

He then hands her the $50 dollars and begins rubbing her leg until he asks her "How much will it cost for me to make love to you?"

She replies "It will cost you $500, but on my conditions."

Excited, the man pul...

Maybe the song "It's Raining Men" wouldn't have been as popular had they used the original demo title:

"Corpse Storm."

It's raining like cats and dogs on Christmas eve...

Hope it doesn't continue till Christmas, or it's gonna rain deer.

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

It's an overcast afternoon, so Jimmy sticks his hand out the window to see if it's raining...

As he does he's surprised when a glass eye lands in his open palm. Curious, he looks up and sees an attractive woman looking down from the balcony above.
"Um, is this yours?" he asks, holding up the optic.
"Yes, thank you!" she replies. "I'm Linda, can you bring it up for me?"
When Jim arri...

The weather is so bad today, it's raining cats and dogs

Maybe a PetSmart blimp wasn't such a good idea after all

A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning, looked out the window and announced "It's raining."

His wife said, "No dear, it's sleeting."

He replied, "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."

Is it Raining or Snowing?

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.


"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they...

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