The 85+ Best Scam Jokes

There are a lot of scams on the internet...

For a low price of $69 I can show you how to avoid them.

My mechanic tried to scam me because he didn’t think I knew about cars

I took my car to get an oil change and they were like “would you like us to rotate your tires?” I was like “Ummm. I rotated them a bunch on the way over jackass!”

Dear seller, a month ago I ordered and paid for a book "How to scam people online"!

Tell me please, when will I receive it?

Don't know if this is a scam...

...but, I just received a text saying I'd won £250 cash or VIP tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says, "Press1 for the money or 2 for the show !!"

At first, I thought Chiropractors are a scam ...

but now, I stand corrected.

Holiday scams

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and hands over a few singles to pay for it. The bartender picks up the $1 bills and carefully scutinizes them, holding them up to the light. "What are you doing?" the guy asks. "There's a new scam going around this holiday season," the bartender replies. "People...

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Two months ago, while I was leaving Wal-Mart, I got totally scammed.

These two gorgeous college girls, wearing nothing but bikini tops and mini-shorts, started washing my car just as I was about to leave the parking lot. When they were finished, I asked them, "How much should I pay you?" One of the two girls said, "We don't accept payment in money. We accept payment ...

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Home Depot Scam alert

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you. Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls come ove...

Just got scammed out of $15.

Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money.

Beware of a new E-bay scam

I ordered my wife some expensive jewelry and they sent me motorcycle parts

What scam do cats always fall for?

Fishing links

Difference between a cult and a religion

In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.

In a religion, that guy is dead.

Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam.

And that man is Michael Scott.

What do you call a scam artist who is walking down the stairs?

Condescending

I was recently targeted by an organ donation scam

They tried to convince me that, for a small monthly fee, I could have priority access to organ donation from the recently deceased.

It was a dead giveaway.

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Be very careful of the latest scam.

If anyone knocks on your door and says they need to stick their finger up your arse to test for coronavirus, it's a scam.

I feel so fucking stupid now..

There are so many scams on the internet now days.

Send me $19.95 today and I can tell you how to avoid them.

I ordered a book called "How to scam people online" two months ago.

It still hasn't arrived yet.

23andme is a scam.

I know for a fact my grandparents immigrated to America from Argentina, but my results still came back “German”.

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What do you call a Japanese scam?

A Ponzu Scheme

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Free Sex w every fill up.

There was this gas station in Anderson, SC trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."

Soon Bubba pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and if he guessed correctly, he would g...

The man who invented spreadable margarine got scammed out of every penny he made out of it.

I can't believe he's not bitter.

Watch out for a scam phone call.

The caller says, You have won $1.000.000 dollars

or Tickets to an Elvis Presley tribute Concert.

Just press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

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A recent scam has popped up involving a prostitute, a bit of cocaine and a kitchen appliance

People have been falling for it, hooker, line and sink.

I was just scammed out of 25 dollars.

I purchased a dvd titled "Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes." It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!

What was the biggest scam in Ancient Egypt?

A Pyramid Scheme.

What do you get when you merge two scams?

confusion.

Just got a scam email sent to me..

It was titled "Squadron 42 Update"

Scam artist caught!

Police arrested scam artist John Young who tricked people into buying some sort of substance which he himself described as an ‘elixir of immortality’. Upon questions police discovered that John had a criminal record and had been previously arrested for the same felony for previous times: In 2004, 19...

Warning: Car Cleaning scam

Guys, please take care when shopping. I've become a victim of a scam, this is what happens:

While loading my car at the supermarket 2 very attractive ladies come over to help and clean the windshield wearing very skimpy clothing (very nice to watch I must say), they wouldn't take any payment...

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Older men scam

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, ...

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Scam alert! Men beware

During the recent hot weather here in the UK we have had a couple of young women operating a scam at our local supermarket. They offer a while-you-wait car valeting service - you just drive in and while you sit there, one of them washes the outside of the car while the other vacuums the inside. They...

Meeting with the eye surgeon is such a scam, I paid over $500 just for the consultation!

And I still don't know who I'm seeing.

Warning: scam

Some dude is selling what he calls an "Elixir for Immortality" in town. He came to me, suspiciously, with some of those bottles, but I refused, and contacted the police. They told me they know of this scam, and this person in particular. They said they've already arrested him multiple times for it. ...

I got scammed on eBay today

I ordered a pound of cure. Box they sent me only contained an ounce of prevention.

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Latest scam warning.

Police are warning people of a new scam being perpetrated at various mall and supermarket car parks.

When the intended victim - almost always male - has loaded their shopping into their car they are approached by two or three female teenagers who will ask or beg for help. The story is usually...

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So Theres Uproar That Bella Thorne Is Scamming On OnlyFans

But She's A Sex Worker, Its Her Job To Fuck You.

What is it called when an Egyptian scams you?

A pyramid scheme.

WARNING! SCAM ALERT!

Be on the lookout for two very attractive women. They are hanging out around local food stores.

When you are putting your groceries away they ask you for a ride to McDonald’s. They are very convincing and very hot! Once in your car the one takes her clothes off and starts climbing all over yo...

I really hate getting scammed on the internet. I ordered a shipment of uranium-237 the other day...

...and by the time it arrived a few days later, the box was half-empty!

IF I SCAM SOMEONE WITH CAPS LOCK ON..

IS IT A CAPITAL CRIME?

What's the difference between a cult and a religion?

In a cult, there's always at least one person at the top who's completely crazy, or who knows it's all a scam...

In a religion, that guy's dead!

The tooth fairy, unfairly caught up in a dentures scam, was standing in line behind Voldermort in the magic prison commissary,

Suddenly, Voldermort screams at an old man alone in a corner, "You wouldn't be here if you appreciated stealth, Mr ho-ho-ho from the rooftops."

The tooth fairy realizes the outcast is Santa Claus, and separates himself from the undesirables to approach him, asking, "Kind Sir, what did you do ...

The space bar is a scam !

The space bar is a scam, I pressed it and order a whiskey but nothing came through.

The next generation of the Nigerian email scam is here :P

Hello My Dear

Calvary Greetings in the name of the ALMIGHTY

I am Mrs Monica Gorgia from Switzerland I am married to Mr Joseph Gorgia who is a wealthy business man here in Burkina Faso. we are devoted christian.
We own a papermill in Nigeria where we currently have ...

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The Nigerian king

Agnes, a middle-aged New York widow is feeling very lonely one day, so she decides to bite the bullet and try internet dating. Her initial attempts don't go very well, as most of the contact she receives varies from dick pics to guys asking for nudes. She's about to give up when one day she's contac...

I just got scammed by an Irish cat, but I should have known..

It was your classic Leopard con

I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam.

Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.

Do you want to know the best way to scam someone?

Give me $5 and I’ll show you.

Classical music is such a scam...

You pay hundreds of dollars to go see Mozart live and in concert, and every time it's just a cover band

Motel insurance scam (x-post /r/Unexpected)

A few years ago, I lived in a small rural town in southwestern Texas, near the border with Mexico. My town had a few rich people living in it, and among these was my neighbor. He was a doctor, and also owned a little motel called the Spanish Inn. It was a nice place, and the doctor enjoyed keeping u...

I just bought a book on spotting scams.

I paid $999 for it, so it must be good.

Bulls need to realize that when a matador waves his cape, he’s scamming them.

It’s a huge red flag.

The oil change shop tried to scam a customer by telling him that his car needed "blinker fluid"

The customer said, "Nice try, you can't trick me. My BMW doesn't have blinkers!"

What do you call a person who falls for a tech support scam?

An Indian giver.

I almost fell for the Nigerian Prince Scam

Jokes on them I already know Nigeria doesn't exist

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

Did you hear that the new Nintendo Switch controllers were a scam?

Turns out that they were a joy con.

Why do citizens of Prague rarely get scammed?

Because they always double Czech

What do you say to an Egyptian when they got scammed?

*"Hey bro, you got egypt!"*

What is a scam artist's favorite card game?

Go phish.

Jay Leno on Pet Scams

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.

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The Genie Scam

To celebrate their 7th anniversary, a man and his wife spend the weekend at an exclusive golf resort. He is a pretty good golfer, but she only just started. When they head down to the golf course after a lavish lunch and a bottle of champagne, they notice a beautiful mansion a couple of hundred yard...

The World’s Greatest Gambler

A man begins to deposit a ridiculous amount of money into his bank. Out of nowhere. Someone takes notice, and after a long and complicated series of accusations and charges the man winds up going to court. He shows up with his defense attorney.

The judge asks him bluntly “Sir, how did you com...

Don't look out these blonds at the supermarket

WARNING!!! SCAM ALERT!!!

You may find superhot blonds on Walmart. They used to hang out around the big 24 hr Supermarket car park. When you are putting your shopping away, they ask you for a lift to McDonalds. They are very convincing and very hot!

Once in your car the Blonde o...

I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo...

I guess you could say I've been E-gipped.

There are so many scams on the internet. It’s hard to avoid them.

Luckily I know how. Pm me $19.95 and I’ll explain the details.

When I visited Central Europe recently I was warned about financial scams

I was advised to check Czech cheques

Did you hear about the Band Aid that got scammed

he was ripped off really bad

I've just been scammed by a Nigerian Prince

His version of Purple Rain was abysmal.

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

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What if Prom is just an elaborate business scams that fashion companies carry out every year to sell all the shitty, cheap dresses to high school kids because the rich people wouldn't buy them?

*scam

I is stupid.

A Nigerian philosopher once said…

“I think, therefore I scam.”

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Engelbert asks a cab driver to take him home after a night out in the city.

He lives in a village outside of town so it is quite a distance. The taxi driver tells him he can take him, but it will cost him $100. Engelbert only has $80, so he tells the taxi driver:

'I'll give you $80 now, but I'll need the same ride next week, and then I'll pay you $200'

The cab...

Beware of a new scam message going around

I just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition.

You have a choice of two prizes you can take,
Option 1 is £50.00
Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert

To make your choice
text
1 for the money or 2 for t...

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Two Jews walking down the street

Two Jews are taking an afternoon stroll. As they pass St. Joseph's Cathedral they notice a sign posted on the front door.

**CONVERT TO CATHOLICISM
GET $50!**

"$50!!," exclaims David. "What a great deal, we can just convert back after!"

"Hold your horses," says Aaron. "It co...

A life coach is on the verge of despair

Why?

Here is how all his meetings go.

"Can you fix my life?"

"Of course. Here's a detailed analysis of all the things that you think are wrong with your life and ways to fix, or at least improve, them."

"Let's see...'work hard'...'change long-term habits'...'possibility o...

Doctor Doctor

A newly graduated doctor opened a clinic with a novel idea to bring in patients. If he were able to solve the patient’s problem he would charge them $500. However, if he couldn’t treat the patient, he would give them $1,000.

The new doctor was soon making more money than the old doctor’s ...

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A jew and a goy are seated together in a train compartment. No one else joins them and as the train gets underway, the goy decides to engage the jew in a conversation.

The goy asks the jew all sorts of questions about his religion. The jew patiently answers them all.
Eventually they take out their pack lunches and continue the conversation. The goy asks:

« Why is it you people are so smart? »

The jew thinks about it for a while and responds:
...

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Con artist warning!

A warning to all the guys:
Two girls have been reported to steal men's wallets.
They use the following scam:
The girls wait in the parking lot of a big superstore. Once they have spotted their victim, they will ask him for a ride to the city.
One will get on the passenger seat, the other...

A man down on his luck went to an oracle and asked him to tell him the numbers that will change his life

the oracle took his glass orb, searched the mans future and told him “The numbers I see in your future are 3419807”

The man happy with these numbers, goes to a convenience store and buys a lottery ticket with his last few dollars and uses the numbers 3419807.

The next day the lottery n...

There are so many scams on the internet lately...

If you wire 400$ into my account, I can teach you how to avoid them.

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Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life.

I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Lance Armstrong ... I think i...

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Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...

This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medi...

I want to lose some weight

But I don't want to get caught up in one of those eat right and exercise scams.

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