With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can’t even say Black Paint!

You have to say, “ Leroy, please paint my fence!”

My stoner friend rolled a joint using a page from my agenda notebook.

He is high on my list of priorities.

A teacher addresses her students after they've come back from lunch

She lays out the agenda for the lesson:

"Alright everyone, I'm going to ask each of you what you did during lunch. I'll them ask you to write something on the board related to what you did - if you spell the word correctly, you'll get a biscuit."

The children all seem quite excited by ...

Hey girl, are you the Bible?

'Cause men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their own selfish agendas.

After winning the election, Donald Trump has already started with his racist agenda...

He's already kicking a black family out of their own home.

-Trump's top agenda for his first 100 days in office :

make everyone use "bigly" in conversations so he doesn't look like a fool for being the only one who uses this word .

My phone charger has been exposing its inner wires to promote its agenda.

It's a shameless plug.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The old man at the IRS office

An 80 year old gets a summons from the IRS to appear at the offices to discuss large deposits coming into his accounts that don’t appear on his tax filings..

The old man is a bit nervous and he hires a lawyer to assist him...

He arrives Monday morning and goes into the interview room.....

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails?

Alternative fax.

I had a meeting with my boss today. He said "are we going to discuss sales figures followed by recruitment?"

Did he just assume my agenda?

A child who loved tractors (sorry if it’s a repost, haven’t seen it yet)

There was a young boy born to a family of farmers, his name was Ryan.

From a very early age he was amazed by all the machinery on his farm, but especially the tractors, his father owned four, each unique to their tasks. The large red one for the tonnes of wheat, the slightly smaller green one...

The English letters were having their annual conference

The English letters were having their annual conference led by A.

A: 'This year's main agenda is to find replacements for letters that have similar upper and lower case letters to avoid confusion. We will begin with the letter C'

C: 'Why does it has to start with me?'

A: 'Beca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bank robber and her husband were being chased by the police

A bank robber and her husband were being chased by the police

In order to shake off the heat, the couple rushed into a Victoria's secret to blend in with the crowd and hide.

By the time two officers had shown up, the weird looks and perfume that everyone was berating them with were inc...

At a press conference, Sarah Sanders is asked, "why has Trump imposed tarrifs on soybeans but not chickpeas?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and contorted her face even more, then replied, "listen Jim Acosta, I don't know what you're agenda is with that question, but suffice it to say that the President's decision on which legumes to tarrif is deeply rooted in the fact that he's never had a Russian soybean on his he...

Why are there no politically correct superheroes?

Because they don't want to assume the villain's agenda.

"Aren't you really busy tomorrow?"

"Woah buddy don't assume my agenda"

I hate when people say "you never seem to have any free time"

How dare you assume my agenda

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