UPJOKE
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If you ever trip in public...

...get up, laugh a little, and say, "Whoops, it's been awhile since I inhabited a body."

Haven't listened to Staind since middle school...

...it's been awhile

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

An elderly man and woman enter the bar and ask the bartender for their usual drinks.

The bartender serves them, speaking to the man, "Mr. Johnson, it's been awhile since we saw you last, how are you and your wife doing? We were worried about you, the last time you came in you didn't seem to recognize or remember anyone."

The elderly gentleman responds, "Well, you know how it ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I was laying in bed last night with my wife

And I asked her, "How about a blowjob? It's been awhile?"

She replied, "No."

I got up out of bed and started putting clothes on.

As I grabbed my coat and prepared to step out of the bedroom she stopped me and said, "Where do you think you are going?"

"Well, last month whe...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man washes up on a deserted beach...

He coughs up some water and tries to find himself some civilization. He walk around until it becomes apparent he is alone on an island except for a pig and a dog, both of which are strangely domesticated. Oh well, time to Robinson Crusoe the shit out of this island.

He starts a fire. Builds ...

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