An Irish Setter, a Dalmatian, and a Beagle were talking

The Irish Setter says to the Beagle: "I am excited for the party next weekend."
The Dalmatian says: "Me too."
The Beagle says to the Setter and the Dalmatian: "You guys weren't invited."
The Irish Setter and the Dalmatian both say: "What? Why not?"
The Beagle says: "Probably because you ...

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Didn't like shopping there anyway

Yesterday I was at my local TESCO’ store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout
queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? On impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot ...

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The bitch

A man walks into a bar with a St. Bernard and asks for a martini. The dog requests a double martini.
The bartender says to the man "So you're a ventriloquist. Big deal. We don't serve dogs in here."

The man gets up to go to the men's room, and the dog again requests his drink.

The ...

So an elf walks into an animal shelter...

...and, being from the North Pole, he wants a hound dog to run a transport system. This particular shelter stocks only mutts.

On the first day, the elf says, "What type of dog is that one there?" he asks, pointing to a cage. "That's a cross between a Labrador and a Poodle," responds the clerk...

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