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Celtic Jokes

Do you think Bill of the Celtics kids were referred to as

B. Russell Sprouts?

Why did the Celtics go to Miami?

To beat the Heat!

What do you call an antique comb used to make braids, buns, and Celtic knots passed from generation to generation

Hair loom.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Celtic vs. Rangers

(Celtic and Rangers are rival Scottish football teams, the fans are *not* fond of each other.)

At the Celtic vs. Rangers match, Jimmy, a Celtic fan accidentally ends up with the Rangers fans.

To his bad luck, he is spotted just as Celtic score.
A huge, drunk and angry Scotsman walks...

Have you inspired many people to become new-age, Celtic singers?

Cos you’re making me wanna be Enya.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A phone call home...

A Brazilian football (soccer) star is on international commitments, representing Brazil at the World Cup far from home. He takes a few moments to speak to his family.

"So, how's things at home?" he asks.

"Terrible!", his mother replies. "We have no money. Your father is unemployed a...

So, a 4,000-year-old teenage skeleton unearthed near Stonehenge

Scientists are still open for the possibility that this is a more modern skeleton of someone who died of boredom, possibly from listening to some hippy chick explaining her celtic past lives.

**Okay guys now it's your turn! Comment your joke [based off the news](https://www.reddit.com/r/hist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bartender

A traveler walks into a bar, asks for the local brew, and the bartender's name.
Bartender says "you must be new here..." And takes out a perfectly pristine glass, sounds it around his hand, and pours a perfect pint. He says "that... Is the perfect pint of beer. I've been pouring the perfect pint ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy on his deathbed

So there is a guy lying in bed. He is catholic and a celtics fan. He's lying in bed, he's totally dying. He has very little time left.

All his family ask him, "Any last request?" And the guy's like, 'Aye, I wanna become a proddy (Protestant).

And the family are like "What? Really wha...

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