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Involving Jokes

Okay, we need a title for our fantasy novel involving dragons. Any ideas?

…Dragon?

It can’t just be Dragon.

Umm… Cragon?

No, that’s awful. Come on, think harder.

Umm…. Eragon?

….Bingo.

Another Irish joke involving beer

While attending the World Beer Conference, the CEOs of Anhueser-Busch, Coors, and Guiness went out to eat together. When the waitress asked them what they would like to drink, the CEO of Anhueser-Busch replied, "Get me a Budweiser, the king of beers!" Not to be outdone, the Coors CEO told her, "I wa...

I wanted to tell a joke involving Sodium and Hydrogen...

But NaH.

When German children play a game involving touching each other with bread...

it's called gluten tag.


I'll show myself out.

What do you call an orgy involving famous musicians?

A release party.

I had a good joke involving Jared Fogle, Roman Polanski, and Jimmy Saville walking into a bar

But it occurred to me that they wouldn't be somewhere where there wouldn't be minors.

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

I heard a horror story involving a camera and window blinds.

I shutter at the thought of it.

I posted a Joke involving a cow, but it was a little offensive apparently so I'll take it down

[remooooved]

What do you call Martial Arts involving feet?

Toe-Fu

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I have an extensive collection of pornography involving miners.

It’s the only way I can get my rocks off...

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A recent scam has popped up involving a prostitute, a bit of cocaine and a kitchen appliance

People have been falling for it, hooker, line and sink.

What is the similarity between me and an experiment involving a biased coin with two tails?

The probability of getting a head is zero.

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Two jokes involving the same pot-smoking monkey

**Pot-Smoking Monkey Joke #1:**

So, there's this monkey smoking a joint in a tree in the jungle with his little lizard buddy. The lizard says, "Ooh wee! This is some good shit! My mouth is dry is a hell. Imma run down to the pond and get a drink."

The lizard climbs down the tree, scurr...

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My favorite joke involving an old woman and a dildo

An old woman walked into a sex shop and approached the clerk behind the cash register.

"Excuse me young man, do you sell dildos here?" She asked the clerk.

The clerk was of course surprised to see such an old woman in the shop, but still managed to be polite and replied "Yes we do ma'...

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There was once a competition involving three gruelling tasks.

The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1)Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go.

2)Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.

3)And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.

Many peop...

Fairy tale involving a Bishop.

A long time ago, in a land far away, there was a Bishop.

He was wandering trough a sunny field, reading his Bible and praising the beauties of Creation, while a croak stopped him.

He looked down and, besides a small bush, he saw a Frog who told him:

"Bishop, Bishop! Please kiss ...

I like my humour like I like my coffee.

Dark and involving child labour.

I drove past an accident involving an ice cream truck.

It must have been pretty bad because I heard one of the paramedics say that it looks like they lost a few pints.

Chemistry joke involving the alphabet

A B C D E F G H I J K Phosphorus Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Why is there a Phosphorus? Because its an EL EM EN TAL P!

Read about a small accident involving young children digging up shiny rocks...

It was a minor miner, minor catastrophe.

There was a mystery involving an office worker and a small bag.

It was a brief case.

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Given the recent events involving France's butter shortages...

We can all say that France has seen butter times

What government organization only investigates incidents involving frozen water?

The Just-Ice Department.

This guy Joe goes to pick up his fiancé for a date in a brand new Porsche.

His fiancé is confused because Joe isn’t exactly a wealthy guy.

She says, “Where did you get this Porsche?“

Joe says, “It was in my garage.“

She says, “What was it doing in your garage?“

Joe says, “Well, I guess God put it there.”

She says, “That’s ridiculous!...

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Turns out the way we make dough is due to sexual reproduction involving the yeast used being from the same family

This has led to inbread results

There was a car accident involving a funeral procession, yesterday. One person dead.

Luckily it was a fender-bender and no one was hurt.

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Did you hear about the number of sexual assault allegations against Bill Clinton involving coercive oral sex?

It's jaw dropping.

What would a scandal involving Microsoft be called?

Gatesgate.

What do you call research involving Eggs, Strawberries and Altoids?

An Eggs-Berry-Mint

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First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them,

"In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." As an ex...

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A group of scientists was doing an experiment involving the bacteria in feces. They asked for donations of fecal matter from the public...

...but nobody gave a crap

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I've recently learnt about a sexual fetish involving having sex with desserts.....

It's left me fucking 'dis custard!

I used to have a job involving crushing cans.......

It was soda pressing!

Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/seven-bar-jokes-involving-grammar-and-punctuation

TIL there was once a serial killer that created his own language involving clicks and taps.

He called it “Remorse Code”.

A third rate magician is doing magic shows on a second rate cruise ship (Long)

The pay is good, the accommodation is comfortable, the food is excellent, and the two show a day workload is easy. The mainly elderly audience seem to enjoy his show which is unoriginal but has the polish of hundreds of repetitions. All in all, it's started out as a great gig except for one glaring ...

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