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Morass is a complicated or confused situation

And this occurs when your girlfriend catches you looking for morass.

I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities

It's a complex complex complex

what's another name for a complicated starbucks drink?

food for thot.

How did the Professor of Electromagnetism solve a complicated problem?

He used inductive reasoning

Running a chicken farm is more complicated than I thought.

There are so many layers...

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Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. ...

My opinion on abortion is kinda complicated.

I'm all for killing children, but I cant stand giving women rights.

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[NSFW] The Vatican is about to select 5 archbishops from a group of 30 religious and pious priests. Due to previous scandals and accusations the Pope has decided to make the appointment procedure different and complicated so that only the best remains.

All the priests were stripped naked and a bell was tied to their penis. After that right in front of them, a group of 30 gorgeous nude women were brought. The goal was to find out how much resistance the priests have and how strong their devotion to God was. The ladies started to dance, twerk, even ...

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better.

A mathematician and a physicist were arguing over whose field of study was better. They decided to settle the argument by posing questions. The mathematician went first, and posed a complicated mathematical problem. With a great deal of effort, several books of mathematical tables and techniques,...

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A scientist, a mathematician, and in idiot all die in a car wreck and go to Heaven.

"Unfortunately, since heaven is quite full at the moment, I am only going to allow one of you in," the Devil says. "Whoever can ask me a question that I cannot answer correctly will be admitted into heaven. The rest will go to hell."

So the scientist steps up and asks him, "What is the most c...

Two lunatics...

Two lunatics escape from an asylum. Their bid for freedom is complicated by a deep ravine.

One lunatic says to the other *'you shine the torch across the ravine, and i will shimmy along the beam to the other side'*.
*'Then you throw me the torch, and i will do the same for you'*.

...

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Sex is like a complicated joke.

I don’t get it.

An immunologist and a cardiologist are kidnapped...

An immunologist and a cardiologist are kidnapped. The kidnappers threaten to shoot one of them, but promise to spare whoever has made the greater contribution to humanity. The cardiologist says, “Well, I’ve identified drugs that have saved the lives of millions of people.” Impressed, the kidnappers ...

Rock, paper, scissors got complicated.

I was playing it with my deaf cousin, but then he started showing some new signs and I didn't know how to counter them.

After a complicated operation, a politician woke up in a hospital bed

After getting his bearings; he discovered that the curtains were drawn around him. Turning to the nurse he asks "why are the curtains closed, is it night?"

"No", replied the nurse, "It's just there's a fire in the building across the street and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that t...

A life-saving topic

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a student interrupted him.

“Why do we have to learn this stuff?”, the frustrated student blurted out.

The professor ignored him and continued the lecture.

"I mean, why is this even re...

A lot of people think apartheid is a complicated issue

But i think it's pretty black and white

Some individuals understand the most complicated things in the universe...

I'm sitting here trying to figure out my electricity bill.

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused....

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course.
Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.



She replied, "...

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A doctor and a patient at a plastic surgery clinic.

Patient: "I heard doctors put up random stuff to make their work seem more complicated."

Doctor: "That's true to a degree. Some of the stuff in this room are just for show."

Patient looks around the room pointing at a thermometer: "Do you use that?"

Doctor: "Not really."

...

"Your case is quite complicated."

Patient: Why doctor? What happened?

Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies.

You know, capitalism can be pretty complicated

But communism? Everyone gets it

There was a young man weeping

The man was sitting at a library table

A young lady approached him and asked what was wrong

He replied “It’s complicated”

And showed his calculus homework

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A brilliant lawyer is sitting next to an ordinary man on a plane.

The lawyer asks the man if he wants to bet money on a game of smarts to pass the time.

The ordinary man says, “You’re so smart, I won’t be able to win!”

The lawyer says, “That’s no problem. For every question you can’t answer, give me $5; for every question I can’t answer, I’ll give yo...

Jacob never needed to set up that complicated plan to steal the blessing from Esau.

He could have just sneezed and let Issac say "bless you, Jacob."

Why are cows so complicated?

They’ve got a lot of mooing parts

The Pope is saddend that he never sees much of the countries he visits and decides it's time for a change

After a visit to Berlin, the Pope decides he wants to travel to Rome by car. Off course, he didn't bring a car and so the German government seizes the opportunity to impress him with German engineering. They lend him the most powerful car they have available, with a German driver/bodyguard. And off ...

Complex numbers are complicated.

Please tell me I’m just imagining things.

Four Engineers

4 Engineers get into a car. A Mechanical Engineer, a Petroleum Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, and a Network Engineer. They go to start the car and nothing. The Mechanical Engineer says, "Hey guys, we've got a bad starter, we're going to need to fix that before the car will start." The Petrole...

Everybody makes race relations seem so complicated

But really the issue is pretty black and white

A Man Finds a Lamp...

A man is on a walj when he comes across as lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out.

The genie tells the man he will grant him 3 wishes.

The man thinks long and hard and declares "I want to live a long and healthy life."

The genie immediately scans the man's body, eliminatin...

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3 Engineers

3 Engineers are discussing God and the human body.

The first Engineer says God has to be an Electrical Engineer, who else could wire up such a complicated system?

The second Engineer says God has to be a Structural Engineer, who else could build such a strong and sturdy frame?

...

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I'm in quarantine with my girlfriend and my mom

It's really complicated to have sex, I'm afraid that my girlfriend hears us

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The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

My dad was a complicated man.

He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Guy walks into a funeral home

He tells the receptionist, “my wife is dying, and i need to buy a gravesite.”

Receptionist says, “sure, no problem. Just fill out this paperwork and we’ll get the process started.”

Guy says, “well you should know up front this might get complicated. See, my wife weighs 800 pounds.”
...

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Two friends meet after a long time...

Two friends meet after a long time. One of them asks the other:
"How's your sexlife?"
He responds: "Pretty crazy actually, i'm doing it with twins".
"Wow", the first one says, "isn't this complicated? How do you tell the two apart?"

"Oh that's easy, Lisa has a birthmark on her thigh ...

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A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.




The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could b...

Two submarines are trying to win a competition

Each one of them has to try and hit objects that are smaller and smaller in size.

Every day they choose an object in the ocean, and declare that the objective before trying to hit it:

*"Today we'll hit that sunken ship"* and off they go.

Then it's the other team's turn: ...

Happily Married

There is a couple who have been married for 30 years. Every Friday for dinner the husband would come home from work and the wife would serve him a huge bowl of chilli. One friday, the husband comes home with a colleague so the wife serves up two bowls. When the wife gets up to go to the kitchen, the...

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College pregnancy

A college girls rushes to the hospital. Her water has just broke and she is now in labour. As she begins to push, the doctor asks if the father should be present. She answers “I’m not really sure who the father is. You see, I was having a hard time paying for my college tuition. To make some quick c...

[OC] A programmer walks into a coffee shop

A programmer walks into a coffee shop on his lunch break with his pet, a black Labrador. He comes in with a scowl on his face and a furrowed brow, his expression showing a frustrated yet pensieve look about him. He asks for a plain, black coffee.

The barista compassionately eyed the man fo...

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How Canada was named

So it's the year of 1865, and The British Empire has just birthed a new nation. The birth was a regular vaginal birth, and to the relief of everyone, it was much less complicated then the one in 1776. Anyways, now it was time to give name for the new born nation. The British Empire tired from the la...

Einstein walks into a bar with his favourite cousin

The barman says "Hi Albert, it's nice to see you both again, but how come we never see the rest of the family?"

Einstein responds "Well you know, with this special relative it's easier for me, if I invite general relatives it just gets too complicated"

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So a man wakes up one morning wildly late for work...

Realizing the time, he threw on some clothes and ran out the door as fast as he could. He hops in his car and speeds off, driving much faster than he should have been. During his ride, he goes beneath an overpass, where a police officer happened to be parked that day. Noticing the maniac speeding do...

Halloween Pickup lines

I can't find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?

Your costume looks complicated. Need help taking it off?

You’re such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.

You're the most boo-tiful ghost I've seen all night!

You look so good, ...

The World’s Greatest Gambler

A man begins to deposit a ridiculous amount of money into his bank. Out of nowhere. Someone takes notice, and after a long and complicated series of accusations and charges the man winds up going to court. He shows up with his defense attorney.

The judge asks him bluntly “Sir, how did you com...

How do dairy farms do their taxes?

Well, the ones with simple taxes can just use a cowculator, but the ones with real complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.

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Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

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A woman goes to the doctor

the doctor says, "what seems to be the matter you need help with today."

She replies, "well, i have recently sprouted 10 additional breasts, and now have 12, you gotta help me doc."

the doc replies "wow, that definitely complicates things, dozen tit?"

A Crossbow is like a Beautiful Woman

It has a lot of complicated parts and if you handle them wrong it will snap and break your fingers.

A woman is taking a walk on the beach at sunset

when suddenly, her foot hits something hard. (No, not that, stop.) It is a magic lamp! She rubs it and the genie comes out :

\- You who found me, I grant you one wish!

\- Only one? the woman answers, but usually it's three!

\- Yeah yeah I know but these a difficult times for eve...

A heart surgeon took his car to his local garage for a regular service, where he usually exchanged a little friendly banter with the owner, a skilled but not especially wealthy mechanic.

"So tell me," says the mechanic, "I've been wondering about what we both do for a living, and how much more you get paid than me.."
"Yes?.." says the surgeon.
"Well look at this," says the mechanic, as he worked on a big complicated engine, "I check how it's running, open it up, fix the valves...

2 scientists walk into a bar

the first one says: I´ll have a glass of H2O...

the second one says: i´ll have a glass of water too.... Wh... why did you say H2O ? Is there any reason to use the chemical formular outside the lab ?Doesn`t this just over-complicate things for no reason ? I really don´t think that was very sma...

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A man was arrested for driving over a crowd in a wedding

The case detective drew out a cigar, then began dragging.

"Why did you do that?"

"You see, detective... the matter's *much* more complicated. A guy was standing on the left side of the road, and the wedding was on my right. Since there was no other way, which would you have gone for?"<...

A hospital buys a robot

The robot is used in multiple operations, performing complicated surgeries. One day, it breaks, and the Hospital calls a mechanic. The mechanic looks at the robot, and says, "I know the problem." The hospital staff asks, "What?" In which the mechanic says, "It only operates on batteries."

Yes - it's true I actually am my own grandpa ...

- simple explaination ...

"Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law and rea...

What did the man say to his pet bear after buying her a computer and the computer wouldn't turn on and he ended up calling his cousin who works at the computer company and the cousin came down from Milwaukee to show them how to connect everything to make the computer work?

Sorry for the complicated setup.

Two scientists walk into a bar

The first scientist says "I'll have some H20."

&nbsp;

The second scientist says "I'll have a glass of water, too. But really? Why did you say H20? Like I get that it is the chemical formula for water and all, but it is the end of a really stressful day at work and there's real...

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There once was a police dog...

The K-9 unit had decided to get some new dogs to sniff out drugs and the like. One of them happened to have an exceptional talent for this, and while training this dog, several notorious local drug dealers had already been caught. Eventually, the dog was assigned to a cop, and the cop named the dog ...

A bunch of insects are having a formal get together and decide to invite a simple drone worker whose sole function is to carry whatever the queen wants back to the colony...

Becoming all excited at the prospect of doing something different he decides to dress himself in the best suit there is but he cannot seem to complete the look with a half-windsor knot.

Such a complicated task required more skilled mandibles so he goes over to his boss but suddenly gets crush...

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Death is inevitable

The Pacific and Atlantic Oceans start a conversation.

Atlantic: What's up Pacific?

Pacific: I'm not doing too well.

Atlantic: What's the problem.

Pacific: What's the problem? Well I'll tell you what the problem is. Everything is more complicated than you think. You only s...

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi talk shop.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbi were seated at lunch during am Ecumenical congress. After a short period of weather talk they soon were talking shop.

"So, I was wondering how you guys go about distributing the collection monies between the church and God" said the priest. "What we do is draw ...

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A wealthy man went to see his family doctor for his annual physical...

The doctor asked the man if he was experiencing any changes to his health.
Shyly the man replies, "Well, actually Doc, I do have a new problem. You see, I've been fooling around with the maid and I think she gave me VD..."

"Oh, I see," says the Doctor, "looks like we'll need to run a few e...

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An art student is visiting the National Gallery in Wales.

About halfway around, they spot a large painting of three black men sitting on a bench, all three buck naked. Even more strangely, the one in the middle has an entirely pink penis.

A curator sees the art student observing the painting and approaches.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” He says. ...

An English athlete, a French athlete, and a Russian athlete are all on the medal podium at the 1976 Summer Olympics chatting before the medal ceremony.

"Don't get me wrong," says the Englishman, "winning a medal is very nice, but I still feel the greatest pleasure in life is getting home after a long day, putting one's feet up and having a nice cup of tea."

"You Englishmen," snorts the Frenchman, "you have no sense of romance. The greatest p...

Hugo meets a fantastic girl, and - curiously - she agrees to go on a date with him

Soon, Hugo and Phyllida are an item. They go to parties together, concerts, long walks on Sunday. It's great.

Then one day, Hugo is out shopping with his big sister Roberta, and he remembers that Phyllida works in the big menswear shop in town.

He's a bit anxious about mixing business...

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(nsfw) A couple experimenting in the bedroom got into a bit of a tangle...

... it was complicated ass fuck

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