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Epidemic Jokes

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I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic

He said “I don’t know. I’m not really into politics.”

Did you know there's an Alzhimers epidemic?

I noticed it when I saw how many reposts make it to the front page.

Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did...

Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple.

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark."

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia."

"Very well son, come i...

Today should be a holiday honoring all the truckers who have kept America going during the Covid epidemic.

A big 10-4, if you will.

What did Tommy get when his birthday party was held during the epidemic?

Arrested

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So far I've lost 150 pounds during the epidemic!

It was my mom..
She's not dead. She's just a bitch.

So I've heard there's a heroin epidemic among white teens...

I guess they're used to shooting up to solve their problems

The obesity epidemic is getting out of hand.....

Americans are becoming huge targets overseas

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

A lot of people are going to look back when the epidemic is over and wish they had acted differently

But you know what they say... Hindsight is 2020.

One of the most profound things the Covid epidemic has taught me was...

how my breath smells after a cup of coffee... I apologise everyone that I spoke to after I had my morning cup.

There Had Recently Been A Global Epidemic...

...Billions of people were dying. As a result, there was a line of souls waiting to get into heaven. God had become overwhelmed. He said to one of his angels "Go wait at the gates of heaven and only let in people who had a unique death." So the angel goes.
The angel gets to the gate and the first...

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Two cows are grazing in the field. One cow says to the other, "Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?" The other cow turns and says, "Why would I be? I'm a chic...

I was going to post this on another sub, but it seemed more appropriate here.

South Dakota is currently battling a Methamphetamine epidemic and they have a new slogan for their anti-meth campaign efforts.

“Meth....We are on it”!

If we could make America communist for just a year

We could squash our obesity epidemic

You know, mankind really is unique.

We’re probably the only species in the entire universe capable of suffering from simultaneous epidemics of starvation and obesity.

ISIS has issued a travel warning to terrorists

The terrorist group has urged supporters to avoid “the land of the epidemic”.

Meanwhile in Britain, Ariana Grande concert tickets are selling out a lot faster.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know what STD causes blurry genitals...

But Japan seems to have an epidemic of it.

During the cold war

The USSR had an epidemic of unplanned pregnancies, so they unwillfuly asked the US for aid since they dudnt had the technology to produce good condoms. They didn't wanted to look weak so they asked for 1 billion 11 inch condoms. The Americans got their request and didn't wanted to look weak either, ...

Two cannibals are eating a clown

One turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

I decided to post this classic especially with the clown epidemic going on

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