Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did...

Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.

Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple.

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark."

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia."

"Very well son, come i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic

He said “I don’t know. I’m not really into politics.”

Today should be a holiday honoring all the truckers who have kept America going during the Covid epidemic.

A big 10-4, if you will.

What did Tommy get when his birthday party was held during the epidemic?

Arrested

One of the most profound things the Covid epidemic has taught me was...

how my breath smells after a cup of coffee... I apologise everyone that I spoke to after I had my morning cup.

I hope we don't get another animal to human epidemic

All the crow people have been eating lately.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So far I've lost 150 pounds during the epidemic!

It was my mom..
She's not dead. She's just a bitch.

A lot of people are going to look back when the epidemic is over and wish they had acted differently

But you know what they say... Hindsight is 2020.

Koalas have been dealing with the Chlamydia epidemic and now this wild fire...

at least they’re used to dealing with burning sensations.

Did you know there's an Alzhimers epidemic?

I noticed it when I saw how many reposts make it to the front page.

If someone in Wuhan could travel one month back in time, would he/she stop the epidemic?

No, he/she would be the 9th arrested for spreading false rumour.

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jewish guys are chatting in a park...

And the first one is complaining about his son. He says, “My son recently left home for the first time. He came back, and it turns out he converted to Christianity! What do you think I should do?”

The second Jewish guy says, “You’re not gonna believe this. My son left home and when he came ba...

So I've heard there's a heroin epidemic among white teens...

I guess they're used to shooting up to solve their problems

The obesity epidemic is getting out of hand.....

Americans are becoming huge targets overseas

Did you read the novel about the US drug epidemic?

The heroin gets abused.

There Had Recently Been A Global Epidemic...

...Billions of people were dying. As a result, there was a line of souls waiting to get into heaven. God had become overwhelmed. He said to one of his angels "Go wait at the gates of heaven and only let in people who had a unique death." So the angel goes.
The angel gets to the gate and the first...

I was going to post this on another sub, but it seemed more appropriate here.

South Dakota is currently battling a Methamphetamine epidemic and they have a new slogan for their anti-meth campaign efforts.

“Meth....We are on it”!

ISIS has issued a travel warning to terrorists

The terrorist group has urged supporters to avoid “the land of the epidemic”.

Meanwhile in Britain, Ariana Grande concert tickets are selling out a lot faster.

During the cold war

The USSR had an epidemic of unplanned pregnancies, so they unwillfuly asked the US for aid since they dudnt had the technology to produce good condoms. They didn't wanted to look weak so they asked for 1 billion 11 inch condoms. The Americans got their request and didn't wanted to look weak either, ...

If we could make America communist for just a year

We could squash our obesity epidemic

Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean Beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

Two cows are grazing in the field. One cow says to the other, "Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?" The other cow turns and says, "Why would I be? I'm a chic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know what STD causes blurry genitals...

But Japan seems to have an epidemic of it.

Tiger Woods is playing a practice round for The Masters

Midway through his round he stumbles upon an old magic genie lamp and out comes a fairly old semi retired genie but the genie granted Tiger one wish nonetheless. Tiger gave it some thought and told the genie about the recent struggles he’s having with painkillers and the opioid epidemic across this ...

Two cannibals are eating a clown

One turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?"

I decided to post this classic especially with the clown epidemic going on

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