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Tuberculosis Jokes

What did Shakespeare ask his doctor when he was afraid he had tuberculosis?

TB or not TB, that is the question.

I wrote a research paper on tuberculosis titled “TB”

Instead of a grade next to the title the professor just added a “D.”

So I guess that means it’s still to be determined....

Guy 1: "Hey, when's Tuberculosis day?"

Guy 2: "Dunno, it's still TBD."

What disease can you catch by eating too many potatoes?

Tuberculosis

What do you call a bunch of capitalists dying of tuberculosis?

Mass consumption

My dad always said laughter was the best medicine.....

Probably why so many of my siblings died from tuberculosis.

Toughest time of my Life

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis. Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic ci...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Before landing in Thailand...

...the captain kindly reminds the passengers to be careful who they meet and for what, because 50% of population has HIV and the other 50% tuberculosis.

One old man couldn't hear properly, so asked his grandson, what the captain said.

The man replied:

- To fuck only the coughi...

A man is coughing immensely in a packed train.

Others are looking worried about it, and one of the passengers asks:
"Excuse me, do you have coronavirus?"
"No sir, I'm diagnosed with overt tuberculosis."
"Thank God", the others sigh in relief.

Why did the potato die?

He had tuberculosis.

My grandfather was a medical photographer who specialized in documenting infectious diseases. It's a miracle he survived well into his 80s...

Over the years, he told me he developed malaria, dengue, tuberculosis and dozens of unknown rashes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An angry man walked into a Taverna one evening, and yelled "I hate the Greeks!"

He looked around, at the light blue wall paper, with the white Grecian key pattern going around the top. He stared into the eyes of the bar tender, a strapping young lad with an olive complexion, rich black hair, a glorious unibrow, and piercing green eyes.

"Are you a Greek?" he asked, menaci...

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