What do you call a highly cited epidemiology researcher with a social media presence?

An influenzer.

I want to make a joke about epidemiology and epistemology

But I don't know who would get it.

A religious woman works in an epidemiology lab...

One day, she sets up two agar plates, and swabs the first with smallpox. Remembering how dangerous her line of work is, she touches the crucifix around her neck and says a quick prayer.

She gets a new pair of gloves, then swabs some Ebola onto the other plate, but not before again tapping her...

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