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House Of God Jokes

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A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

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One day, a priest decides to take a walk to the pier near his church...

He looks around and finally stops to watch a fisherman load his boat. The fisherman notices, and asks the priest if he would like to join him for a couple of hours. The priest agrees. The fisherman asks if the priest has ever fished before; the priest says no. He baits the hook for him and says, "Gi...

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A priest is on his way to church

Walking along side a lake when he comes upon a fisherman,
He was reeling in a fish,
The priest says “nice fish”,
The fisherman says “thanks this is the biggest somabitch I caught all day”,
The priest says “hey you shouldn’t talk to me like that, I’m a man of the cloth,
The fisherman s...

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(Long) Pope's Dinner

(First post here so I hope this one lands!)

A small Catholic church in Kalamazoo is going to be graced with the Pope's presence. To honor his visit, they decide it would be a good idea to cook him a nice fresh fish dinner. The Priest and the Bishop are out fishing for a while until the Bishop...

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Father Conor is walking by the Shannon when he sees one of his congregation fishing...

He stops for a chat, and mentions that he's never fished before. 'It's a doddle,' says the angler. 'Take a rod and give it a go.'

'Well, I suppose the blessed Saint Peter himself was a fisherman. Perhaps I'll try my hand,' says the priest.

Father Conor sits down and casts his line. Aft...

Jesus is back...

Two homeless friends meet in a small british town on a Sunday morning after a long time.

*We must celebrate, let's have a drink, what do you have on you?*

*I only have a few Euros, and you?*

*Me too, hardly enough to have a nice drinking day.*

After a moment of silence, t...

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The nun ;) NSFW

A guy boarded a public bus an saw a really hot nun, he was eyeing her up and down through out the ride, thinking of ways to get in her pants. When she was getting off the bus the guy asked for her to come home with him. She said sorry I'm married to the house of god. Once she left the male bus drive...

Sophie walks into the church wearing a very low cut blouse.

The parish priest went up to her " you must not enter the house of God unless properly dressed"
" Oh, but I have a divine right"
"You also have a divine left" sighed the clergyman,"but I still have to insist that you should cover up"

(I suck at jokes) It only Takes 1

An older Irishman is sitting at a Rural bar looking depressed. A regular at the bar notices, and asks the old-timer what's the trouble?

[Old-Timer] See that road over there?
[Regular] Aye

[Old-Timer] I built that road. Carried the stones and put them in place my own sweat and bl...

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A nun goes fishing...

A nun goes fishing for the first time, and asks a local fisherman to help her out. Together they catch a large fish. "Take a look at that sonofabitch!" the local fisherman says. The nun responds, "Excuse me sir! You do not use that language in front of a woman of God." He replies, "I beg your ...

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