I'm writing an autobiography

I'm planning to kill off the main character though

"I am currently reading my autobiography," I told my friend.

"What page are you on?" he asked.

​

I said, "All of them."

I tried reading Trump's autobiography but

it kept on going back to Chapter 11.

I've was commissioned to write a bunch of anti-vaxxer autobiographys

Turned out to be a bunch of short stories

My author friend claims that he ‘accidentally’ glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

What genre would Trump's autobiography be filed under?

Fan fiction.

Pope Francis has written an autobiography

He titled it, "I, Papi"

My best mate ate his own autobiography.

He's so full of himself.

Did you hear about the chick pea who released a autobiography 3 years after his death?

It was released post-hummus-ly

Did you hear about Rosie's autobiography?

It was a rivetting tale.

My friend told me his autobiography was available at the library...

His story checks out.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you read the autobiography of the guy with two functioning penises?

I don't know, I thought he came across as two cocky.

I bought a mayfly's autobiography.

Chapter 1: The end.

My son got hold of my autobiography and threw the pages all around the house.

I really need to sort my life out.

Rachel Dolezal just announced she's writing an autobiography

it's titled "The Inward Woman"

I've just finished my autobiography. I hope lots of people buy it.

Then my life might actually be worth writing about.

How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography?

"Dear Reader"

I started writting an autobiography but I gave up...

Story of my life.

My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likable.

It was an autobiography...

Just heard the TV weatherman say, “high in the thirties”.

Now I know the title to one of the chapters of my autobiography.

Told my girlfriend that I've started writing a book about a serial killer that murders his lover.

She said, "That sounds exciting. I love thrillers."

I said, "It's not a thriller, it's an autobiography."

If you wrote a book about Lightning McQueen...

Is it a biography or an autobiography?

The most well known person in the world

Some Spanish guy named "Manual"... A copy of his autobiography, printed in multiple languages, comes free with every electronic device or machinery... although much of his life story is lost in translation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I came, I saw, I conkered.

My autobiography mainly deals with the 3 proudest moments of my life; the first time I masturbated, the first time I tried DIY, and the time I won the regional conker competition as a child.

It's called: 'I came, I saw, I conkered.'

I have a self-driving car, yesterday I added Microsoft word to its AI program.

Today it wrote it's autobiography.

I wanted to tell my best joke

But my autobiography is too long to post here.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A North Korean Joke

*Son to Mom: I don't want to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. The students hate me and the teachers hate me.*

*Mom to Son: Son, you have to go to school today and I'll give you two good reasons. You are the principal and you're thirty five years old.*

As told to ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.