The Pope walks into a Mosque.

The Imam says “Why the wrong faith?”

Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.

"No way, man. ...

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A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to fi...

Why you'll never see temples/mosques/churches/gurudwara with free WiFi?

It's because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Where do Russian Muslims go to prayer?

Mosque O

Two men, John and Mark are going through the desert when they see a mosque.

John says, "They might give us food, water, and shelter!"

Mark says, "Yeah, but it will help if we are Muslim, so when we are there, I am Mohammed."

John replied, "Okay then Mohammed, let us go to the mosque then, but I am not changing my name."

They arrive at the mosque and are...

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Frenchman in Morocco

A Frenchman seeking some thrills travels to Morocco and decides to go bungee jumping off the top of mosques. As he bounces back into the air, all of the passerby in Morocco are in awe and one Moroccan passerby decides that he wants to try it himself.

He finds the Frenchman at a nearby cafe a...

There were two christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.

So John and Mike went to the Mosque ...

What do you call a Muslim bug ?

A mosque-ito.

2 christians were stranded in a desert.

The first was called John and the second was called Jack. They were extremely hungry and thirsty.

In the distance, they saw a mosque gleaming in the middle of no where.

John suggested to go and pay the mosque's Imam a visit and ask for some food and water. Jack agreed but suggested to ...

Giorno and Gyro are lost in Morocco

Old Muslim joke.

Giorno and Gyro are lost in Morocco, they are hungry, they haven't eaten anything for 1 day.

Gyro sees a mosque :

- Gyro : hey it’s a mosque maybe we can ask for food.
- Giorno : we aren’t Muslims they probably won’t give us any food.
- Gyro : we can c...

Why are corporations and mosques so similar?

They both only care about the prophet

What's the difference between a mosque and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drones.

A bartender walks into a church, a temple, and a mosque.

He has no idea how jokes work.

The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques...

Although a waiting list has been set up.

Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.

They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.

An imam, a priest and a rabbi are having a discussion about what they do with the money they receive from worshippers.

The priest explains his process: « the way I do things is very simple. First, I take a big piece of chalk and draw a circle around myself. After that I take the money in my hands, throw it up in the air and what falls inside the circle is for me while all the money that falls outside is for the Lor...

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I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew.

In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

Where are Muslims going to pray when they go to Mars?

Elon's Mosque

Muhammad walks up to the Buddha and says "Guess what a mosque and 9 year old have in common."

I've been in both.

2 Christians are lost in the Arabian desert

The first day is hot, and they're miserable after running out of food and water. The night is surprisingly cold and even worse than the day. The second day and night are even worse.

On the third morning, hotter than the past 2 days, they see a mosque. "We're saved!" exclaims one. The othe...

Did you know that in malaria ridden areas, muslims are not required to remove shoes when entering their praying buildings?

Mosque-y toe control is essential.

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John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' John said. ''I know I haven't been perfect but I really need to win the lottery.

I don't have a lot of money. Please help me out.'' He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn't won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ''Come on, God,'' he said. ''I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.'' He left the synag...

The pope dies and gets met by Jesus at the gates of heaven.

As they step inside, a ferarri pulls up and a man in red robes steps out with a beautiful blonde on his arm.

Shocked at such impropriety from a Cardinal, the pope asks Jesus what is going on.

"Oh," says Jesus, "he was a pious, celibate man his whole life, so dad gave him the opportuni...

What do you call a place of religious worship for Tesla cars?

An Elon Mosque

2 men were lost in the desert

Their car broke down and they were wandering for hours. It's midday and the sun was scorching hot. They're lost, hungry and their throat were parched. In the distance they saw a huge mosque.

Man 1: Let's pretend to be Muslims and they'll give us food and water.

Man 2: You go ahead and...

What has four legs and ten arms?

My pitbull in a mosque

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like: "Losing my Head over You", "Rocket Launcher Man", "You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their last song "Living on...

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My best Catholic joke (as told by my priest)

A town decided to form a clergy group to have Catholics, Jews, Protestants and Muslims gather to talk about various issues facing their places of worship. The Rabbi went first and said they were having a terrible issue with squirrels. He said they were hanging around outside of church and aggressive...

I lost my job as an architect after my first day

Apparently a revolving mosque makes it difficult to pray towards Mecca.

Credit: comedian Milton Jones, king of the one-liners.

What do you call a bunch of Muslims on a low carb diet?

A Mosque-Keto

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Why Islam is growing rapidly !!!

Father Francis of Bradford was unhappy that the church attendance had steadily declined in the past few years but the mosque across the street was jampacked every Friday.

So he invited the imam for a cup of tea and then finally brought up the topic

Imam :So tell me,what happens if a ma...

Two Christians are lost in an Arabian desert

David and Michael were going on a safari where they got lost and their car stopped working, they started wondering throughout the desert. With food and water supply almost ending and no reception anywhere they were desperately looking for help. After a very long time in the heat of the desert and al...

2 Christians are lost in a desert, hungry and thirsty....

So they finally come across a mosque, and guy1 says "I'm going to tell the imam my name is Mohammed so he'll give me free food and drinks." Guy2 says "its not a good idea, I'm gonna tell him my real name." So they enter the mosque and find the imam, and they say their names. Imam says "nice to meet ...

Two guys survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert...

Two guys, John and James, survive a plane crash in the middle of the desert. With nothing better to do, and no food or water, they set out in search of civilisation.

A long while goes by, over which time they develop a fierce hunger. Suddenly, off in the distance, they spot a building. Excit...

Blonde got tired of hearing "dumb blonde" jokes.

A blonde woman decided that she was sick and tired of white men assuming she was stupid and easy because of her hair. She decided to buy a Muslim head covering and convert instead. After some diligent Googling, she set out to the mall to buy a Niqaab.
The next day she decided to sport it at the l...

What type of insects frequent Muslim places of worship?

Mosque-itos!

An old Turkish joke

In a muslim village people were praying in a mosque when suddenly a man with a knife in his hand rushes in and says "i need a muslim man" People were looking at each other and an old man gets up and leaves with the man.

They go to his home and the man says "im going to sacrifice this sheep b...

Two guys got lost in the Egyptian desert

Both christians, one named John and the other named Thomas. They were starving and about to collapse when they spotted a Mosque, They rushed there for help. The Imam came out and asked for their names, John came up with 'Abdullah' in a panic and Thomas just said his name. The Imam hastily told the p...

A Priest, an Imam, and a Rabbi are discussing collections.

"I draw a circle" said the Priest, "I throw all the money in the air and whatever lands in the circle goes to my church, all the rest goes to God."
"I draw a line" said the Imam, "I throw all the money in the air and whatever lands on the left goes to my mosque, whatever lands on the right goes t...

Two Christians Were walking in the desert....

They began to feel very hungry and thirsty. Then they saw a nearby mosque. Their names were Chris and Michael and Chris suggested to change names to Muslim names so they would give them food. Chris changed his to Ahmed but Michael refused and didn't change it. They approached the Sheikh of the mosqu...

The local Muslim community had raised enough money to build a new house of worship...

The local Muslim community had raised enough money to build a new house of worship, but others in the community wanted to send the money as aid to less privileged countries. To choose what they would do with the money, the leaders of the Islamic community decided to have an event where everyone coul...

Mike and David are stranded in the desert...

Mike and David are stranded in the desert. They've been walking for ages without food or even a sip of water. All of a sudden in the baron wasteland they find a mosque. David and mike agree that it is their best bet to go to the mosque because there'll be food and shelter. On the way to the mosque m...

Let's pretend we're Muslims

Two Christian missionaries, David and Michael, were lost in a scorching desert, dying of thirst and hunger when they saw a mosque up front.

David said: “Michael, let’s pretend we are Muslims. Otherwise, we will not get any food or water and we will die. My name will be Ahmed. What will be yo...

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